| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Flashfire" |
| Date: |
23 Jan 2004 03:03:11 PM |
| Object: |
Feeling sick |
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She tells
me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son had another
fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another city far away, to get
away from her and thier baby.
He has also told her how much he hates me. How much he resents me and how he
feels like I abandoned him. She says he doesnt want to have anything to do
with me...and I feel so sick at heart. I am falling apart.
You might say why do I believe the ex and not my son. Because I have not
heard from my son. I cannot contact him. At Christmas I sent him a mobile
phone, so we can stay in touch. He has it switched off all the time.
I have tried and tried, I have sent him txt messages begging him to ring
me...I have left messages on his voice mail.but I don't hear from him.I dont
know what to do. I am falling apart. He is my son, my only child I love him
with all my heart and he hates me....
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Deminimii" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 03:30:09 PM |
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Subject: Feeling sick
From: "Flashfire"
Date: 1/23/2004 1:03 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id: <bus22s$l2i0m$1@ID-197675.news.uni-berlin.de>
[snip]
You are jumping to all sorts of negative conclusions based on no facts or
suspicious ones at best. I don't know why this women wd tell you these things.
I am even more puzzled by the fact you would believe them to be true based on
the fact that you can't get a hold of your son when you always have trouble
getting ahold of him. It means nothing. Personally, I hate phone calls and
refuse to have a cell phone.
Even if it were all true, who hasn't said 'I hate you' in anger? It doens't
mean a whole lot.
It's all going to get straightened out, Lee. At the moment, you have to have
patience and trust that things will work themselves out.
p.s. Is there a reason why the ex and your grandchild can't still move to be
near you? [Assuming that is what you want.]
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 01:57:18 AM |
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Deminimii wrote:
Subject: Feeling sick
From: "Flashfire"
Date: 1/23/2004 1:03 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id: <bus22s$l2i0m$1@ID-197675.news.uni-berlin.de>
[snip]
You are jumping to all sorts of negative conclusions based on no
facts or suspicious ones at best.
Negative conclusions maybe, but based in fact. My son and I have been this
road before. He runs around telling all and sundry he hates me and I have
ruined his life. Then when I confront him I am told its all lies and he
never said anything like it. But he has said it too many times, the only
person he does not say it to is me.
I don't know why this women wd tell
you these things. I am even more puzzled by the fact you would
believe them to be true based
I guess she talks to me, because she cannot talk to anyone else and we do
have a common ground, my son.
on the fact that you can't get a hold
of your son when you always have trouble getting ahold of him.
Trouble is I thought I had fixed that problem, I bought him the mobile
phone, as he does not have a house phone. I also pay his bills, the deal
being he keeps the phone available for when I need to ring him and vice
versa, but he loses his temper for whatever reason, the first thing he does
is switch the phone off.
Even if it were all true, who hasn't said 'I hate you' in anger? It
doens't mean a whole lot.
Once maybe, twice maybe. But he says it all the time, but to everyone but
me. To my face he is as nice as pie. He knows I will do anything for him, so
he plays on that. I mean to say, if he ever was honest enough to tell me
what he really thought, then I might cut off the money supply.
It's all going to get straightened out, Lee. At the moment, you have
to have patience and trust that things will work themselves out.
It will and has, I wrote him a letter, and calmly told him that its time he
faced facts and the truth of his feelings, that if he hates me so much then
to be a man, stand on his own two feet and stop using me.
p.s. Is there a reason why the ex and your grandchild can't still
move to be near you? [Assuming that is what you want.]
No reason at all, and it is what I want, but it has to be thier choice not
mine.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 02:12:12 AM |
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Flashfire wrote:
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She
tells me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son
had another fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another
city far away, to get away from her and thier baby.
He has also told her how much he hates me. How much he resents me and
how he feels like I abandoned him. She says he doesnt want to have
anything to do with me...and I feel so sick at heart. I am falling
apart.
You might say why do I believe the ex and not my son. Because I have
not heard from my son. I cannot contact him. At Christmas I sent him
a mobile phone, so we can stay in touch. He has it switched off all
the time. I have tried and tried, I have sent him txt messages
begging him to ring me...I have left messages on his voice mail.but I
don't hear from him.I dont know what to do. I am falling apart. He is
my son, my only child I love him with all my heart and he hates me....
