| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Brianversion" |
| Date: |
21 Sep 2006 02:33:40 PM |
| Object: |
Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
So I'm single, 51. I have to be 'on' 7/24 to assist my elderly friend.
Yesterday, I kind of chewed out a doctor for him, who would have him
doing test after test for a urological problem, when the drug he gave
me for him wasn't explained 3 weeks ago. It was a drug to help stop
peeing, but I was giving it in the morning, making him get up 4 times
at night to pee. Since my friend can't answer questions, like"is it
working?", and I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing with
the drug, I opted for another drug which I will give him AT NIGHT, so
he doesn't have to get out of bed 4 times. I hope.
I get up at 10 am, to make breakfast for my friend, feed the
cats....then go back to bed for an hour, wake up to brutal daytime
depression. I only get relief at night when I am not paranoid, but I
can't get to sleep like a normal person. I used to get up and go to
work, like a normal person. I haven't done that in years. So I went
grocery shopping at 1 pm, muttering, "God please help me." I hate
grocery shopping. I am in charge of all the money, the taxes, the
house....and I don't want to be. It's not my money, but it is my
house, in name. I am careful, keeping good records, because I think
the state is gonna come in someday and say, "what the hell is a
depressed insecure idiot like yourself doing in charge of all this
stuff? and if you can do this, why can't you get a a job like a normal
person?" At night, I don't worry about them coming for me.
My friend was so adult, before his age and his stroke caught up with
him. He had no mental illness, no insecurities, irrational fears. He
was a retiree with a great pension, insurance...and still is. I
haven't the confidence to make decisions. But I have to do it, or he
would be in a nursing home. I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
I have to keep going, that's all. Maybe in ten years I'll buy a motor
home and spend the rest of my life in it. Stuck in traffic. Now I
have to check the mail. I hate checking the mail.
.
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| User: "justabeing" |
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| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
21 Sep 2006 02:50:28 PM |
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"Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1158867220.588111.208210@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
So I'm single, 51. I have to be 'on' 7/24 to assist my elderly friend.
Yesterday, I kind of chewed out a doctor for him, who would have him
doing test after test for a urological problem, when the drug he gave
me for him wasn't explained 3 weeks ago. It was a drug to help stop
peeing, but I was giving it in the morning, making him get up 4 times
at night to pee. Since my friend can't answer questions, like"is it
working?", and I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing with
the drug, I opted for another drug which I will give him AT NIGHT, so
he doesn't have to get out of bed 4 times. I hope.
I get up at 10 am, to make breakfast for my friend, feed the
cats....then go back to bed for an hour, wake up to brutal daytime
depression. I only get relief at night when I am not paranoid, but I
can't get to sleep like a normal person. I used to get up and go to
work, like a normal person. I haven't done that in years. So I went
grocery shopping at 1 pm, muttering, "God please help me." I hate
grocery shopping. I am in charge of all the money, the taxes, the
house....and I don't want to be. It's not my money, but it is my
house, in name. I am careful, keeping good records, because I think
the state is gonna come in someday and say, "what the hell is a
depressed insecure idiot like yourself doing in charge of all this
stuff? and if you can do this, why can't you get a a job like a normal
person?" At night, I don't worry about them coming for me.
My friend was so adult, before his age and his stroke caught up with
him. He had no mental illness, no insecurities, irrational fears. He
was a retiree with a great pension, insurance...and still is. I
haven't the confidence to make decisions. But I have to do it, or he
would be in a nursing home. I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
I have to keep going, that's all. Maybe in ten years I'll buy a motor
home and spend the rest of my life in it. Stuck in traffic. Now I
have to check the mail. I hate checking the mail.
my guess is that you have care-taker burnout and you need some
respite........
carrying the entire ball not only for yourself but someone else is not easy
at all, especially when they're not well or incapacitated
do you have any sort of caretaker respite available in your area?
.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
21 Sep 2006 03:20:22 PM |
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justabeing wrote:
"Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1158867220.588111.208210@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
So I'm single, 51. I have to be 'on' 7/24 to assist my elderly friend.
