Sounds like a bunch of anecdotal stories strung together to pressure
parents to invade their kids' private communications online.

The presentation of various agendas pertaining to parents/kids here on the
internet is not uncommon. Perhaps a reasonable test of objectivity would be
whether the person posting objects to any middle ground or any other
intelligent opinion.

Most definitely willful ignorance. Glaringly obvious.

In alt.abuse.recovery windswept <windswept@asarian-host.net> wrote:

I think everyone probably has a bully in them somewhere - most of the

who indulge it on line are good people who just let that out and I don't
think they realize the extent of what they are doing because of the fact
that its a faceless and therefore often feelingless medium. I hope there

more publicity regarding it. Its an awful experience both being either

target and the perpetrator. I don't think anyone can honestly say they

good about inflicting pain on someone - but again - the problem with

media is that you cannot see the pain. So it gets out of control.

I think we just need to realize that in the final analysis, it's just
little zeros and ones, and the off switch is within reach anytime we need
a vacation from being insulted.

In a medium where any idea can instantly be heckled with 10 times the
bandwidth used to express it, thinking you are going to prevail against
your critics and "win" is a meaningless concept.

The real thing these kids need to learn is the art of leaving the computer
when it stops being fun.

at your enemies is a really bad strategic model

--
Eric Michael Cordian 0+
O:.T:.O:. Mathematical Munitions Division
"Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law"

X-No-Archive: Yes

"windswept" <windswept@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:b8a529c39e686.ebd9d28388b7a5bbb367@asarian-host.net...

It goes on in every age group pretty much in the same manner. It just

easy in this medium. A group finds a target and loses their compassion

and

good sense.

I found this to be interesting and true:

"But the safety of a computer screen can embolden even those who are
otherwise meek, he said. In fact, many cyber bullies are former victims

who

use the computer to turn the tables on their tormentors."What makes

bullying more insidious," Feinberg said, "is that it can be, by and

anonymous."

I think everyone probably has a bully in them somewhere - most of the

people

who indulge it on line are good people who just let that out and I don't
think they realize the extent of what they are doing because of the fact
that its a faceless and therefore often feelingless medium. I hope there

is

more publicity regarding it. Its an awful experience both being either

the

target and the perpetrator. I don't think anyone can honestly say they

feel

good about inflicting pain on someone - but again - the problem with

media is that you cannot see the pain. So it gets out of control.

I disagree. I think that there is this misconception in a lot of people
that online life is separate from real life. I think there is a tendency

lean towards "anything goes" because there are no "consequences", whereas
in real life, there would be consequences and accountability. I think

there needs to be an "owning of words" put on the net, a "personalising"

what is said.

I disagree. I think that there is this misconception in a lot of people
that online life is separate from real life. I think there is a tendency to
lean towards "anything goes" because there are no "consequences", whereas
in real life, there would be consequences and accountability. I think that
there needs to be an "owning of words" put on the net, a "personalising" of
what is said.

X-No-Archive: Yes

"windswept" <windswept@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:b8a529c39e686.ebd9d28388b7a5bbb367@asarian-host.net...

It goes on in every age group pretty much in the same manner. It just so
easy in this medium. A group finds a target and loses their compassion

and

good sense.

I found this to be interesting and true:

"But the safety of a computer screen can embolden even those who are
otherwise meek, he said. In fact, many cyber bullies are former victims

who

use the computer to turn the tables on their tormentors."What makes cyber
bullying more insidious," Feinberg said, "is that it can be, by and large,
anonymous."

I think everyone probably has a bully in them somewhere - most of the

people

who indulge it on line are good people who just let that out and I don't
think they realize the extent of what they are doing because of the fact
that its a faceless and therefore often feelingless medium. I hope there

is

more publicity regarding it. Its an awful experience both being either

the

target and the perpetrator. I don't think anyone can honestly say they

feel

good about inflicting pain on someone - but again - the problem with this
media is that you cannot see the pain. So it gets out of control.

I disagree. I think that there is this misconception in a lot of people
that online life is separate from real life. I think there is a tendency to
lean towards "anything goes" because there are no "consequences", whereas
in real life, there would be consequences and accountability. I think that
there needs to be an "owning of words" put on the net, a "personalising" of
what is said.

"BroJack" <windswept@home.net> wrote in message
news:41d8a6b2.49367835@news-60.giganews.com...

http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/front/10545779.htm?1c
Posted on Sun, Jan. 02, 2005

High-tech harassment is hitting teens hard

Bullying is nothing new, but it takes on a new and ominous tone in
cyberspace. Adults are catching on.

