| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Bodhisattvacat" |
| Date: |
28 Nov 2004 01:06:32 PM |
| Object: |
Empathy-training and overcoming fear |
Some people can naturally put themselves in other people's shoes and
feel what they are feeling. I find that I can do that with some people
and not with others. While I was able to form very strong empathic
connections with certain people based on the things they had said
(Louise of a.r.c., "The Crow," Nutmegger and Michele among others), I
typically find it hard to understand where most people are coming from.
So what I've done instead is ask God to put me into situations in
which I would directly experience similar forces to ones a person I
wanted to understand had felt and experienced in order that I could
understand that person from inside out. When I wanted to understand
what someone I deeply loved and cared about had felt for a long time, I
asked God to put me into a situation in which I would experience the
treatment psychologically similar to what that woman had experienced.
God obliged, the great guy He is, and when I talked about the emotions
that my little experiment brought forth (constant guilt and shame;
sense of being entrapped with everyone hostile and no way out; despair,
inability to express feelings to anyone without them turning hostile
and treacherous, a constant attack on one's personality and feeling
oneself the worst person in the world), a person in my therapy group
who had been in a bad marriage said that this was precisely what she
had felt.
The beauty of this is that, after I had obtained the knowledge I had
been seeking - after I had felt the things she had felt - I could once
again go on with my life while incorporating the new understanding into
my consciousness. And I found it after that a lot easier to understand
other people as well.
I find this mechanism to give results that are, if anything, more
precise and more complete than results I would get if I were to
naturally have that capacity. If a person is accused of lacking
empathy, as some people accuse me of, then this is perhaps the best
way to overcome it.
Those who have ears, let them hear.
It is said in the Bible that God gives the spirit, not of fear, but
of strength, love, courage and righteousness. It is only acceptable in
the Bible to fear God, and to overcome with God's help all the other
fears. I was told that God would not put a person who serves Him into
a situation that he can't handle, and by letting God put myself into
challenging situations it's possible to grow strong and worthy of the
presence of God.
It is likewise said in the Bible that perfect love dispels fear.
Some people can perfectly love God the moment they hear about Him and
to keep loving Him whatever the circumstance. Other people need to
experience training in the concept, starting with fear (meaning
reverence) of God and following His laws and then letting love of God
grow as they experiences the marvelous grace and beauty that comes
from sincerely serving the Lord.
I am undergoing similar training, and I find the results very
rewarding.
Ilya Shambat
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000/poems.htm
http://www.geocities.com/drr0cket
.
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