Yesterday, I kind of chewed out a doctor for him, who would have him
doing test after test for a urological problem, when the drug he gave
me for him wasn't explained 3 weeks ago. It was a drug to help stop
peeing, but I was giving it in the morning, making him get up 4 times
at night to pee. Since my friend can't answer questions, like"is it
working?", and I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing with
the drug, I opted for another drug which I will give him AT NIGHT, so
he doesn't have to get out of bed 4 times. I hope.
I get up at 10 am, to make breakfast for my friend, feed the
cats....then go back to bed for an hour, wake up to brutal daytime
depression. I only get relief at night when I am not paranoid, but I
can't get to sleep like a normal person. I used to get up and go to
work, like a normal person. I haven't done that in years. So I went
grocery shopping at 1 pm, muttering, "God please help me." I hate
grocery shopping. I am in charge of all the money, the taxes, the
house....and I don't want to be. It's not my money, but it is my
house, in name. I am careful, keeping good records, because I think
the state is gonna come in someday and say, "what the hell is a
depressed insecure idiot like yourself doing in charge of all this
stuff? and if you can do this, why can't you get a a job like a normal
person?" At night, I don't worry about them coming for me.
My friend was so adult, before his age and his stroke caught up with
him. He had no mental illness, no insecurities, irrational fears. He
was a retiree with a great pension, insurance...and still is. I
haven't the confidence to make decisions. But I have to do it, or he
would be in a nursing home. I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
I have to keep going, that's all. Maybe in ten years I'll buy a motor
home and spend the rest of my life in it. Stuck in traffic. Now I
have to check the mail. I hate checking the mail.
my guess is that you have care-taker burnout and you need some
respite........
carrying the entire ball not only for yourself but someone else is not easy
at all, especially when they're not well or incapacitated
do you have any sort of caretaker respite available in your area?
I don't know, we just moved here 5 months ago. My mother and sister
live across the street. But only my mother comes by with the homemade
food, which we appreciate. I DO need a couple days away, I've been on
this schedule since Feb. 9. The money is there, if I could find
someone I trust, to teach them the routine and give me a break. Maybe
your idea is something I should focus on, because I'm no good when I'm
all paranoid and think this will never end. Thanks, Justa. (Still
don't know your name or boy or girl...) Peace.
.
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| User: "justabeing" |
|
| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
21 Sep 2006 03:29:39 PM |
|
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"Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1158870022.599141.146280@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
justabeing wrote:
"Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1158867220.588111.208210@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
So I'm single, 51. I have to be 'on' 7/24 to assist my elderly friend.
Yesterday, I kind of chewed out a doctor for him, who would have him
doing test after test for a urological problem, when the drug he gave
me for him wasn't explained 3 weeks ago. It was a drug to help stop
peeing, but I was giving it in the morning, making him get up 4 times
at night to pee. Since my friend can't answer questions, like"is it
working?", and I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing with
the drug, I opted for another drug which I will give him AT NIGHT, so
he doesn't have to get out of bed 4 times. I hope.
I get up at 10 am, to make breakfast for my friend, feed the
cats....then go back to bed for an hour, wake up to brutal daytime
depression. I only get relief at night when I am not paranoid, but I
can't get to sleep like a normal person. I used to get up and go to
work, like a normal person. I haven't done that in years. So I went
grocery shopping at 1 pm, muttering, "God please help me." I hate
grocery shopping. I am in charge of all the money, the taxes, the
house....and I don't want to be. It's not my money, but it is my
house, in name. I am careful, keeping good records, because I think
the state is gonna come in someday and say, "what the hell is a
depressed insecure idiot like yourself doing in charge of all this
stuff? and if you can do this, why can't you get a a job like a normal
person?" At night, I don't worry about them coming for me.