By Leslie A. Pappas

Inquirer Staff Writer

Only after Ryan Halligan hanged himself did his father realize what
the 13-year-old had been doing online.

Through three months' worth of links and instant messages saved on his
home computer, Ryan's growing pain - and the callousness of his online
tormentors - became clear.

"You're a loser," one message jabbed. There were other taunts, Web
searches on suicide, and, ultimately, threats to kill himself to get
back at school bullies.

"Tonight's the night," Ryan finally typed.

"It's about time," the screen replied.

Bullying has been around forever, but modern technologies have both
broadened its venues and cloaked its practitioners.

Instant messaging, Web journals, cell phones and e-mail let bullies
chase victims into their homes, mock them anonymously, or slander them
schoolwide with a single mouse click.

There are few solid statistics about cyber bullying, but experts agree
that it is spreading.

"Cyber bullying is so new, people don't have a clue," said Bill
Belsey, who runs a Canadian Web site called cyberbullying.ca. Belsey
first heard of cyber bullying a few years ago in Asia and Scandinavia,
where mobile technologies were more advanced.

Since then, reports have spread, taking on new forms as technology
grows. Lagging behind are adults, who struggle to comprehend the
problem, let alone combat it.

Many parents focus on dangers from sexual predators and pornography
yet remain oblivious to much of their children's online world.
Educators, meanwhile, scramble to block elusive online threats before
they slip onto school grounds.

In Ryan's case, it was school problems that followed him home through
instant messages, deepening the bullying that had started during the
day. Ryan latched on to the idea of killing himself as vengeance
against those who had hurt him.

"He was on a mission to just make these kids feel bad," said his
father, John Halligan.

The father, though well-versed in technology, had no clue until it was
too late.

An IBM manager who built his own computers, Halligan, of Essex
Junction, Vt., thought he knew the risks of letting his son have a
computer in his bedroom. His ground rules were clear: no talking to
strangers, no sharing of passwords or personal information.

After Ryan's death on Oct. 7, 2003, Halligan logged on at his son's
computer and discovered a world he never knew existed.

Students with multiple screen names had left torrid messages that
Halligan struggled to decipher. Clicking on his son's saved Web links
led to online journals where sixth- and seventh-grade girls bragged of
sexual conquests. Other Web logs skewered classmates by exposing
intimate secrets culled from private cyber chats.

"These kids thought they had their own little private world and it was
their own playground where they could do whatever they wanted,"
Halligan said. "The problem is not just about pedophiles and
strangers, but how [youths are] treating each other."

Ted Feinberg, assistant executive director of the National Association
of School Psychologists in Bethesda, Md., said the goals of a cyber
bully differ little from those of the traditional, in-your-face bully:
"to torment, to intimidate, to frighten, to disparage."

But the safety of a computer screen can embolden even those who are
otherwise meek, he said. In fact, many cyber bullies are former
victims who use the computer to turn the tables on their tormentors.
"What makes cyber bullying more insidious," Feinberg said, "is that it
can be, by and large, anonymous. You don't know where the messages are
coming from."

Such was the case last month for a 15-year-old in Delaware County,
who, for safety reasons, didn't want her name or school identified.
Shortly after she switched from a private to a public school, her
parents received an unsigned e-mail from a newly created Yahoo!
account called [your_daughter]_is_headed_for_trouble.

"Your daughter... bragged about drinking and how she can ***** around
now that she's a public school girl... Maybe you can spend the tuition
you saved on therapy," the e-mail said.

"It just made us sick," the girl's mother said. "It was basically just
like throwing a bomb."

A school investigation turned up nothing. "This could have come from
anybody, anywhere," a school official told the girl's mother in an
e-mail.

"It made me feel incredibly attacked," said the girl, who suspects a
former classmate who had picked on her. "It was so incredibly untrue."

Defaming messages also pop up on the Web, often on free online teen
journals or blogging sites.

Earlier this month at Titus Elementary School in Warrington, Bucks
County, sixth graders listened intently to a story about Alex, a teen
in the county whose classmates created a Web site titled simply
"Reasons to Hate Alex."

Mary Worthington of the Network of Victim Assistance in Bucks County
said Alex agreed to share the story as part of a new cyber bully
training program, which was created for schools to meet a growing
demand.

Schools struggle with the issue because much of the Internet activity
that creates problems at school begins at home.

