I had my first visit today with my new therapist. My first
impression of him wasn't too favorable, but I'll give it a
few weeks. I did tell him what I didn't like about the last
person and what I'm looking for, and he seems to feel that
he can help me.

The biggest thing that came out of today is that he wants
me back on my meds. Or on different meds maybe, but
on something at least. So I now have a meds appt set up
for next week. I hated the meds doc before, but this guy
assures me that even though he's not much of a people
person, he's the best around at med management.

So I came home with the feeling that I really need to start
up an exercise regimen. The friend I used to run with moved
away, and I've done nothing for the past couple of years,
so I need to start slow. I thought about another friend who
was walking with another acquaintance of mine. It occurred
to me that if they were still doing that, maybe I could join
them, and if not, maybe she would want a new walking
partner. Of course in my head it immediately went from
idea to plan to certainty, so when I got home and called her
and she told me that she had no interest in walking anymore
now that she had joined a gym, I was devastated. Luckily
for me she had someone over and had to get off the phone
right away, so I was able to pull off "bright and cheerful"
until we hung up and then I immediately started bawling.

I know it's stupid to get so upset over something so trivial,
but....well, I don't know what else to do. All attempts to
exercise on my own have failed, my hubby won't do anything
with me, and there is no one else I can even think of to start
anything with.

Typical me -- blow up the little things until they assume
immense importance.