Thankyou everyone for your replies it seriously helped me put things into
perspective. And in my deep sorrow and pain, I threw myself into
housepainting, only have two rooms to go and the whole house interior is
finished. But am I tired today....:)
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 09:28:06 AM |
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Flashfire wrote:
Flashfire wrote:
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She
tells me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son
had another fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another
city far away, to get away from her and thier baby.
He has also told her how much he hates me. How much he resents me and
how he feels like I abandoned him. She says he doesnt want to have
anything to do with me...and I feel so sick at heart. I am falling
apart.
You might say why do I believe the ex and not my son. Because I have
not heard from my son. I cannot contact him. At Christmas I sent him
a mobile phone, so we can stay in touch. He has it switched off all
the time. I have tried and tried, I have sent him txt messages
begging him to ring me...I have left messages on his voice mail.but I
don't hear from him.I dont know what to do. I am falling apart. He is
my son, my only child I love him with all my heart and he hates me....
Thankyou everyone for your replies it seriously helped me put things into
perspective. And in my deep sorrow and pain, I threw myself into
housepainting, only have two rooms to go and the whole house interior is
finished. But am I tired today....:)
looking for some way to forgive yourself...hmmmm
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| User: "popejed" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 03:14:26 PM |
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Flashfire wrote:
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She tells
me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son had another
fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another city far away, to get
away from her and thier baby.
That's because your dingo ate their last baby. ;^)
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 03:31:04 PM |
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"popejed" <popejed@HisHolyHouse.com> wrote in message
news:S8gQb.230$La5.143@nwrdny01.gnilink.net...
Flashfire wrote:
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She
tells
me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son had
another
fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another city far away, to
get
away from her and thier baby.
That's because your dingo ate their last baby. ;^)
so ... spit it out , stupid
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| User: "Jamal Chapultapec" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 06:32:23 PM |
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I can't really say I blame your son for hating you.
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| User: "BGumm" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 08:20:00 PM |
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I wouldn't take the word of the ex who is mad at your son right now. She might
say anything to hurt you and whoever she can that is related to her ex. This
happens all the time. Totally immature but hey some folks can't be happy
unless those around them are miserable.
If you had problems with your son before the most you can do if he will not
accept your calls or return them is to wait it out.
I went through this too a few years back. It was my stepson and I can tell you
now that our relationship was pure hell BUT he came back to me and the family
fold when he realized how much mothers (even stepmothers) and fathers and
family really mean when you are feeling down and out.
He has to do things in his own time.
I know this hurts you---been there and done that too but I guarantee you he
will at some point contact you and come back around. They have to go off on
their own and sort things out on their own before they realize that sometimes
what they need is back where they left off.
It seems to me that no matter what, children love their parents. There
eventually is that bond and need to be apart of that parent's life again.
Keep the hope and give it time and don't listen to this woman anymore until you
hear it straight from your son's own mouth.
Becky
"I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild;
when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and
moody. And in all its moods, I see myself."
-Martin Buxbaum
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 02:08:14 AM |
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BGumm wrote:
I wouldn't take the word of the ex who is mad at your son right now.
She might say anything to hurt you and whoever she can that is
related to her ex. This happens all the time. Totally immature but
hey some folks can't be happy unless those around them are miserable.
Ordinarily I would agree, but I have had this kind of thing from
others....there could be an element of she is hurting therefore hurting me
is a way at hurting him. But it is he who has cut off contact which is what
he does every time he is ***** with someone else.
If you had problems with your son before the most you can do if he
will not accept your calls or return them is to wait it out.
Yep thats what I am doing now, calmed down and looked at it clearly. He will
do what he wants and nothing I can do with change it. He has to make his
choices and eventually realise that my life does not revolve around him and
he has to learn to be honest about his feelings as I have learned to be
honest about mine.
I went through this too a few years back. It was my stepson and I
can tell you now that our relationship was pure hell BUT he came back
to me and the family fold when he realized how much mothers (even
stepmothers) and fathers and family really mean when you are feeling
down and out.
I am glad you had a happy ending.
He has to do things in his own time.
I know that now, that I have had time to think and rationalise..
Keep the hope and give it time and don't listen to this > > woman anymore
until you hear it straight from your son's own mouth.
I would agree except he tells lies and will deny anything to make himself
look good. He has done it too many times before. But I have decided that
next time she rings I am going to ask her not to speak of my son. She is the
mother of my grandson and I would be much more interested if she talked
about him.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
24 Jan 2004 12:15:47 PM |
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Jamal Chapultapec wrote:
I can't really say I blame your son for hating you.
for once i'd have to agree with your sorry *****?
what a drag....
