| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"used2be" |
| Date: |
24 Jun 2004 03:59:23 AM |
| Object: |
feelin' low... |
i woke up at 1:30 am feeling terribly sad and low. going back to sleep
seems hopeless. i laid there for 2 hours and it just isn't going to happen.
why keep trying to force it, right?
i had some friends take me out to lunch for my b-day yesterday, and that was
so very nice, but other than that, there was nothing. my husband did
nothing. my kids did nothing. not even cards. not from any of them. and
my mom didn't even call (and she always calls on my birthday). and as dumb
and unimportant as all of that truly is, it still hurts so much. it was a
special birthday because it was my 40th, yet the only people who saw it as
anything at all to celebrate were 4 of my friends (whom i love dearly for
it). and you guys, too. so many nice thoughts from you guys. i appreciate
that. i do. i just wish that the people who i love the most in the world
had felt that it was special to them as well. :-( dumb of me to get upset,
i know. *sigh* oh well. i just feel so weary and sad tonight.
it's one of those nights where i just feel so strongly that i just don't
wanna do it anymore. i don't know if i can stand 40 more years of this.
:'-(
here is where % will say "so what are you going to do about it?" i don't
know. i just don't know anymore. i'm just so tired of trying.
poor pitiful me.
u2b
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| User: "Tim Kettring" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 04:04:49 PM |
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"used2be" <cindyb@ERASETHISaustin.rr.com> wrote in message
news:LJwCc.4685$OX2.4537@fe2.texas.rr.com...
i woke up at 1:30 am feeling terribly sad and low. going back to sleep
seems hopeless. i laid there for 2 hours and it just isn't going to
happen.
why keep trying to force it, right?
i had some friends take me out to lunch for my b-day yesterday, and that
was
so very nice, but other than that, there was nothing. my husband did
nothing. my kids did nothing. not even cards. not from any of them.
and
my mom didn't even call (and she always calls on my birthday). and as
dumb
and unimportant as all of that truly is, it still hurts so much. it was a
special birthday because it was my 40th, yet the only people who saw it as
anything at all to celebrate were 4 of my friends (whom i love dearly for
it). and you guys, too. so many nice thoughts from you guys. i
appreciate
that. i do. i just wish that the people who i love the most in the world
had felt that it was special to them as well. :-( dumb of me to get
upset,
i know. *sigh* oh well. i just feel so weary and sad tonight.
it's one of those nights where i just feel so strongly that i just don't
wanna do it anymore. i don't know if i can stand 40 more years of this.
:'-(
here is where % will say "so what are you going to do about it?" i don't
know. i just don't know anymore. i'm just so tired of trying.
poor pitiful me.
u2b
{{{{{used2be}}}}} , Dont feel bad , my own mother didnt send me a birthday
card . In fact I only got one my least favorite aunt sent , and that was ALL
I got for my birthday , other than the vehicle registrations I paid for .
.
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 07:07:17 AM |
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Cindy,
Wait a moment here!! Your 40th birthday? That is really special! Don't let
your hubby and kids ignore it -- they must have forgot! Confront them -- this
kind of thing is really really wrong. Please, say something to them. You are
too sweet a lady to be ignored on your special day.
Best
Rosena
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| User: "crysalis" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 11:47:43 AM |
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Hey Cindy,
I know it hurts. As I advance through my 40's it hurts sometimes to
feel how much power my children and husband have over my identity and
self worth. I know alot of people will say that power is only theirs
if we give it to them, but I'd like to hear them say that in your
shoes.
All I can say is Happy Birthay. Our heavenly Father treasures the day
you were born. He has it inscribed on the palm of his hand, and he
used your 4 friends to mark the day.
I know how easily something like this can start the spiral. I'm here
if you need to talk about it.
Bobbie
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| User: "Jonathan M. \TacticalSniper\ Boyko" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
03 Jul 2004 02:11:42 PM |
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I don't think you're acting "dumb" by being upset about your closest persons
not noticing your 40th birthday. I myself think it is an extremely upsetting
issue. What you should do, IMHO, is to talk with your mother, and tell her
that you were deeply hurt by her attitude. I, of course, don't know what the
relationship between you and her is, but I did get the impression that
you're fine. Just remember one thing - when you're talking to her, whatever
happens - don't make it a fight. Make it a discussion. Fighting will get you
nowhere - discussion will.
Then, I think, you should talk first with your husband alone, and then with
your husband and the kids together. Once again, don't make it a fight. Leave
them all the chance to make it up for you. This way it will easen your
burden, and also will normalize the relationship in your family.
--
Sincerely,
Jonathan M. "TacticalSniper" Boyko
SWAT@GMX.Co.UK
ICQ: 105977101
+972-54-5951910
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| User: "BGumm" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
25 Jun 2004 11:35:28 PM |
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It is not dumb of you to get upset. My husband didn't do anything for mine at
the beginning of this month either. SO I took the checkbook and went out and
bought what I wanted making sure that he knew every step of the way that this
was making up for his lack of common courtesy. He got nothing from me for
Father's day and will get nothing from me for his birthday next month.
