scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
work has been insane and i am exhausted and full of feelings of
worthlessness and redundancy because i am of no use when it comes to
late night surgery, which they've had two of this week. i am willing
to learn but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is
ridiculous, and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i
get so ridiculous sometimes.
walking luce three miles in the morning is supposed to be helping. get
the body moving, the blood flowing, the cool clean air in my lungs,
but i'm just so tired and sad. it smells like spring and the grass is
turning green in my back yard, and everything is mud.
had a shortsleeved shirt on last weekend and my mother says to me "wow
look you're getting muscles" and it just pissed me off absurdly. i've
always had muscles. she thinks i'm this week little lump of skin and
bones because i am not active enough for her standards. she doesn't
seem to be able to comprehend how physically demanding my job is.
tired of being required to understand the limitations of others but
them not having to understand my limitations. why am i a wimp/being
silly and others not?
eyes full of tears, reaching out through the screeches on the phone
line, wishing for a hug and understanding eyes, knowing the best i can
come up with is kind words, and hoping for that.
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
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| User: "Teilhard Knight" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 11:35:07 PM |
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"elegy" <elegy@shattering.org> wrote in message
news:kekj40hr2jb9if8olrr93qadt8r9504vgq@4ax.com...
scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
work has been insane and i am exhausted and full of feelings of
worthlessness and redundancy because i am of no use when it comes to
late night surgery, which they've had two of this week. i am willing
to learn but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is
ridiculous, and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i
get so ridiculous sometimes.
walking luce three miles in the morning is supposed to be helping. get
the body moving, the blood flowing, the cool clean air in my lungs,
but i'm just so tired and sad. it smells like spring and the grass is
turning green in my back yard, and everything is mud.
had a shortsleeved shirt on last weekend and my mother says to me "wow
look you're getting muscles" and it just pissed me off absurdly. i've
always had muscles. she thinks i'm this week little lump of skin and
bones because i am not active enough for her standards. she doesn't
seem to be able to comprehend how physically demanding my job is.
tired of being required to understand the limitations of others but
them not having to understand my limitations. why am i a wimp/being
silly and others not?
eyes full of tears, reaching out through the screeches on the phone
line, wishing for a hug and understanding eyes, knowing the best i can
come up with is kind words, and hoping for that.
I am so used to feel stupid and awkward, that I do not worry very much about
it lately. After all they know that my scientific ideas are "decent" in
quality. I wouldn't have a job if it was not like that.
--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial
Change "privacy" for "softhome" if you want to intrude my inbox
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 12:40:23 PM |
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On Sat, 6 Mar 2004 23:35:07 -0600, "Teilhard Knight"
<teilhk@privacy.net> wrote:
I am so used to feel stupid and awkward, that I do not worry very much about
it lately. After all they know that my scientific ideas are "decent" in
quality. I wouldn't have a job if it was not like that.
yeah but i'm utterly replaceable. a dime a dozen.
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 08:13:50 AM |
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cared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
No!! You are not stupid and bad, maybe just overwhelmed eh? I am glad you are
close to co-workers, job sounds so tough and demanding.
I don't care what your mama thinks about your muscles or whether your little
lump of skin, I have seen your picture a long time ago and I think you are a
beauty either way.
tired of being required to understand the limitations of others but
them not having to understand my limitations. why am i a wimp/being
silly and others not?
Gawd, I know it is hard when it is a one way street. I wish I could hug you
right now, genuinely. But you are in my thoughts and I for one am one of your
biggest fans.
