| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"lisa in mass." |
| Date: |
26 Sep 2004 07:23:21 PM |
| Object: |
for some reason |
people in rl keep commenting to me about how good i look, sound
(of course, these things are relative.) how much better i must
feel. you're really doing well, aren't you.
even my husband said that this crash seems like it must be very
mild because he doesn't see it. now, i woke him twice getting up
to call crisis, but he still thinks my affect is good enough
that there's nothing really wrong.
even surprised my pdoc. i called him to say how bad things are
and he said that i'd been doing well when he saw me a couple of
weeks ago. i'd told him that suicidal ideation and cutting urges
were up, but i guess that doesn't count as much as how else i
seemed.
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well
i seem.
my family doc said of me a few years ago that i was the most
cheerful suicidal patient he'd ever met. i guess that's me
again.
-lisa
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:28:11 AM |
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On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
my family doc said of me a few years ago that i was the most
cheerful suicidal patient he'd ever met. i guess that's me
again.
oh yuck. :-(
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist:
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:33:33 AM |
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wombn wrote...
On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
my family doc said of me a few years ago that i was the
most cheerful suicidal patient he'd ever met. i guess
that's me again.
oh yuck. :-(
yeah, i'm pretty good at hiding it. especially when it's bad. i
had the 'people should never know how you're feeling by looking
at you' drilled into me as a severely depressed kid.
-lisa
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| User: "=^.^=" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:30:49 AM |
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On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half=20
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well=20
i seem.
only the cats speak, for the most part
when others do, it's about them, their trips
....or what they are interested in
the displays of interest in the beginning were false ones
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:35:42 AM |
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=^.^= wrote...
On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up
half the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get
told how well i seem.
only the cats speak, for the most part
when others do, it's about them, their trips
...or what they are interested in
the displays of interest in the beginning were false ones
some of these are people who genuinely care, i just hide it as
well as i can. it's all too easy to throw that switch.
-lisa
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| User: "dennis" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:53:25 PM |
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On 27 Sep 2004 05:35:42 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
=^.^= wrote...
On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up
half the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get
told how well i seem.
only the cats speak, for the most part
when others do, it's about them, their trips
...or what they are interested in
the displays of interest in the beginning were false ones
some of these are people who genuinely care, i just hide it as
well as i can. it's all too easy to throw that switch.
-lisa
i used to tell people. i found thast it only scares them your pdoc
should know better though.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 07:41:34 PM |
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dennis wrote...
On 27 Sep 2004 05:35:42 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
=^.^= wrote...
On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up
half the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get
told how well i seem.
only the cats speak, for the most part
when others do, it's about them, their trips
...or what they are interested in
the displays of interest in the beginning were false ones
some of these are people who genuinely care, i just hide it
as well as i can. it's all too easy to throw that switch.
-lisa
i used to tell people. i found thast it only scares them
your pdoc should know better though.
i don't know what's up with the pdoc. i don't remember what i
said to him, other than the ideation problems. don't remember
if i told him how bad things were other than that. i do
remember it was an unusually short appt- we usually go well
over time.
-lisa
-lisa
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| User: "=^.^=" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 04:48:27 AM |
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On 27 Sep 2004 05:35:42 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
the displays of interest in the beginning were false ones
some of these are people who genuinely care, i just hide it as=20
well as i can. it's all too easy to throw that switch.
they do deep-down care. but the bonding is gone
throwing the switch is hard. I won't escape clean
I hide it well...thats what I do. The Stoicism
that works for me sometimes
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| User: "dennis" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
26 Sep 2004 08:00:19 PM |
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On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
people in rl keep commenting to me about how good i look, sound
(of course, these things are relative.) how much better i must
feel. you're really doing well, aren't you.
even my husband said that this crash seems like it must be very
mild because he doesn't see it. now, i woke him twice getting up
to call crisis, but he still thinks my affect is good enough
that there's nothing really wrong.
even surprised my pdoc. i called him to say how bad things are
and he said that i'd been doing well when he saw me a couple of
weeks ago. i'd told him that suicidal ideation and cutting urges
were up, but i guess that doesn't count as much as how else i
seemed.
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well
i seem.
my family doc said of me a few years ago that i was the most
cheerful suicidal patient he'd ever met. i guess that's me
again.
-lisa
sounds a lot like me. if they could see inside my head they would
lock me up and throw away the map to the place i was hid.
a mind is a scary place to be.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:04:30 AM |
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dennis wrote...
