| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
22 Dec 2006 11:44:56 PM |
| Object: |
Family dispute - is my brother depressed? |
I have a problem with my family. I think my brother is depressed and
have asked him to go on a trial of antidepressants. He doesn't want to
because he thinks medications are bad. Instead he has chosen to accept
the fact that he is unhappy and tries to ignore it. He drinks and
smokes pot on weekends and I believe on some weeknights as well. This
concerns me because I think that regular pot or alcohol use can worsen
depression. Here, taken out of context, are some emails that we've
exchanged. Does anyone agree with me that he might be depressed? Or is
my family right, and I'm making too much out of this?
Message from my brother to me (Oct 2006):
"It's on and off. i'm definitely not at the level of happiness i was
before - like the same things, smokings, partying, hanging out etc,
feel almost fun but not like they used to. sometimes now i just enjoy
being alone. i just do things now to pass the time- That's one reason I
work out so much. it makes me not have enough time to do nothing,
therefore i don't have to sit around and feel shitty. when i'm not
working out i hang out with random people who i know enjoy my company,
even though on the inside i may not want to be there. sometimes i talk
to my roommates about how I'm in low spirits. i read a lot too. it
helps to wake up and have a plan or goal because then you feel a sense
of accomplishment rather than pitying oneself. and school blows Haha.
having a girlfriend helps for the same reasons, as well as the fact
that you usually receive some sort of elation- I'm weird and picky
though so it is hard to find a girl here. Yay eight oclock class.
goodnight."
Message from me to my mom, brother, sister (Dec 2006):
"He sent me this message two months ago:
'It's on and off. i'm definitely not at the level of happiness i was
before - like the same things, smokings, partying, hanging out etc,
feel almost fun but not like they used to. sometimes now i just enjoy
being alone. i just do things now to pass the time- That's one reason I
work out so much. it makes me not have enough time to do nothing,
therefore i don't have to sit around and feel shitty. when i'm not
working out i hang out with random people who i know enjoy my company,
even though on the inside i may not want to be there. sometimes i talk
to my roommates about how I'm in low spirits. i read a lot too. it
helps to wake up and have a plan or goal because then you feel a sense
of accomplishment rather than pitying oneself. and school blows Haha.
having a girlfriend helps for the same reasons, as well as the fact
that you usually receive some sort of elation- I'm weird and picky
though so it is hard to find a girl here. Yay eight oclock class.
goodnight.'
It's sad that you're not going to do anything about this. If I'm wrong,
and he isn't depressed, the worst that's going to happen is he'll take
some pills for a few weeks, nothing will change, and he will stop
taking them. If you're wrong, the worst that will happen is he will be
miserable for the rest of his life because you didn't try hard enough
to convince him that something was wrong."
Response from my mom (Dec 2006):
"that was 2 months ago...
change his mind? he already stated how he feels about
medication...what part don't you understand? Please drop this topic,
get off his case...you are only seeing what you want to see. why are
you soooooooooooo obsessed with this?????????????"
Response from my sister (Dec 2006):
"HE IS NOT DEPRESSED. These are thoughts that all people have on a
regular basis. I have had them too and it's TOTALLY NORMAL. You can't
be completely happy all day every day. It is healthy to reflect on your
feelings, even those that aren't positive. Stop worrying about his
mental state."
Response from my brother (Dec 2006):
"I mean it is a fact: I am not as happy as I used to be, so I have to
find additional ways to increase my level of happiness. Oh well. I'm
not going to sit around and take pills in hope that they will magically
alter the synapse connection in my brain or whatever in order to make
me happier. I try to take as little medication as possible because I
feel as though most of it is detrimental to one' s health."
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| User: "Nirvana" |
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| Title: Re: Family dispute - is my brother depressed? |
23 Dec 2006 12:01:31 AM |
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I'm bad at judging people, but you were wrong where you said the worse
he could do is go on trial of meds, etc. He could be hiding alot more
about how he feels and end up choosing suicide. If it is in fact
depression.
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| User: "CyberDroog" |
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| Title: Re: Family dispute - is my brother depressed? |
23 Dec 2006 03:35:42 AM |
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On 22 Dec 2006 21:44:56 -0800, wrote:
I have a problem with my family. I think my brother is depressed and
have asked him to go on a trial of antidepressants. He doesn't want to
because he thinks medications are bad. Instead he has chosen to accept
the fact that he is unhappy and tries to ignore it. He drinks and
smokes pot on weekends and I believe on some weeknights as well. This
concerns me because I think that regular pot or alcohol use can worsen
depression. Here, taken out of context, are some emails that we've
exchanged. Does anyone agree with me that he might be depressed? Or is
my family right, and I'm making too much out of this?
The conversations don't matter. It isn't your life. You have voiced your
concerns, now leave it at that and let him be. Harping is just going to
drive him away.