Rosena
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| User: "JJ9691" |
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| Title: Hey shattering .org |
06 Mar 2004 10:55:48 AM |
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I think your stuff is terrific! you are truly gifted, funny and smart, I loved
that one about dog obediance school, made me laugh and I felt better,
I don't know if it helps but I understand about your Mom, Everybody feels
like that, like they are not really being seen or appreciated for who they
are, frustrated and lonely, and lonlier around family, but you get through
it, and when all is said and done its worth it, keep going! best of luck to you
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 12:32:31 PM |
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On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 08:33:41 -0500, elegy <elegy@shattering.org>
wrote:
scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
work has been insane and i am exhausted and full of feelings of
worthlessness and redundancy because i am of no use when it comes to
late night surgery, which they've had two of this week. i am willing
to learn but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is
ridiculous, and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i
get so ridiculous sometimes.
walking luce three miles in the morning is supposed to be helping. get
the body moving, the blood flowing, the cool clean air in my lungs,
but i'm just so tired and sad. it smells like spring and the grass is
turning green in my back yard, and everything is mud.
had a shortsleeved shirt on last weekend and my mother says to me "wow
look you're getting muscles" and it just pissed me off absurdly. i've
always had muscles. she thinks i'm this week little lump of skin and
bones because i am not active enough for her standards. she doesn't
seem to be able to comprehend how physically demanding my job is.
tired of being required to understand the limitations of others but
them not having to understand my limitations. why am i a wimp/being
silly and others not?
eyes full of tears, reaching out through the screeches on the phone
line, wishing for a hug and understanding eyes, knowing the best i can
come up with is kind words, and hoping for that.
{{{{{{{{{{ Elegy }}}}}}}}}
(You definitely sound tired)
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 12:40:22 PM |
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On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 18:32:31 GMT, wombn <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net>
wrote:
{{{{{{{{{{ Elegy }}}}}}}}}
(You definitely sound tired)
thanks wombn. it's just been such a long week.
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 09:55:43 AM |
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On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 08:33:41 -0500, elegy <elegy@shattering.org> wrote:
snip
i am willing to learn
but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is ridiculous,
and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i get so
ridiculous sometimes.
snip
Sounds like every work-place I ever knew.
Whiskery Hugs {{{{{Elegy}}}}}
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 12:40:21 PM |
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On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 15:55:43 +0000, Whiskers
<catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote:
On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 08:33:41 -0500, elegy <elegy@shattering.org> wrote:
snip
i am willing to learn
but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is ridiculous,
and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i get so
ridiculous sometimes.
snip
Sounds like every work-place I ever knew.
oh to be independently wealthy and not have to work....
Whiskery Hugs {{{{{Elegy}}}}}
thanks whiskers
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 10:19:25 PM |
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elegy wrote...
scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
so sorry you're feeling awful.
(((((elegy)))))
-lisa
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 12:40:22 PM |
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On 07 Mar 2004 04:19:25 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
elegy wrote...
scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
so sorry you're feeling awful.
(((((elegy)))))
thank you lisa.
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
.
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| User: "son of the yellow river" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 07:59:37 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"elegy" <elegy@shattering.org> wrote in message
news:kekj40hr2jb9if8olrr93qadt8r9504vgq@4ax.com...
scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
work has been insane and i am exhausted and full of feelings of
worthlessness and redundancy because i am of no use when it comes to
late night surgery, which they've had two of this week. i am willing
to learn but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is
ridiculous, and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i
get so ridiculous sometimes.
work is always ridiculous. it's just a fact of life. it's not your fault.
have you read the "dilbert" comics?
walking luce three miles in the morning is supposed to be helping. get
the body moving, the blood flowing, the cool clean air in my lungs,
but i'm just so tired and sad. it smells like spring and the grass is
turning green in my back yard, and everything is mud.
i'm sure luce appreciates the walks. do you take siren for walks too?
had a shortsleeved shirt on last weekend and my mother says to me "wow
look you're getting muscles" and it just pissed me off absurdly. i've
always had muscles. she thinks i'm this week little lump of skin and
bones because i am not active enough for her standards. she doesn't
seem to be able to comprehend how physically demanding my job is.
good that you are physically strong! it is carrying siren around and
restraining luce that has given you more muscles! :)
tired of being required to understand the limitations of others but
them not having to understand my limitations. why am i a wimp/being
silly and others not?
you are not silly.
eyes full of tears, reaching out through the screeches on the phone
line, wishing for a hug and understanding eyes, knowing the best i can
come up with is kind words, and hoping for that.