"I would encourage parents to be as close to Perry Mason as they can,"
said Linda Sember, assistant principal at Beverly Hills Middle School
in Upper Darby, Delaware County, who has responded to several cyber
bullying incidents over the last year, including one death threat that
prompted the school to summon police.

But many parents don't, or won't, pay enough attention, said Rachel
Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in
Girls. As a result, the Internet - like lunchrooms, rest rooms and bus
stops - has become an unsupervised place where bullies can rule.

Parents "often use their ignorance of technology to excuse themselves
for not knowing what their children are doing when they're online,"
Simmons said. "What happens as a result of that attitude is that kids
have appropriated the Internet as this place that belongs to them -
with their own rules, their own language, their own justice."

Nancy Willard, executive director of the Center for Safe and
Responsible Internet Use, based in Eugene, Ore., agrees.

"The gap between parental understanding of what is going on online and
what children report is significant in every study," Willard said.
"Kids aren't telling their parents about what's happening online, and
parents aren't making it their business to find out."

Maria Burdsall, a mother of three boys in Warrington Township, is one
exception. She uses parental software to monitor her children's online
activity, frequently checking what sites they've visited or when
they've gone online.

Burdsall acknowledges that her vigilance has not been geared toward
cyber bullying. "What scares me," she said, is the prospect of her
kids "accidentally stumbling on a porn site."

But she has made it clear, especially to her 11-year-old, Michael,
that she's watching.

"He knows I can keep track," Burdsall said. "And he knows I mean
business."
(snip

"windswept" <windswept@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:b8a529c39e686.ebd9d28388b7a5bbb367@asarian-host.net...

It goes on in every age group pretty much in the same manner. It just so
easy in this medium. A group finds a target and loses their compassion

good sense.

I found this to be interesting and true:

"But the safety of a computer screen can embolden even those who are
otherwise meek, he said. In fact, many cyber bullies are former victims
who use the computer to turn the tables on their tormentors."What makes
cyber bullying more insidious," Feinberg said, "is that it can be, by

large, anonymous."

I think everyone probably has a bully in them somewhere - most of the
people who indulge it on line are good people who just let that out and

don't think they realize the extent of what they are doing because of

fact that its a faceless and therefore often feelingless medium. I hope
there is more publicity regarding it. Its an awful experience both being
either the target and the perpetrator. I don't think anyone can honestly
say they feel good about inflicting pain on someone - but again - the
problem with this media is that you cannot see the pain. So it gets out

control.

I disagree. I think that there is this misconception in a lot of people
that online life is separate from real life.

lean towards "anything goes" because there are no "consequences", whereas
in real life, there would be consequences and accountability. I think that
there needs to be an "owning of words" put on the net, a "personalizing"

what is said.

"BroJack" <windswept@home.net> wrote in message
news:41d8a6b2.49367835@news-60.giganews.com...

http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/front/10545779.htm?1c Posted

Sun, Jan. 02, 2005

High-tech harassment is hitting teens hard

Bullying is nothing new, but it takes on a new and ominous tone in
cyberspace. Adults are catching on.

By Leslie A. Pappas

Inquirer Staff Writer

Only after Ryan Halligan hanged himself did his father realize what

13-year-old had been doing online.

Through three months' worth of links and instant messages saved on his
home computer, Ryan's growing pain - and the callousness of his online
tormentors - became clear.

"You're a loser," one message jabbed. There were other taunts, Web
searches on suicide, and, ultimately, threats to kill himself to get
back at school bullies.

"Tonight's the night," Ryan finally typed.

"It's about time," the screen replied.

Bullying has been around forever, but modern technologies have both
broadened its venues and cloaked its practitioners.

Instant messaging, Web journals, cell phones and e-mail let bullies
chase victims into their homes, mock them anonymously, or slander them
schoolwide with a single mouse click.

There are few solid statistics about cyber bullying, but experts agree
that it is spreading.

"Cyber bullying is so new, people don't have a clue," said Bill
Belsey, who runs a Canadian Web site called cyberbullying.ca. Belsey
first heard of cyber bullying a few years ago in Asia and Scandinavia,
where mobile technologies were more advanced.

Since then, reports have spread, taking on new forms as technology
grows. Lagging behind are adults, who struggle to comprehend the
problem, let alone combat it.

Many parents focus on dangers from sexual predators and pornography
yet remain oblivious to much of their children's online world.
Educators, meanwhile, scramble to block elusive online threats before
they slip onto school grounds.