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| User: "Lynda" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 03:56:17 PM |
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Lee
i am so sorry to hear all this about your son.....i didn't care for my
mother for a long time now we have made peace and its nice to have her
back in my life....just give it time i am sure things will work
out....but what i don't understand is maybe he don't care for his
girlfriend anymore but how can he want to get away from his
child.....Lynda
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 01:59:20 AM |
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Lynda wrote:
Lee
i am so sorry to hear all this about your son.....i didn't care for my
mother for a long time now we have made peace and its nice to have her
back in my life....just give it time i am sure things will work
out....but what i don't understand is maybe he don't care for his
girlfriend anymore but how can he want to get away from his
child.....Lynda
I know the feeling, and I guess that is where I have made the rod for my own
back. I hate my own mother and I bent over backwards to make my son's life
everything mine was not and all I have done is create an ungrateful selfish
man who only cares about himself and what people can give him.
There I have said it at last. My son is a ***** and I made him that way.
:)
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Gayle" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 07:25:37 AM |
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Flashfire wrote:
I know the feeling, and I guess that is where I have made the rod for my own
back. I hate my own mother and I bent over backwards to make my son's life
everything mine was not and all I have done is create an ungrateful selfish
man who only cares about himself and what people can give him.
There I have said it at last. My son is a ***** and I made him that way.
:)
It's good to see you posting again, Lee ... and, lordy, no one can inflict
quite the same level of pain as one's own child, eh? And I have to respectfully
disagree that you 'made him that way'. While your mum had a lot of influence on
who you are, you also made a lot of your own choices that resulted in the 'you'
that is you. (And a fine person you seem to be, toots. imo) He makes choices,
too. You didn't make him a liar --- he chose to lie. You didn't make him
selfish --- he chose that.
He's still young though, imo, not fully cooked yet. You can still teach him how
to treat you, or at least you can teach him that you won't cooperate in his
abuse of you. I think it's possible to love a child unconditionally but to
still maintain standards of the treatment you will accept and the treatment you
won't. Then it's his choice about whether to accept your love --- or to hold
himself apart from it. While it would be painfully tragic if he chooses to act
the *****, I'm not sure what you could do except to protect the love you have
for him instead of letting him crap on it. Then at least, the light of your
love would still be there for him if he chooses to honor it.
Anyways ... thinking of you, lady, and wishing for a loving resolution to this.
Gayle
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
24 Jan 2004 03:47:42 AM |
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Oh Lee,
How old is your son? Do you have money to go to where he is and have a face to
face good talk?
I know how this must hurt, but you know children go through stages with
parent-hating . . . you have to make contact somehow.
Please do not kick yourself no matter what.
Best
Rosena
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 02:10:42 AM |
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Trishamolson wrote:
Oh Lee,
How old is your son? Do you have money to go to where he is and have
a face to face good talk?
23, and I have the money but last time he put me through one of these
episodes I did exactly that, trouble is even face to face he will not talk
to me. He feels that its none of my business what is going on in his life
and he is right, but I only want to know how he is and how he is feeling.
Because even though he can be an absolute ***** I love him dearly.
I know how this must hurt, but you know children go through stages
with parent-hating . . . you have to make contact somehow.
I wrote him a letter, I feel better now.\
Please do not kick yourself no matter what.
Ohhh I stopped that yesterday...:)
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
23 Jan 2004 06:03:23 PM |
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On Sat, 24 Jan 2004 07:03:11 +1000, "Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au>
wrote:
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night.
snip
I think I have to agree with Deminimii on this one (Shock!). I'm a son
who let his mother go for months without any contact - it just never
occured to me :((. It didn't mean anything, except that I was a fairly
typically thoughtless bloke.
I'd certainly take a fair bit of salt with anything reported to me by his
ex.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 02:00:52 AM |
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Whiskers wrote:
On Sat, 24 Jan 2004 07:03:11 +1000, "Flashfire"
<flashfire@iprimus.com.au> wrote:
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night.
snip
I think I have to agree with Deminimii on this one (Shock!). I'm a
son who let his mother go for months without any contact - it just
never occured to me :((. It didn't mean anything, except that I was
a fairly typically thoughtless bloke.
I'd certainly take a fair bit of salt with anything reported to me by
his ex.