On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
people in rl keep commenting to me about how good i look,
sound (of course, these things are relative.) how much
better i must feel. you're really doing well, aren't you.
even my husband said that this crash seems like it must be
very mild because he doesn't see it. now, i woke him twice
getting up to call crisis, but he still thinks my affect is
good enough that there's nothing really wrong.
even surprised my pdoc. i called him to say how bad things
are and he said that i'd been doing well when he saw me a
couple of weeks ago. i'd told him that suicidal ideation
and cutting urges were up, but i guess that doesn't count
as much as how else i seemed.
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up
half the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get
told how well i seem.
my family doc said of me a few years ago that i was the
most cheerful suicidal patient he'd ever met. i guess
that's me again.
-lisa
sounds a lot like me. if they could see inside my head
they would lock me up and throw away the map to the place i
was hid.
a mind is a scary place to be.
sometimes it certainly is.
-lisa
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 02:17:12 AM |
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lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
people in rl keep commenting to me about how good i look, sound
(of course, these things are relative.) how much better i must
feel. you're really doing well, aren't you.
ppl have told me that too... actually that I look much better
than I did some months back
even my husband said that this crash seems like it must be very
mild because he doesn't see it.
that would be hard to take
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well
i seem.
yuppity yup
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| User: "Dudmex" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 04:09:35 PM |
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lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well
i seem.
Hi everyone. I'm new here today after seeking out this type of
support system. I've talked to countless doctors and pdocs and they
just don't seem to get it. YOU are the people who have been there and
can understand how we all feel. Lisa's comments above prompted me to
post here as this is my life. I work shift work and sometimes get 5
days off at at time. Don't leave the house ever. Sleep, TV, sleep.
And then troll around the house until 4:00 am. and then sleep till
noon.
Here's hoping you all can be a help to me some way...and maybe I can
return the favor for you.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 07:45:46 PM |
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Dudmex wrote...
lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day,
up half the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i
get told how well i seem.
Hi everyone. I'm new here today after seeking out this
type of support system. I've talked to countless doctors
and pdocs and they just don't seem to get it. YOU are the
people who have been there and can understand how we all
feel. Lisa's comments above prompted me to post here as
this is my life. I work shift work and sometimes get 5
days off at at time. Don't leave the house ever. Sleep,
TV, sleep. And then troll around the house until 4:00 am.
and then sleep till noon.
Here's hoping you all can be a help to me some way...and
maybe I can return the favor for you.
sorry things aren't better for you, but welcome to asd.
-lisa
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| User: "dennis" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 12:54:30 PM |
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On 27 Sep 2004 14:09:35 -0700, (Dudmex) wrote:
lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well
i seem.
Hi everyone. I'm new here today after seeking out this type of
support system. I've talked to countless doctors and pdocs and they
just don't seem to get it. YOU are the people who have been there and
can understand how we all feel. Lisa's comments above prompted me to
post here as this is my life. I work shift work and sometimes get 5
days off at at time. Don't leave the house ever. Sleep, TV, sleep.
And then troll around the house until 4:00 am. and then sleep till
noon.
Here's hoping you all can be a help to me some way...and maybe I can
return the favor for you.
hi dud. welcome to the group. hope you are doing ok now.
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| User: "yuluwirri" |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 03:54:58 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
On 27 Sep 2004 00:23:21 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
people in rl keep commenting to me about how good i look, sound
(of course, these things are relative.) how much better i must
feel. you're really doing well, aren't you.
even my husband said that this crash seems like it must be very
mild because he doesn't see it. now, i woke him twice getting up
to call crisis, but he still thinks my affect is good enough
that there's nothing really wrong.
even surprised my pdoc. i called him to say how bad things are
and he said that i'd been doing well when he saw me a couple of
weeks ago. i'd told him that suicidal ideation and cutting urges
were up, but i guess that doesn't count as much as how else i
seemed.
even when i'm living in bed, sleeping through the day, up half
the night, not wanting to do a damned thing, i get told how well
i seem.
my family doc said of me a few years ago that i was the most
cheerful suicidal patient he'd ever met. i guess that's me
again.
It is a horrid feeling being invalidated. We all wear some kind of
mask from time to time. I know it might not help much, but I hear you
and read most of your posts. I am sorry things are so tough for you at
the moment.
-lisa
--
yuluwirri
~~~~~~~
Fish know.
~~~~~~~
yuluwirri@hotmail.com
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: for some reason |
27 Sep 2004 08:18:16 PM |
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yuluwirri wrote...
It is a horrid feeling being invalidated. We all wear some
kind of mask from time to time. I know it might not help
much, but I hear you and read most of your posts. I am
sorry things are so tough for you at the moment.
thanks. i'm sorry things are hard for you now, too.
-lisa
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