| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"breadcrumbtrail" |
| Date: |
04 Jun 2004 03:26:57 PM |
| Object: |
Feeling boring |
Hi there,
This feels kinda weird for me. I know I had depression a few years
back, but I fought so hard to get rid of it, and I only now
occasionally get glimpses of it, but this particular 'glimpse' has
been going on for some time now and I'm mainly looking to vent it in a
hope that will shift it, but also I would love and appreciate any
advice you'd be willing to give.
The subject itself says pretty much everything for itself. I feel
boring as a person. I don't feel comfortable talking, and when I do
talk, I feel I am talking about the most mundane of things.
Conversation often wears thin very quickly when I'm with people, even
people I've known for ages and ages. The person I can converse with
best out of everyone is my current girlfriend. But I get so afraid
that I wont be able to think of anything to talk about that it totally
engulfs me, and I feel so uncomfortable whenever there's a silence
that I'll try and do anything at all to break it, but I feel so awful
about doing that because it just makes me feel even more boring for
there being a silence in the first place...
Sorry, I probably didn't explain that very well... I don't consider
myself a dull person with the activities I do. I'm a University
student, I have a good set of friends, I enjoy going out, many people
consider me to be funny and a good listener, the 2 main qualities that
my girlfriend likes about me. But I feel I'm too good a listener now
that I've lost my ability to converse... There is nothing in this life
that scares me more than being boring. I want to just talk to as many
people as I possibly can, I want to interact with everyone and
everything, but I have very little confidence in myself to actually go
out and do this.
Any comments would be greatly appreciated, many thanks for your time.
John
.
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| User: "juno7" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling boring |
04 Jun 2004 09:21:01 PM |
|
|
OK i hate to say it you just need to get drunk once and loosen up. Instead
of wrestling the next 10 years worrying if you are boring you really should
just drop that notion right now, dont be boring, just be confident, and
confidence can be in silence also.
"breadcrumbtrail"
<lift_your_skinny_fists_like_antennas_to_heaven@hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:79139e0.0406041226.5596d949@posting.google.com...
Hi there,
This feels kinda weird for me. I know I had depression a few years
back, but I fought so hard to get rid of it, and I only now
occasionally get glimpses of it, but this particular 'glimpse' has
been going on for some time now and I'm mainly looking to vent it in a
hope that will shift it, but also I would love and appreciate any
advice you'd be willing to give.
The subject itself says pretty much everything for itself. I feel
boring as a person. I don't feel comfortable talking, and when I do
talk, I feel I am talking about the most mundane of things.
Conversation often wears thin very quickly when I'm with people, even
people I've known for ages and ages. The person I can converse with
best out of everyone is my current girlfriend. But I get so afraid
that I wont be able to think of anything to talk about that it totally
engulfs me, and I feel so uncomfortable whenever there's a silence
that I'll try and do anything at all to break it, but I feel so awful
about doing that because it just makes me feel even more boring for
there being a silence in the first place...
Sorry, I probably didn't explain that very well... I don't consider
myself a dull person with the activities I do. I'm a University
student, I have a good set of friends, I enjoy going out, many people
consider me to be funny and a good listener, the 2 main qualities that
my girlfriend likes about me. But I feel I'm too good a listener now
that I've lost my ability to converse... There is nothing in this life
that scares me more than being boring. I want to just talk to as many
people as I possibly can, I want to interact with everyone and
everything, but I have very little confidence in myself to actually go
out and do this.
Any comments would be greatly appreciated, many thanks for your time.
John
.
|
|
|
| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling boring |
06 Jun 2004 02:03:10 AM |
|
|
I have to disagree. Getting drunk isn't the answer (but it's a great
way to start a whole new set of problems).
I understand what it is like to feel like you are boring to listen to.
You may well be boring to listen to. In fact, you probably are boring
to listen to--at times. Everyone is. No one is interesting all the
time! (Not even me...)
So it's OK to be boring some of the time. More important than the
ability to never bore people (which, if it exists, is probably not a
practical goal anyway) are these two abilities:
1) The ability to be interesting some of the time
2) The ability to detect when you are boring someone
3) The ability to listen
4) The ability to count (which I seem to have lost somewhere).
It sounds like you have #3. You probably have #1 (because very few
people are incapable of being interesting ever). If you can manage #2,
then you'll be making progress. Once you can detect whether you are
boring someone, you have the option of either shutting up and
listening (and people do like good listeners), or changing what you
are talking about. Believe me, very few people have ability #2, and if
you can develop it, you will be ahead of the crowd!