((((elegy))))
.
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 12:40:18 PM |
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On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 13:59:37 GMT, "son of the yellow river"
<huangmABC@earthABClink.ABCnet> wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
"elegy" <elegy@shattering.org> wrote in message
news:kekj40hr2jb9if8olrr93qadt8r9504vgq@4ax.com...
scared and alone and overwhelmed and stupid and bad.
work has been insane and i am exhausted and full of feelings of
worthlessness and redundancy because i am of no use when it comes to
late night surgery, which they've had two of this week. i am willing
to learn but nobody has time to teach. work is stupid, management is
ridiculous, and i am too fucking attached to my coworkers to leave. i
get so ridiculous sometimes.
work is always ridiculous. it's just a fact of life. it's not your fault.
have you read the "dilbert" comics?
yeah, i know. i just wish it could border more on the hysterically
absurd instead of just really fucking annoying.
walking luce three miles in the morning is supposed to be helping. get
the body moving, the blood flowing, the cool clean air in my lungs,
but i'm just so tired and sad. it smells like spring and the grass is
turning green in my back yard, and everything is mud.
i'm sure luce appreciates the walks. do you take siren for walks too?
sometimes. she can only make it like a block though before she gets
tired. mostly she just sleeps. she's an old girl.
had a shortsleeved shirt on last weekend and my mother says to me "wow
look you're getting muscles" and it just pissed me off absurdly. i've
always had muscles. she thinks i'm this week little lump of skin and
bones because i am not active enough for her standards. she doesn't
seem to be able to comprehend how physically demanding my job is.
good that you are physically strong! it is carrying siren around and
restraining luce that has given you more muscles! :)
luce isn't so much, but at work i haul huge bags of garbage around, 50
lb bags of cat litter, restrain big idiotic dogs on a regular basis,
etc. moving a 120 pound labrador with no use of its hind end is hard
work :p
tired of being required to understand the limitations of others but
them not having to understand my limitations. why am i a wimp/being
silly and others not?
you are not silly.
eyes full of tears, reaching out through the screeches on the phone
line, wishing for a hug and understanding eyes, knowing the best i can
come up with is kind words, and hoping for that.
((((elegy))))
thanks.
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
.
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| User: "son of the yellow river" |
|
| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 01:54:34 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"elegy" <elegy@shattering.org> wrote in message
news:7qqm409hpjhsco0f54gp6i6tuvu2okvlqh@4ax.com...
luce isn't so much, but at work i haul huge bags of garbage around, 50
lb bags of cat litter, restrain big idiotic dogs on a regular basis,
etc. moving a 120 pound labrador with no use of its hind end is hard
work :p
be careful that you don't hurt your back.
.
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| User: "Naomi Darvell" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
06 Mar 2004 09:49:56 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
I'm sorry you're feeling bad, elegy.
Working in the vet's-- and the hours you do-- sounds incredibly demanding.
I've been having to medicate Poppy 3-4 x/day lately, and I don't know how
people do that kind of thing with multiple animals, day in and day out. I'm
feeling frantic with just the one. They are so vulnerable.
Naomi D.
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: feeling bad |
07 Mar 2004 12:40:20 PM |
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On 06 Mar 2004 15:49:56 GMT, (Naomi Darvell) wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
I'm sorry you're feeling bad, elegy.
Working in the vet's-- and the hours you do-- sounds incredibly demanding.
it is. i'm just tired, burnt out, etc. they're talking about going to
a 24 hour emergency clinic. dear god i hope not.
I've been having to medicate Poppy 3-4 x/day lately, and I don't know how
people do that kind of thing with multiple animals, day in and day out. I'm
feeling frantic with just the one. They are so vulnerable.
honestly, twice a day is all i can manage with my own animals. i've
had siren on three times a day meds at times and it's just.... so
hard. i have a rat right now who is supposed to get ointment in his
eyes every 2 hours. let me tell you how much that is actually
happening....
---
"and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
who's choking on the splinters" (beck)
http://shattering.org
.
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