I get tired of this inconsideration.
As for your kids I am sorry they were so thoughtless. Mine were ok this year.
I just go along with the little things because I realize that they haven't the
money and am grateful for the small things they do do even if it is not what I
would've liked.
I had no cake and ice cream.
My best friend brought my gift to me 4 or 5 days later and did nothing for me.
(I did nice things for HER birthday)
I does hurt especially if you are the exact opposite with things. I know I am.
I used to go all out for special ocassions and now I don't as much.
I am sorry things didn't work out for you but DO FOR YOURSELF. Do something
nice for you and tell your husband to shove it.
Becky
getting meaner and angrier in her old age.
"I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild;
when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and
moody. And in all its moods, I see myself."
-Martin Buxbaum
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 09:32:10 AM |
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used2be wrote:
i woke up at 1:30 am feeling terribly sad and low. going back to sleep
seems hopeless. i laid there for 2 hours and it just isn't going to happen.
why keep trying to force it, right?
Right. If I wake up and can't go back to sleep, I don't bother to try. I
just get up and do something.
i had some friends take me out to lunch for my b-day yesterday, and that was
so very nice, but other than that, there was nothing. my husband did
nothing. my kids did nothing. not even cards. not from any of them. and
my mom didn't even call (and she always calls on my birthday). and as dumb
and unimportant as all of that truly is, it still hurts so much. it was a
special birthday because it was my 40th, yet the only people who saw it as
anything at all to celebrate were 4 of my friends (whom i love dearly for
it). and you guys, too. so many nice thoughts from you guys. i appreciate
that. i do. i just wish that the people who i love the most in the world
had felt that it was special to them as well. :-( dumb of me to get upset,
i know. *sigh* oh well. i just feel so weary and sad tonight.
Hey, don't belittle yourself because your family is callous. A 30th,
40th, 50th, etc. birthday is usually treated with special regard. I can
hardly believe everyone in your family wouldn't even give you so much as
a spoken "Happy Birthday" greeting. It's not your fault, it's theirs.
I remember some years ago, when my mother turned 70. Her birthday that
year was on the day after Thanksgiving. On top of that, she'd wrenched
her left elbow a few days earlier, and had her arm in a sling. Except
for me, not one of her children or grandchildren visited on
Thanksgiving, or even called her or sent her a card. One of my brothers
had said he'd take her out to dinner, then completely blew it off
without saying a word. I don't know if she remembers that, but I'm still
kinda bitter about it. Next year is her 75th birthday, which falls on
Thanksgiving that year, and I'm gonna do my best to make sure she isn't
forgotten by her family.
it's one of those nights where i just feel so strongly that i just don't
wanna do it anymore. i don't know if i can stand 40 more years of this.
Who could? But just remember you've got friends who care about you.
Friends are often a person's best family. They're the relatives you
choose and who choose you, in my POV.
here is where % will say "so what are you going to do about it?" i don't
know. i just don't know anymore. i'm just so tired of trying.
We've all gotten tired of trying at times. The best I can tell you right
now is to keep your friends in mind. They obviously keep you in mind.
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 04:47:40 AM |
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used2be wrote:
i woke up at 1:30 am feeling terribly sad and low. going back to sleep
seems hopeless. i laid there for 2 hours and it just isn't going to happen.
why keep trying to force it, right?
i had some friends take me out to lunch for my b-day yesterday, and that was
so very nice, but other than that, there was nothing. my husband did
nothing. my kids did nothing. not even cards. not from any of them. and
my mom didn't even call (and she always calls on my birthday). and as dumb
and unimportant as all of that truly is, it still hurts so much. it was a
special birthday because it was my 40th, yet the only people who saw it as
anything at all to celebrate were 4 of my friends (whom i love dearly for
it). and you guys, too. so many nice thoughts from you guys. i appreciate
that. i do. i just wish that the people who i love the most in the world
had felt that it was special to them as well. :-( dumb of me to get upset,
i know. *sigh* oh well. i just feel so weary and sad tonight.
it's one of those nights where i just feel so strongly that i just don't
wanna do it anymore. i don't know if i can stand 40 more years of this.
:'-(
here is where % will say "so what are you going to do about it?" i don't
know. i just don't know anymore. i'm just so tired of trying.
poor pitiful me.
u2b
Ouch. I recently had a 'day of birth' but these days I just don't do
'em. My family are instructed to ignore it and mostly they succeed.
My American cousin who is bipolar sent me an electronic birthday
card so I wondered what she was thinking of. I don't do birthdays...
live with it.
Take care.
GlennT
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 09:26:04 PM |
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used2be wrote:
just wish that the people who i love the most in the world had felt
that it was special to them as well. :-( dumb of me to get upset, i
know. *sigh* oh well. i just feel so weary and sad tonight.