If it was typical thoughtlessness I could accept it, but it is quite
deliberate, the only time I hear from him is when he wants something and
when I ring him, I get fobbed off with a host of excuses why he cannot talk
to me. But I am expected to drop everything and come a running whenever he
is in trouble.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
27 Jan 2004 01:59:24 PM |
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On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 18:00:52 +1000, "Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au>
wrote:
snip
But I am expected to drop everything and come a running whenever he is
in trouble.
Then he needs to 'cut the apron strings' - or you do. I know that's tough :((
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
29 Jan 2004 02:18:13 AM |
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You are so right, but I have done everything to give him the freedom to go
his own way, ever since he was 16 years old. When he demanded that I treat
him as a man and respect him as an adult. I do not tie him to me, he does
that himself and then blames me for it.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
"Whiskers" <catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2004.01.27.19.59.24.176020@ID-107770.user.uni-berlin.de...
On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 18:00:52 +1000, "Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au>
wrote:
snip
But I am expected to drop everything and come a running whenever he is
in trouble.
Then he needs to 'cut the apron strings' - or you do. I know that's tough
:((
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
30 Jan 2004 02:41:51 PM |
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On Thu, 29 Jan 2004 18:18:13 +1000, "Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au>
wrote:
You are so right, but I have done everything to give him the freedom to go
his own way, ever since he was 16 years old. When he demanded that I treat
him as a man and respect him as an adult. I do not tie him to me, he does
that himself and then blames me for it.
Perhaps that's what you get for being a good parent?
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
31 Jan 2004 03:29:25 PM |
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Whiskers wrote:
On Thu, 29 Jan 2004 18:18:13 +1000, "Flashfire"
<flashfire@iprimus.com.au> wrote:
You are so right, but I have done everything to give him the freedom
to go his own way, ever since he was 16 years old. When he demanded
that I treat him as a man and respect him as an adult. I do not tie
him to me, he does that himself and then blames me for it.
Perhaps that's what you get for being a good parent?
No I think thats what you get for being a parent full stop. I have not been
a good parent, but then by the same token I have not been a bad parent
either. But I thought there was love and understanding between us, and it
hurts to find out that the relationship is one sided. I guess I have to face
up to his personality quirks and realise that what I find important in
relationships, trust, honesty, unconditional love. He does not.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
01 Feb 2004 11:40:35 AM |
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On Sun, 01 Feb 2004 07:29:25 +1000, "Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au>
wrote:
snip
I guess I
have to face up to his personality quirks and realise that what I find
important in relationships, trust, honesty, unconditional love. He does
not.
:((( Perhaps he'll mature.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
02 Feb 2004 02:58:33 AM |
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Whiskers wrote:
On Sun, 01 Feb 2004 07:29:25 +1000, "Flashfire"
<flashfire@iprimus.com.au> wrote:
snip
I guess I
have to face up to his personality quirks and realise that what I
find important in relationships, trust, honesty, unconditional
love. He does not.
:((( Perhaps he'll mature.
I live in hope. Still have not heard from him. No phone calls, no answers to
my letter, nothing. <sigh>
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
24 Jan 2004 12:08:25 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
news:bus22s$l2i0m$1@ID-197675.news.uni-berlin.de...
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She tells
me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son had another
fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another city far away, to
get
away from her and thier baby.
He has also told her how much he hates me. How much he resents me and how
he
feels like I abandoned him. She says he doesnt want to have anything to do
with me...and I feel so sick at heart. I am falling apart.
You might say why do I believe the ex and not my son. Because I have not
heard from my son. I cannot contact him. At Christmas I sent him a mobile
phone, so we can stay in touch. He has it switched off all the time.
I have tried and tried, I have sent him txt messages begging him to ring
me...I have left messages on his voice mail.but I don't hear from him.I
dont
know what to do. I am falling apart. He is my son, my only child I love
him
with all my heart and he hates me....
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
My heart is breaking for you. This is a terribly sad situation. It seems
to me you have done all you can to make amends and the time has come to let
him go. The proverbial "they" say that sometimes the time comes when we
have to give to ourselves that which we cannot get from others. You have to
give yourself the forgiveness and the love that you cannot get from your
son. You did the best you could with what you knew. Now that you know
better you can do better but if he won't allow you the opportunity to try,
then do it for yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes. Love yourself
for trying. Remind yourself that you were a different person then and a
better person now, and you are worthy of love and acceptance. Give yourself
absolution, tuck what love and hope you have for his return away in a safe
place should you need it in the future, let go of the guilt, praise yourself
for the fact that you have worked so hard to make things right again, and
understand, really understand, that the current problem, this impasse, is
his to own, not yours. This is his choice, not your failing, and you are no
longer responsible for the reactions of a grown man. Perhaps nurturing a
relationship with his ex and your grandchild can act as something of a
substitute at this point. Do for the child what you couldn't do for him.