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: Family dispute - is my brother depressed? |
23 Dec 2006 11:33:59 AM |
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CyberDroog wrote:
On 22 Dec 2006 21:44:56 -0800, wrote:
I have a problem with my family. I think my brother is depressed and
have asked him to go on a trial of antidepressants. He doesn't want to
because he thinks medications are bad. Instead he has chosen to accept
the fact that he is unhappy and tries to ignore it. He drinks and
smokes pot on weekends and I believe on some weeknights as well. This
concerns me because I think that regular pot or alcohol use can worsen
depression. Here, taken out of context, are some emails that we've
exchanged. Does anyone agree with me that he might be depressed? Or is
my family right, and I'm making too much out of this?
The conversations don't matter. It isn't your life. You have voiced your
concerns, now leave it at that and let him be. Harping is just going to
drive him away.
Yep. You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think. If
he'd rather not be assessed for depression, you can't change his mind.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Family dispute - is my brother depressed? |
27 Dec 2006 01:45:14 AM |
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Noon Cat Nick wrote:
CyberDroog wrote:
On 22 Dec 2006 21:44:56 -0800, wrote:
I have a problem with my family. I think my brother is depressed and
have asked him to go on a trial of antidepressants. He doesn't want to
because he thinks medications are bad. Instead he has chosen to accept
the fact that he is unhappy and tries to ignore it. He drinks and
smokes pot on weekends and I believe on some weeknights as well. This
concerns me because I think that regular pot or alcohol use can worsen
depression. Here, taken out of context, are some emails that we've
exchanged. Does anyone agree with me that he might be depressed? Or is
my family right, and I'm making too much out of this?
The conversations don't matter. It isn't your life. You have voiced your
concerns, now leave it at that and let him be. Harping is just going to
drive him away.
Yep. You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think. If
he'd rather not be assessed for depression, you can't change his mind.
Yes, but I underwent the same problem when I was younger, and starkly
resisted any attempts to put me on anti-depressants. Much to the same
manner that my brother was doing now. Except shortly after that I went
away for the summer and experimented with a whole lot of drugs. Then
realized that why I loved them so much was because my everyday life
sucked in comparison. I was depressed. And I deeply regretted not
listening to the people who tried to convince me otherwise, beforehand.
It occured to me that the antidepressant drugs that I would never touch
and the recreational drugs that I loved to death worked completely
similar, by altering the brain's chemistry. I wish someone would have
knocked some sense into me about this.
Fast forward five years, and the same thing is happening now, except to
my brother. Except he does not seem to understand how drugs work, as
you can see by his message. Alcohol and pot work in the exact same way
you have described, I tell him. But he gave no reply. Still desperate
to avoid a repeat of my actions that I so regretted, I tried everything
short of forcing them down his throat. I tried putting pressure on my
parents to talk him into it. I tried offering him $25,000 (which I'm
not even sure I have) to go on a three week trial of zoloft. No dice.
And the worst part is I fear this might not be only depression. He has
started to exhibit signs of mental "weirdness" that are in sharp
contrast to his personality of even say, a year ago. It's hard to
explain, and would probably not be seen by other people who might not
be as deeply familiar with his personality as I am. Just he's making
some strange logical errors. It's too mild for anyone but me to notice,
but I fear that in a few more years of regular pot and alcohol use it
will be more fleshed out and no longer mild at all. I just hope that
whatever it is it can be fixed.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Family dispute - is my brother depressed? |
27 Dec 2006 11:02:34 AM |
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<> wrote in message
news:1167205514.043755.193090@h40g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
CyberDroog wrote:
On 22 Dec 2006 21:44:56 -0800, wrote:
I have a problem with my family. I think my brother is depressed and
have asked him to go on a trial of antidepressants. He doesn't want to
because he thinks medications are bad. Instead he has chosen to accept
the fact that he is unhappy and tries to ignore it. He drinks and
smokes pot on weekends and I believe on some weeknights as well. This
concerns me because I think that regular pot or alcohol use can worsen
depression. Here, taken out of context, are some emails that we've
exchanged. Does anyone agree with me that he might be depressed? Or is
my family right, and I'm making too much out of this?
The conversations don't matter. It isn't your life. You have voiced
your
concerns, now leave it at that and let him be. Harping is just going to
drive him away.
Yep. You can lead a boy to college, but you can't make him think. If
he'd rather not be assessed for depression, you can't change his mind.
Yes, but
Ah, the mantra of one who thinks they can control a situation.
Unfortunately you can't. You can't force your brother to do anything he
doesn't want to do. It may be sad and scary and a whole lot of other
things, but it is what it is and there is nothing you can do about it. The
kind of help you're describing is the kind of help he has to get on his own.
Let it go and hope for the best before he starts hating you for interfering
and you lose him forever.
--
Rhi
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