I have difficulty engaging people in conversation. This is largely
because my interests tend not to overlap with people I meet at random
(e.g., I have no interest in sports), or because many things that
interest me are not "safe" for casual conversation because they can
engender heated feelings (politics, national security, international
relations, religion). This leaves me with daily trivia, science,
software engineering, and my family to talk about. (One of the great
things about having children is that you never lack for something to
say, but remember #2 above!). So I often say little and move on, and
that's OK, because sometimes I get into an interesting conversation
and have a lot to say.
Not all conversations need to be long and interesting. It's enough to
have occasional ones that are.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000
=====
"juno7" <NoOneYouKnew@Never.com> wrote in message
news:h6awc.4609$AU1.3392@nwrddc01.gnilink.net...
OK i hate to say it you just need to get drunk once and loosen up.
Instead
of wrestling the next 10 years worrying if you are boring you really
should
just drop that notion right now, dont be boring, just be confident,
and
confidence can be in silence also.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "JPT" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling boring |
04 Jun 2004 09:46:15 PM |
|
|
On 4 Jun 2004 13:26:57 -0700,
lift_your_skinny_fists_like_antennas_to_heaven@hotmail.com
(breadcrumbtrail) wrote:
Hi there,
This feels kinda weird for me. I know I had depression a few years
back, but I fought so hard to get rid of it, and I only now
occasionally get glimpses of it, but this particular 'glimpse' has
been going on for some time now and I'm mainly looking to vent it in a
hope that will shift it, but also I would love and appreciate any
advice you'd be willing to give.
The subject itself says pretty much everything for itself. I feel
boring as a person. I don't feel comfortable talking, and when I do
talk, I feel I am talking about the most mundane of things.
Conversation often wears thin very quickly when I'm with people, even
people I've known for ages and ages. The person I can converse with
best out of everyone is my current girlfriend. But I get so afraid
that I wont be able to think of anything to talk about that it totally
engulfs me, and I feel so uncomfortable whenever there's a silence
that I'll try and do anything at all to break it, but I feel so awful
about doing that because it just makes me feel even more boring for
there being a silence in the first place...
Sorry, I probably didn't explain that very well... I don't consider
myself a dull person with the activities I do. I'm a University
student, I have a good set of friends, I enjoy going out, many people
consider me to be funny and a good listener, the 2 main qualities that
my girlfriend likes about me. But I feel I'm too good a listener now
that I've lost my ability to converse... There is nothing in this life
that scares me more than being boring. I want to just talk to as many
people as I possibly can, I want to interact with everyone and
everything, but I have very little confidence in myself to actually go
out and do this.
Any comments would be greatly appreciated, many thanks for your time.
If I knew the answer, I would share it with you. I hope that you can
figure it out.
--
"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way"
.
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|
| User: "Contrarian" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling boring |
08 Jun 2004 03:44:57 AM |
|
|
breadcrumbtrail <lift_your_skinny_fists_like_antennas_to_heaven@hotmail.com> wrote:
This feels kinda weird for me. I know I had depression a few years
back, but I fought so hard to get rid of it, and I only now
occasionally get glimpses of it, but this particular 'glimpse' has
been going on for some time now and I'm mainly looking to vent it in a
hope that will shift it, but also I would love and appreciate any
advice you'd be willing to give.
A good and entirely non-boring beginning to your post. I
don't have "glimpses" I just realize that I have been doing
nothing for umm, 24 240 hours .... I could use some forewarning.
Any amplification about what you call a "glimpse" would be welcome.
that I've lost my ability to converse... There is nothing in this life
that scares me more than being boring
If ppl arent' finding you boring, or saying "what's with you" need
you worry? I just read over a weekend visit one of Helen Hayes'
autobiographical books, and she relates how one of her scenes
didn't get the applause it had usually gotten, and worried about
it until another more experienced actress told her not to think
about the audience's reaction, or that the lines were supposed to
be funny, but to play it seriously (from the character's perspective)
the way she had done at first. The laughs came back.
This is the merest suggestion, take it or leave it entirely as
you please.
Or are you saying that this unwanted attention to your self-presentation
is one of your glimpses?
I want to just talk to as many
people as I possibly can, I want to interact with everyone and
everything
Rather a large undertaking :-)
OTOH it is a very GOOD STRATEGY (tm) for success in a number of careers.
.
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