My friend was so adult, before his age and his stroke caught up with
him. He had no mental illness, no insecurities, irrational fears. He
was a retiree with a great pension, insurance...and still is. I
haven't the confidence to make decisions. But I have to do it, or he
would be in a nursing home. I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
I have to keep going, that's all. Maybe in ten years I'll buy a motor
home and spend the rest of my life in it. Stuck in traffic. Now I
have to check the mail. I hate checking the mail.
my guess is that you have care-taker burnout and you need some
respite........
carrying the entire ball not only for yourself but someone else is not
easy
at all, especially when they're not well or incapacitated
do you have any sort of caretaker respite available in your area?
I don't know, we just moved here 5 months ago. My mother and sister
live across the street. But only my mother comes by with the homemade
food, which we appreciate. I DO need a couple days away, I've been on
this schedule since Feb. 9. The money is there, if I could find
someone I trust, to teach them the routine and give me a break. Maybe
your idea is something I should focus on, because I'm no good when I'm
all paranoid and think this will never end. Thanks, Justa. (Still
don't know your name or boy or girl...) Peace.
yeah, i'd say that'd be a good priority, checkin into respite care for
yourself, otherwise i think you'll most likely implode
can't the doctors, hospitals, or social services provide you with any links?
hows about the internet to check this out in your area?
yellow pages, maybe, too?
you can't go on like that
seriously
its justa toooooooooooo much
i'm justa big ol' ugly gorilla of a guy
very scary!
(beating chest and yelling)
justabeing (dan)
.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
|
| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
21 Sep 2006 04:29:09 PM |
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justabeing wrote:
"Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1158870022.599141.146280@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
justabeing wrote:
"Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1158867220.588111.208210@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
So I'm single, 51. I have to be 'on' 7/24 to assist my elderly friend.
Yesterday, I kind of chewed out a doctor for him, who would have him
doing test after test for a urological problem, when the drug he gave
me for him wasn't explained 3 weeks ago. It was a drug to help stop
peeing, but I was giving it in the morning, making him get up 4 times
at night to pee. Since my friend can't answer questions, like"is it
working?", and I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing with
the drug, I opted for another drug which I will give him AT NIGHT, so
he doesn't have to get out of bed 4 times. I hope.
I get up at 10 am, to make breakfast for my friend, feed the
cats....then go back to bed for an hour, wake up to brutal daytime
depression. I only get relief at night when I am not paranoid, but I
can't get to sleep like a normal person. I used to get up and go to
work, like a normal person. I haven't done that in years. So I went
grocery shopping at 1 pm, muttering, "God please help me." I hate
grocery shopping. I am in charge of all the money, the taxes, the
house....and I don't want to be. It's not my money, but it is my
house, in name. I am careful, keeping good records, because I think
the state is gonna come in someday and say, "what the hell is a
depressed insecure idiot like yourself doing in charge of all this
stuff? and if you can do this, why can't you get a a job like a normal
person?" At night, I don't worry about them coming for me.
My friend was so adult, before his age and his stroke caught up with
him. He had no mental illness, no insecurities, irrational fears. He
was a retiree with a great pension, insurance...and still is. I
haven't the confidence to make decisions. But I have to do it, or he
would be in a nursing home. I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
I have to keep going, that's all. Maybe in ten years I'll buy a motor
home and spend the rest of my life in it. Stuck in traffic. Now I
have to check the mail. I hate checking the mail.
my guess is that you have care-taker burnout and you need some
respite........
carrying the entire ball not only for yourself but someone else is not
easy
at all, especially when they're not well or incapacitated
do you have any sort of caretaker respite available in your area?
I don't know, we just moved here 5 months ago. My mother and sister
live across the street. But only my mother comes by with the homemade
food, which we appreciate. I DO need a couple days away, I've been on
this schedule since Feb. 9. The money is there, if I could find
someone I trust, to teach them the routine and give me a break. Maybe
your idea is something I should focus on, because I'm no good when I'm
all paranoid and think this will never end. Thanks, Justa. (Still
don't know your name or boy or girl...) Peace.
yeah, i'd say that'd be a good priority, checkin into respite care for
yourself, otherwise i think you'll most likely implode
can't the doctors, hospitals, or social services provide you with any links?
hows about the internet to check this out in your area?
yellow pages, maybe, too?
you can't go on like that
seriously
its justa toooooooooooo much
i'm justa big ol' ugly gorilla of a guy
very scary!
