Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be glad to
be home. But, I don't care.
It's cold. I should light the furnace. But, I don't care.
The kitchen is still a mess. I should work on the next phase.
But, I don't care.
So many posts that speak to me. I should respond. But, I don't
care.
I should unpack the suitcase and wash clothes. But, I don't care.
There's nothing to eat. I should go shopping. But, I don't care.
I need to balance the books. But, I don't care.
I should eat. But, I don't care.
I should call my daughter. But, I don't care.
I should call my folks. But, I don't care.
I just don't f'ing care. It's scary . . .
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
| User: "Alan Harding" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
26 Oct 2003 02:12:36 AM |
|
|
"Should" is the main word we depressives use to beat ourselves up. Think
around it. 'The kitchen needs work. I'll get onto it when I can.'
Break things down into lists of what you can manage as you are now. "As
you are now" is important (and difficult). You've got a list, but are
the things too big for how you feel at the present? Can you break them
down into more manageable parts?
We all change how much we can do at the time. I change from being able
to mend the shed and garage roofs or just able sit and stare at the wall
and worry about the rain getting in.
Do what you can when you can. It took me three weeks after deciding to
patch the roofs, but I eventually managed half an hour's work (in three
stages) and finished. Now I want it to rain. Of course, it looks like
being a sunny day. That's life for you!
--
Alan@harding.demon.co.uk = Alan Harding =
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
.
|
|
|
| User: "Nina" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
26 Oct 2003 01:10:54 PM |
|
|
On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 08:12:36 +0000, Alan Harding
<Alan@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote:
"Should" is the main word we depressives use to beat ourselves up. Think
around it. 'The kitchen needs work. I'll get onto it when I can.'
Break things down into lists of what you can manage as you are now. "As
you are now" is important (and difficult). You've got a list, but are
the things too big for how you feel at the present? Can you break them
down into more manageable parts?
We all change how much we can do at the time. I change from being able
to mend the shed and garage roofs or just able sit and stare at the wall
and worry about the rain getting in.
Do what you can when you can. It took me three weeks after deciding to
patch the roofs, but I eventually managed half an hour's work (in three
stages) and finished. Now I want it to rain. Of course, it looks like
being a sunny day. That's life for you!
I think that one of the hardest things is knowing when to push and
when not to. I've spent years and years working myself into helpless
anxiety about all of the things that I knew that I should do but
couldn't/wouldn't/whatever. The trouble is two things... it's hard to
tell the difference between couldn't and didn't want to, and secondly,
it's hard to tell when saying, fine, I just have to do this, will help
or only make things worse.
These days, I'm a bit better, and I can do a lot of these things, but
I see the old thought patterns, the anxiety and the procrastination
and so forth, and I have to head them off, because otherwise, I don't
do anything. And at this point, I can do these things, and I have to.
There's a whole thing here that I've never been able to articulate
properly about the thought process, the worrying at things rather than
just doing them. And I suspect that somehow that's all tied into the
same kind of effort to regiment our emotions rather than just
experiencing them, and letting them be. But I can never quite seem to
explain what I mean about this...
Nina
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Stevhan Hartwell" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 04:12:44 PM |
|
|
(sabra) wrote in
news:NDFXULVM37919.6697106482@anonymous:
Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be glad to
be home. But, I don't care.
It's cold. I should light the furnace. But, I don't care.
The kitchen is still a mess. I should work on the next phase.
But, I don't care.
So many posts that speak to me. I should respond. But, I don't
care.
I should unpack the suitcase and wash clothes. But, I don't care.
There's nothing to eat. I should go shopping. But, I don't care.
I need to balance the books. But, I don't care.
I should eat. But, I don't care.
I should call my daughter. But, I don't care.
I should call my folks. But, I don't care.
I just don't f'ing care. It's scary . . .
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
You're "should'ing" all over yourself. Is similar to sh*tting all over
yourself. But it tends to be worse. (Since when did "Should" become a
verb? I know all too well, I do it to myself. :s )
How's about giving yourself a break. Doing something self indulgent, just
for you. Forget the housework for the moment. Go have an ice cream. Go
see a movie. Go read a book, away from the house. Go for a long walk
(along the water if you live near it). Take some time and enjoy yourself
just for being you. (I'm going out to do some shooting (photos) in a few
mins just for that same reason.)
You obviously just had to take a lot of time for others, business trip.
And are feeling guilty for not taking more time for family. But you have
to take time for you too...
Stevhan
.
|
|
|
| User: "sabra" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 05:19:44 PM |
|
|
You're "should'ing" all over yourself. Is similar to sh*tting all over
yourself. But it tends to be worse.
You're right. Good insight -- I'm going to remember "shoulding =
shitting." "But it tends to be worse." Yeah.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 03:41:27 PM |
|
|
On 25 Oct 2003 20:04:23 -0000,
(sabra) wrote:
Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be glad to
be home. But, I don't care.
'k...
It's cold. I should light the furnace. But, I don't care.
Catch a cold then. We warned ya!
The kitchen is still a mess. I should work on the next phase.
But, I don't care.
Do those dishes. I just did!
So many posts that speak to me. I should respond. But, I don't
care.