I am SO sorry that your family neglected to remember your special day. I
remember when I turned 40, it was big. I saw my sister for the first time in
10 years, which my son had arranged and the party with 30 guests dragged on
til dawn.
I have not had a birthday since, well not one that was celebrated. My son
has since forgotten every year that I do have a birthday and because we are
usually broke just after Christmas, my b'day is often a non event, just
dinner and a bottle of wine. But I am sorry that your family did not even
remember to send you a card or a hug at least....
--
Regards Lee
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of
enthusiasm. ~ Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "epicphart" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
25 Jun 2004 08:49:33 AM |
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used2be wrote:
poor pitiful me.
u2b
yep....
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
25 Jun 2004 10:21:07 AM |
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"epicphart" <nahhhYouDontWantIt@nahh.net> wrote in message
news:40DC2D6D.2010308@nahh.net...
used2be wrote:
poor pitiful me.
u2b
yep....
hey Slap Nutts , hows ity going now , ay
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| User: "solidac" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... |
24 Jun 2004 04:31:28 AM |
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why don't you straight out tell your Mum, hubby and your kids that you were
not very happy that they didn't do anything for you on your special day?
Maybe something subtle, like "did you know i turned 40 yesterday?". Or, how
about "isn't it good when you get lots of happy birthdays from folk who
aren't even remotely related!"
hope you get some sleep
and.. - happy birthday 2u!
(and that's another 1 from someone who almost certainly isn't related)
"used2be" <cindyb@ERASETHISaustin.rr.com> wrote in message
news:LJwCc.4685$OX2.4537@fe2.texas.rr.com...
i woke up at 1:30 am feeling terribly sad and low. going back to sleep
seems hopeless. i laid there for 2 hours and it just isn't going to
happen.
why keep trying to force it, right?
i had some friends take me out to lunch for my b-day yesterday, and that
was
so very nice, but other than that, there was nothing. my husband did
nothing. my kids did nothing. not even cards. not from any of them.
and
my mom didn't even call (and she always calls on my birthday). and as
dumb
and unimportant as all of that truly is, it still hurts so much. it was a
special birthday because it was my 40th, yet the only people who saw it as
anything at all to celebrate were 4 of my friends (whom i love dearly for
it). and you guys, too. so many nice thoughts from you guys. i
appreciate
that. i do. i just wish that the people who i love the most in the world
had felt that it was special to them as well. :-( dumb of me to get
upset,
i know. *sigh* oh well. i just feel so weary and sad tonight.
it's one of those nights where i just feel so strongly that i just don't
wanna do it anymore. i don't know if i can stand 40 more years of this.
:'-(
here is where % will say "so what are you going to do about it?" i don't
know. i just don't know anymore. i'm just so tired of trying.
poor pitiful me.
u2b
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| User: "used2be" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... (reply to all) |
24 Jun 2004 01:18:26 PM |
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"solidac" <say@no.to.spam> wrote in message
news:1088069658.755937@teuthos...
why don't you straight out tell your Mum, hubby and your kids that you
were
not very happy that they didn't do anything for you on your special day?
Maybe something subtle, like "did you know i turned 40 yesterday?". Or,
how
about "isn't it good when you get lots of happy birthdays from folk who
aren't even remotely related!"
hope you get some sleep
and.. - happy birthday 2u!
(and that's another 1 from someone who almost certainly isn't related)
thanks solidac. and everyone else who responded. my family did know it was
my birthday. they just didn't do anything about it. and it's not much fun
if i have to force them into it, ya know? :-( i didn't want much. just a
card or a hug would have been sufficient. really!!!
oh well. there's always 10 years from now when i turn 50 to look forward
to, right??
i sure thank you guys, though. ya'll sure made it special for me at least.
especially alvin (and he didn't even know it at the time!!).
love,
u2b
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| User: "alvintchase" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... (reply to all) |
24 Jun 2004 05:36:38 PM |
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"used2be" <cindyb@ERASETHISaustin.rr.com> wrote in message news:<SVECc.7465$OX2.4270@fe2.texas.rr.com>...
i sure thank you guys, though. ya'll sure made it special for me at least.
especially alvin (and he didn't even know it at the time!!).
love,
u2b
I'm really happy to hear that...
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: feelin' low... (reply to all) |
24 Jun 2004 11:23:58 PM |
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used2be <cindyb@erasethisaustin.rr.com> wrote:
"solidac" <say@no.to.spam> wrote in message
news:1088069658.755937@teuthos...
about "isn't it good when you get lots of happy birthdays from folk who
aren't even remotely related!"
and.. - happy birthday 2u!
Happy (Belated) Birthday.
my birthday. they just didn't do anything about it. and it's not much fun
if i have to force them into it, ya know? :-( i didn't want much. just a
card or a hug would have been sufficient. really!!!
I send cards, I have been doing better about that in the past years
although I recall some "late" cards.
Wish I had some suggestions for wrt you and yours.
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