(beating chest and yelling)
justabeing (dan)
Thanks, Dan. Yeah, I'm sure there's help/info somewhere. It's a
dilemma, because on one hand, I don't like having people invade our
space, like they do twice a week when they come and bathe my buddy. On
the other hand, I need the help. On the other hand, I would have 3
hands. I'm gonna look into it. It will be nice to get someone I TRUST
to take up the slack maybe once a month. twould be heavenly. The
agency that does the bathing (which I used to do, and I do a better
job) had 'St Francis' in their name, so I figured they would be
saintly. They are a bunch of hacks, in and out./ Tonight, he's fed,
he's watching the news, he's happy. If he could walk more than 100
feet at a time, we'd probably explore the neighborhood./ Good talking
to ya, Dan. Peace.
.
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| User: "southerndarlyn1013" |
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| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
27 Sep 2006 08:54:39 AM |
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Brianversion wrote:
So I'm single, 51. I have to be 'on' 7/24 to assist my elderly friend.
Yesterday, I kind of chewed out a doctor for him, who would have him
doing test after test for a urological problem, when the drug he gave
me for him wasn't explained 3 weeks ago. It was a drug to help stop
peeing, but I was giving it in the morning, making him get up 4 times
at night to pee. Since my friend can't answer questions, like"is it
working?", and I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing with
the drug, I opted for another drug which I will give him AT NIGHT, so
he doesn't have to get out of bed 4 times. I hope.
I get up at 10 am, to make breakfast for my friend, feed the
cats....then go back to bed for an hour, wake up to brutal daytime
depression. I only get relief at night when I am not paranoid, but I
can't get to sleep like a normal person. I used to get up and go to
work, like a normal person. I haven't done that in years. So I went
grocery shopping at 1 pm, muttering, "God please help me." I hate
grocery shopping. I am in charge of all the money, the taxes, the
house....and I don't want to be. It's not my money, but it is my
house, in name. I am careful, keeping good records, because I think
the state is gonna come in someday and say, "what the hell is a
depressed insecure idiot like yourself doing in charge of all this
stuff? and if you can do this, why can't you get a a job like a normal
person?" At night, I don't worry about them coming for me.
My friend was so adult, before his age and his stroke caught up with
him. He had no mental illness, no insecurities, irrational fears. He
was a retiree with a great pension, insurance...and still is. I
haven't the confidence to make decisions. But I have to do it, or he
would be in a nursing home. I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
I have to keep going, that's all. Maybe in ten years I'll buy a motor
home and spend the rest of my life in it. Stuck in traffic. Now I
have to check the mail. I hate checking the mail.
.
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| User: "Nina" |
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| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
21 Sep 2006 04:16:08 PM |
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On 21 Sep 2006 12:33:40 -0700, "Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com>
wrote:
I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
Brian, you're doing a good job. You're doing a terrific job, and
you're doing a hell of a lot more, a lot more carefully and a lot more
conscientiously than most people would. I don't have to be there to
see that.
Try to believe in yourself.
.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: Fear of the future(too long I guess) |
21 Sep 2006 11:16:54 PM |
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Nina wrote:
On 21 Sep 2006 12:33:40 -0700, "Brianversion" <brianguitar@gmail.com>
wrote:
I wish the state would just come in, look
at the checkbook and say," Brian, you're doing a good job, keep it up."
I have a bit of an income, with which I buy my personal stuff... I
don't use Bob's money to buy myself new guitars or clothes or
vacations....so why am I so constantly worried?(just writing, I can see
the answer...I'm a big baby.)
Brian, you're doing a good job. You're doing a terrific job, and
you're doing a hell of a lot more, a lot more carefully and a lot more
conscientiously than most people would. I don't have to be there to
see that.
Try to believe in yourself.
Hi Nina. Thanks.
.
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