Well, the dishes come first.
I should unpack the suitcase and wash clothes. But, I don't care.
You can always be slovenly... wouldn't that be loverly?
There's nothing to eat. I should go shopping. But, I don't care.
Aha! Empty tum-tum. Not good in a moody state!
I need to balance the books. But, I don't care.
Did you misplace the scale?
I should eat. But, I don't care.
Tum-tum knocking again! Feed me! Fee me!
I should call my daughter. But, I don't care.
Hm... Back burner until the food's done.
I should call my folks. But, I don't care.
Hm... Back burner #2 until back burner #1 is taken care of and the
food's done.
I just don't f'ing care. It's scary . . .
Like Halloween scary? BOO!
Awake yet? Attention? Good.
Now go do something good for yourself, eh? :^P
Tracy Barber
.
|
|
|
| User: "sabra" |
|
| Title: Damn you, Tracy! =) |
25 Oct 2003 04:45:47 PM |
|
|
Awake yet?
No.
Attention?
Yeah. I hear ya. Gotta quit lookin' at the T-shirts.
Good.
Now go do something good for yourself, eh? :^P
I'll work on it.
You made me smile. Thanks.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: Damn you, Tracy! =) |
25 Oct 2003 09:53:08 PM |
|
|
On 25 Oct 2003 21:45:47 -0000,
(sabra) wrote:
Awake yet?
No.
Attention?
Yeah. I hear ya. Gotta quit lookin' at the T-shirts.
Good.
Now go do something good for yourself, eh? :^P
I'll work on it.
You made me smile. Thanks.
Good. It worked. :^)
Tracy Barber
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 03:41:35 PM |
|
|
sabra <Anonymous-Remailer@See.Comment.Header> spake thusly:
Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be glad to
be home. But, I don't care.
It's cold. I should light the furnace. But, I don't care.
The kitchen is still a mess. I should work on the next phase.
But, I don't care.
So many posts that speak to me. I should respond. But, I don't
care.
I should unpack the suitcase and wash clothes. But, I don't care.
There's nothing to eat. I should go shopping. But, I don't care.
I need to balance the books. But, I don't care.
I should eat. But, I don't care.
I should call my daughter. But, I don't care.
I should call my folks. But, I don't care.
I just don't f'ing care. It's scary . . .
I can relate. It's so hard for me to do even the smallest tasks when I feel
that way. I wish I could tell you that I've found the solution to the
problem but sadly, I have not. When that feeling hits me I just try to hang
on and ride out the storm. I sure hope it lifts for you soon.
--
A good summary of my beliefs:
http://www.upci.org/doctrine
.
|
|
|
| User: "sabra" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 09:01:32 PM |
|
|
I can relate. It's so hard for me to do even the smallest tasks when I feel
that way. I wish I could tell you that I've found the solution to the
problem but sadly, I have not. When that feeling hits me I just try to hang
on and ride out the storm. I sure hope it lifts for you soon.
Thanks. Riding the storm. Trying mot to buy a new T-shirt.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 03:45:54 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 14:41:35 -0600, "Indigo Moon Man"
<indigomoon@bonbon.net> wrote:
sabra <Anonymous-Remailer@See.Comment.Header> spake thusly:
Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be glad to
be home. But, I don't care.
It's cold. I should light the furnace. But, I don't care.
The kitchen is still a mess. I should work on the next phase.
But, I don't care.
So many posts that speak to me. I should respond. But, I don't
care.
I should unpack the suitcase and wash clothes. But, I don't care.
There's nothing to eat. I should go shopping. But, I don't care.
I need to balance the books. But, I don't care.
I should eat. But, I don't care.
I should call my daughter. But, I don't care.
I should call my folks. But, I don't care.
I just don't f'ing care. It's scary . . .
I can relate. It's so hard for me to do even the smallest tasks when I feel
that way. I wish I could tell you that I've found the solution to the
problem but sadly, I have not. When that feeling hits me I just try to hang
on and ride out the storm. I sure hope it lifts for you soon.
Good jokes help. :^)
Tracy Barber
.
|
|
|
| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 04:06:35 PM |
|
|
Tracy Barber <Mohawky@adirondack-pc.com> spake thusly:
Good jokes help. :^)
The mechanic said, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
I said, "Just fix the damn car and stay outta my personal life."
You mean like that? :-)
--
A good summary of my beliefs:
http://www.upci.org/doctrine
.
|
|
|
| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 09:51:51 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 15:06:35 -0600, "Indigo Moon Man"
<indigomoon@bonbon.net> wrote:
Tracy Barber <Mohawky@adirondack-pc.com> spake thusly:
Good jokes help. :^)
The mechanic said, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
I said, "Just fix the damn car and stay outta my personal life."
You mean like that? :-)
YUPPERS!!!!!
Tracy Barber
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 09:59:56 PM |
|
|
sabra wrote...
Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be
glad to be home. But, I don't care.
<snip>
:-(
i understand, if that helps at all.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "sabra" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 11:14:00 PM |
|
|
i understand, if that helps at all.
It helps. Thanks.
Lisa, it's nice to see you back. I hope you're doing well.