It would be wonderful if he sees the "light" for lack of a better word, and
resolves his issues before it's too late, and I truly hope he does, but if
he doesn't, remind yourself that you have no control over that, and love who
you are in spite of it. I share your sorrow and will keep you in my
thoughts.
--
Rhiannon
rhiannon_@rogers.com
(rhiannon underscore at rogers dot com)
The Labyrinth of the Divine Miss Rhiannon
a.k.a. The Wondrous One
"The strongest man in the world is he who
stands most alone."
--Henrik Ibsen
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
25 Jan 2004 08:44:14 PM |
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Rhiannon thank you so much for your kind words. You are so right and I know
it. I cannot write more. Emotionally its to much. But thankyou from the
bottom of my heart.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
"Rhiannon" <rhiannon_@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:twyQb.120395$nl2.74466@news01.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com...
x-no-archive: yes
"Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
news:bus22s$l2i0m$1@ID-197675.news.uni-berlin.de...
I got another phone call from my son's ex girlfriend last night. She
tells
me that they are not coming to visit after all. She and my son had
another
fight. He has decided that he wants to move to another city far away, to
get
away from her and thier baby.
He has also told her how much he hates me. How much he resents me and
how
he
feels like I abandoned him. She says he doesnt want to have anything to
do
with me...and I feel so sick at heart. I am falling apart.
You might say why do I believe the ex and not my son. Because I have not
heard from my son. I cannot contact him. At Christmas I sent him a
mobile
phone, so we can stay in touch. He has it switched off all the time.
I have tried and tried, I have sent him txt messages begging him to
ring
me...I have left messages on his voice mail.but I don't hear from him.I
dont
know what to do. I am falling apart. He is my son, my only child I love
him
with all my heart and he hates me....
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
My heart is breaking for you. This is a terribly sad situation. It seems
to me you have done all you can to make amends and the time has come to
let
him go. The proverbial "they" say that sometimes the time comes when we
have to give to ourselves that which we cannot get from others. You have
to
give yourself the forgiveness and the love that you cannot get from your
son. You did the best you could with what you knew. Now that you know
better you can do better but if he won't allow you the opportunity to try,
then do it for yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes. Love
yourself
for trying. Remind yourself that you were a different person then and a
better person now, and you are worthy of love and acceptance. Give
yourself
absolution, tuck what love and hope you have for his return away in a safe
place should you need it in the future, let go of the guilt, praise
yourself
for the fact that you have worked so hard to make things right again, and
understand, really understand, that the current problem, this impasse, is
his to own, not yours. This is his choice, not your failing, and you are
no
longer responsible for the reactions of a grown man. Perhaps nurturing a
relationship with his ex and your grandchild can act as something of a
substitute at this point. Do for the child what you couldn't do for him.
It would be wonderful if he sees the "light" for lack of a better word,
and
resolves his issues before it's too late, and I truly hope he does, but if
he doesn't, remind yourself that you have no control over that, and love
who
you are in spite of it. I share your sorrow and will keep you in my
thoughts.
--
Rhiannon
rhiannon_@rogers.com
(rhiannon underscore at rogers dot com)
The Labyrinth of the Divine Miss Rhiannon
a.k.a. The Wondrous One
"The strongest man in the world is he who
stands most alone."
--Henrik Ibsen
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
|
| Title: Re: Feeling sick |
26 Jan 2004 07:59:08 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"Flashfire" <flashfire@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
news:bv1uu8$n7f7l$1@ID-197675.news.uni-berlin.de...
Rhiannon thank you so much for your kind words. You are so right and I
know
it. I cannot write more. Emotionally its to much. But thankyou from the
bottom of my heart.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
((((((((((Lee))))))))))
You can email me if need be.
--
Rhiannon
rhiannon_@rogers.com
(rhiannon underscore at rogers dot com)
The Labyrinth of the Divine Miss Rhiannon
a.k.a. The Wondrous One
"No passion so effectually robs the mind of all
its powers of acting and reason as fear."
--Edmund Burke
---
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