In Ryan's case, it was school problems that followed him home through
instant messages, deepening the bullying that had started during the
day. Ryan latched on to the idea of killing himself as vengeance
against those who had hurt him.

"He was on a mission to just make these kids feel bad," said his

John Halligan.

The father, though well-versed in technology, had no clue until it was
too late.

An IBM manager who built his own computers, Halligan, of Essex
Junction, Vt., thought he knew the risks of letting his son have a
computer in his bedroom. His ground rules were clear: no talking to
strangers, no sharing of passwords or personal information.

After Ryan's death on Oct. 7, 2003, Halligan logged on at his son's
computer and discovered a world he never knew existed.

Students with multiple screen names had left torrid messages that
Halligan struggled to decipher. Clicking on his son's saved Web links
led to online journals where sixth- and seventh-grade girls bragged of
sexual conquests. Other Web logs skewered classmates by exposing
intimate secrets culled from private cyber chats.

"These kids thought they had their own little private world and it was
their own playground where they could do whatever they wanted,"
Halligan said. "The problem is not just about pedophiles and
strangers, but how [youths are] treating each other."

Ted Feinberg, assistant executive director of the National Association
of School Psychologists in Bethesda, Md., said the goals of a cyber
bully differ little from those of the traditional, in-your-face bully:
"to torment, to intimidate, to frighten, to disparage."

But the safety of a computer screen can embolden even those who are
otherwise meek, he said. In fact, many cyber bullies are former
victims who use the computer to turn the tables on their tormentors.
"What makes cyber bullying more insidious," Feinberg said, "is that it
can be, by and large, anonymous. You don't know where the messages are
coming from."

Such was the case last month for a 15-year-old in Delaware County,
who, for safety reasons, didn't want her name or school identified.
Shortly after she switched from a private to a public school, her
parents received an unsigned e-mail from a newly created Yahoo!
account called [your_daughter]_is_headed_for_trouble.

"Your daughter... bragged about drinking and how she can ***** around
now that she's a public school girl... Maybe you can spend the tuition
you saved on therapy," the e-mail said.

"It just made us sick," the girl's mother said. "It was basically just
like throwing a bomb."

A school investigation turned up nothing. "This could have come from
anybody, anywhere," a school official told the girl's mother in an
e-mail.

"It made me feel incredibly attacked," said the girl, who suspects a
former classmate who had picked on her. "It was so incredibly untrue."

Defaming messages also pop up on the Web, often on free online teen
journals or blogging sites.

Earlier this month at Titus Elementary School in Warrington, Bucks
County, sixth graders listened intently to a story about Alex, a teen
in the county whose classmates created a Web site titled simply
"Reasons to Hate Alex."

Mary Worthington of the Network of Victim Assistance in Bucks County
said Alex agreed to share the story as part of a new cyber bully
training program, which was created for schools to meet a growing
demand.

Schools struggle with the issue because much of the Internet activity
that creates problems at school begins at home.

"I would encourage parents to be as close to Perry Mason as they can,"
said Linda Sember, assistant principal at Beverly Hills Middle School
in Upper Darby, Delaware County, who has responded to several cyber
bullying incidents over the last year, including one death threat that
prompted the school to summon police.

But many parents don't, or won't, pay enough attention, said Rachel
Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in
Girls. As a result, the Internet - like lunchrooms, rest rooms and bus
stops - has become an unsupervised place where bullies can rule.

Parents "often use their ignorance of technology to excuse themselves
for not knowing what their children are doing when they're online,"
Simmons said. "What happens as a result of that attitude is that kids
have appropriated the Internet as this place that belongs to them -
with their own rules, their own language, their own justice."

Nancy Willard, executive director of the Center for Safe and
Responsible Internet Use, based in Eugene, Ore., agrees.

"The gap between parental understanding of what is going on online and
what children report is significant in every study," Willard said.
"Kids aren't telling their parents about what's happening online, and
parents aren't making it their business to find out."

Maria Burdsall, a mother of three boys in Warrington Township, is one
exception. She uses parental software to monitor her children's online
activity, frequently checking what sites they've visited or when
they've gone online.

Burdsall acknowledges that her vigilance has not been geared toward
cyber bullying. "What scares me," she said, is the prospect of her
kids "accidentally stumbling on a porn site."

But she has made it clear, especially to her 11-year-old, Michael,

she's watching.

"He knows I can keep track," Burdsall said. "And he knows I mean
business." (snip