(((((((Lisa))))))))
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 09:17:03 PM |
|
|
sabra wrote:
Home after pointles, useless business trip. I should be glad to
be home. But, I don't care.
It's cold. I should light the furnace. But, I don't care.
The kitchen is still a mess. I should work on the next phase.
But, I don't care.
So many posts that speak to me. I should respond. But, I don't
care.
I should unpack the suitcase and wash clothes. But, I don't care.
There's nothing to eat. I should go shopping. But, I don't care.
I need to balance the books. But, I don't care.
I should eat. But, I don't care.
I should call my daughter. But, I don't care.
I should call my folks. But, I don't care.
I just don't f'ing care. It's scary . . .
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Did you end up doing any of these sabra????? I feel kind of crappy myself.
.
|
|
|
| User: "sabra" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 10:09:54 PM |
|
|
I feel kind of crappy myself.
I'm sorry you feel bad. Wish I could help.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 10:23:34 PM |
|
|
sabra wrote:
I feel kind of crappy myself.
I'm sorry you feel bad. Wish I could help.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Buy me a bike and take me riding!
.
|
|
|
| User: "sabra" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 11:52:44 PM |
|
|
Buy me a bike and take me riding!
Get a "hat," I'll pick you up.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 10:37:51 PM |
|
|
On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 03:23:34 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
I feel kind of crappy myself.
I'm sorry you feel bad. Wish I could help.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Buy me a bike and take me riding!
hehehehe... Today was a bit blue for me this afternoon also.
Waiting for $ to come in from clients is a pain in the arse sometimes.
You make sure that you're on time, give them your best and then they
pay you when they feel like it. Bummed me out today. Some bills to
pay and would've liked a decent treat this weekend.
Almost canceled meeting friends at my ex-gfs house for din-din.
Wasn't much of a party-goer... Worked out OK and I wasn't miserable.
I do get along very well with my ex-gf's new beau. Made it very clear
that we're only friends now and that's it.
So, I left there a bit tired, but glad I went. We did the Mystery
Theater 3000 bit during The Matrix, which we all have seen a few times
before. Didn't he have square glasses? Nope, round ones. hehehe!
Tracy Barber
.
|
|
|
| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 10:44:52 PM |
|
|
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 03:23:34 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
I feel kind of crappy myself.
I'm sorry you feel bad. Wish I could help.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Buy me a bike and take me riding!
hehehehe... Today was a bit blue for me this afternoon also.
Waiting for $ to come in from clients is a pain in the arse sometimes.
You make sure that you're on time, give them your best and then they
pay you when they feel like it. Bummed me out today. Some bills to
pay and would've liked a decent treat this weekend.
Almost canceled meeting friends at my ex-gfs house for din-din.
Wasn't much of a party-goer... Worked out OK and I wasn't miserable.
I do get along very well with my ex-gf's new beau. Made it very clear
that we're only friends now and that's it.
So, I left there a bit tired, but glad I went. We did the Mystery
Theater 3000 bit during The Matrix, which we all have seen a few times
before. Didn't he have square glasses? Nope, round ones. hehehe!
Tracy Barber
Man I would never go to an ex's house to meet the next guy,,,,
.
|
|
|
| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling Blue |
25 Oct 2003 11:18:50 PM |
|
|
On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 03:44:52 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 03:23:34 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
I feel kind of crappy myself.
I'm sorry you feel bad. Wish I could help.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Buy me a bike and take me riding!
hehehehe... Today was a bit blue for me this afternoon also.
Waiting for $ to come in from clients is a pain in the arse sometimes.
You make sure that you're on time, give them your best and then they
pay you when they feel like it. Bummed me out today. Some bills to
pay and would've liked a decent treat this weekend.
Almost canceled meeting friends at my ex-gfs house for din-din.
Wasn't much of a party-goer... Worked out OK and I wasn't miserable.
I do get along very well with my ex-gf's new beau. Made it very clear
that we're only friends now and that's it.
So, I left there a bit tired, but glad I went. We did the Mystery
Theater 3000 bit during The Matrix, which we all have seen a few times
before. Didn't he have square glasses? Nope, round ones. hehehe!
Tracy Barber
Man I would never go to an ex's house to meet the next guy,,,,
I'm not going to ring my bell here, but that's part of "my" recovery.
Learning not to blow up bridges like that.
My ex and I are very close friends. Probably the closest either has
had in a long time. We can do just about anything together, except
live together and that "sex" thing. :^) No, we have all our working
parts, but we have gone past that.
I have to learn to be friends to her friends if I am to talk to her,
see her and go to her house. Like tonight. He bf and I don't talk
about anything in the past. That's a given.
My ex still has stuff in the place where I live. I was keeping it
because had the space and she didn't when she moved out. We separated
on good terms. She now has a house and will be getting the rest of
her stuff over time or until I move from here first.
It has been a really cool learning experience, to say the least -
without large repercussions.
I am actually friends with my ex- ex-gf, but I haven't spoken to her
in a few years. We have just drifted apart and I haven't followed up.
Anyway, I can understand where you're coming from. Especially, the
"incidents". :^)
Tracy Barber
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
