| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"packrat" |
| Date: |
23 Dec 2005 03:12:13 PM |
| Object: |
fucking shoot me now |
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:17:00 PM |
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(((((cindi)))))
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:25:00 PM |
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hey girl,
how are you? I read your posts and you have me worried.
I'm far from cheery right now, but I do have free long distance if you want
to talk. you can try my email
"Used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:M43rf.5335$9e.3088@tornado.texas.rr.com...
(((((cindi)))))
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| User: "GreyWitch" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 11:52:04 PM |
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<packrat>
entschuldigung. you seem to have caught this from me.
thank you for taking it off my hands. and i'm sorry that you had to be
the one to catch it.
take it off and put it down the ***** chute over there. then lock the
door so it can't come back and infect someone else.
<packrat>
--
:GreyWitch
:Thought for the journey:
Eschew Obfuscation
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 03:17:34 PM |
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"packrat" <maddienospam@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:NKZqf.1885$nu6.708@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
i don't think i want that responsibility pushed on to me
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| User: "gravity" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
24 Dec 2005 05:22:27 AM |
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"packrat" <maddienospam@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:NKZqf.1885$nu6.708@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
you'll feel better after the holidays. i always enjoy New Year's Eve.
Gravity
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 08:42:56 PM |
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((((({{{{{packrat}}}}})))))
Hang in there, it's got to get better. EMail me if you need yo.
Bobbie
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:13:28 PM |
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<crysalis7@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1135392176.634594.221580@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
((((({{{{{packrat}}}}})))))
Hang in there, it's got to get better. EMail me if you need yo.
Bobbie
thanks for the offer Bobbie and good thoughts. I don't believe in that
"it's got to get better". Everytime that was said to me for a really bad
period in my life (my divorce process), something even worse would happen.
It was like a jinx, so I cringe when I hear that. No offense meant.
still holding in there. thanks.
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| User: "Kaizen" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 04:08:10 PM |
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Hi Packrat!
You are not alone! just remember that the challenge is never in dying
but having the desire to live.
Check out this site http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
I am sorry for your pain and I hope that you will find your will to
live and survive after the crisis you find yourself in.
I have a website on depression www.kaizenlifeonline.com its pretty
basic am working on adding more information on first hand account.
Take care of yourself,
Kaizen
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| User: "electro" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 08:43:15 PM |
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I get the feeling something has happened to push you to this edge.. ..either
that, or just the build-up, as I experience over the holidays..
I'm right there with you Cindi.. ..hold onto anything you can.. ..the
ride never ends unless you jump off the track.. ..and who knows what's
through the next tunnel..
Ty
"packrat" <maddienospam@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:NKZqf.1885$nu6.708@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
.
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:16:58 PM |
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"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:7B2rf.166138$ki.15774@pd7tw2no...
I get the feeling something has happened to push you to this edge..
..either
that, or just the build-up, as I experience over the holidays..
combination of things, none of which I really can talk about and wouldn't
make sense much if I did talk about. However I am just a ***** up. As I
wrote the other day, a flunkee of life and if at my age it's primarily been
shitty, why hold out for more? That's just being a glutton for punishment.
I'm right there with you Cindi.. ..hold onto anything you can.. ..the
ride never ends unless you jump off the track.. ..and who knows what's
through the next tunnel..
ohh, if I were on a train speeding, now that would be tempting. But I"m
not.
I hope your train leads to better places than mine.
Ty
"packrat" <maddienospam@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:NKZqf.1885$nu6.708@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
.
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:56:48 PM |
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"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:7B2rf.166138$ki.15774@pd7tw2no...
I get the feeling something has happened to push you to this edge..
..either
that, or just the build-up, as I experience over the holidays..
I was thinking about this a little more if something did push me over the
edge and I suppose it did. Myself. being disgusted at who I am and how
repulsive I am. Negative self talk? I don't care right now. It's true
and I just want to be rid of me more than anyone else has, although most
people, if not all people have been glad to be rid of me. I don't need a
trigger. I just need to fucking wake up and realize I'm still here. that's
enough.
I'm right there with you Cindi.. ..hold onto anything you can.. ..the
ride never ends unless you jump off the track.. ..and who knows what's
through the next tunnel..
Ty
"packrat" <maddienospam@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:NKZqf.1885$nu6.708@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 08:53:17 PM |
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hi
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| User: "electro" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:45:25 PM |
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lo
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:XqmdnbIaSJfzJTHeRVn-hg@giganews.com...
hi
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:53:35 PM |
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how's it going now , ay
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:pv3rf.174365$Gd6.148510@pd7tw3no...
lo
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:XqmdnbIaSJfzJTHeRVn-hg@giganews.com...
hi
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| User: "electro" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 10:21:48 PM |
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dead tired.. ..gotta pack for my journey to the homeland.
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:Z9WdnfKTQ_gPWzHenZ2dnUVZ_vidnZ2d@giganews.com...
how's it going now , ay
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:pv3rf.174365$Gd6.148510@pd7tw3no...
lo
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:XqmdnbIaSJfzJTHeRVn-hg@giganews.com...
hi
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 11:04:45 PM |
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can i stay at your house while you're gone
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:w14rf.174399$Gd6.9727@pd7tw3no...
dead tired.. ..gotta pack for my journey to the homeland.
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:Z9WdnfKTQ_gPWzHenZ2dnUVZ_vidnZ2d@giganews.com...
how's it going now , ay
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:pv3rf.174365$Gd6.148510@pd7tw3no...
lo
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:XqmdnbIaSJfzJTHeRVn-hg@giganews.com...
hi
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| User: "electro" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 11:40:09 PM |
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sure.. ..and there's about 16 Lucky Lager's in the fridge, go nuts..
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:Ko6dnS6wXvfcSjHeRVn-rQ@giganews.com...
can i stay at your house while you're gone
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:w14rf.174399$Gd6.9727@pd7tw3no...
dead tired.. ..gotta pack for my journey to the homeland.
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:Z9WdnfKTQ_gPWzHenZ2dnUVZ_vidnZ2d@giganews.com...
how's it going now , ay
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:pv3rf.174365$Gd6.148510@pd7tw3no...
lo
"%" <persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:XqmdnbIaSJfzJTHeRVn-hg@giganews.com...
hi
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| User: "aaron from suburbia" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 05:59:56 PM |
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Pack - I cannot count the times that I have felt this exact same way.
wanting hoping praying begging for someone to put and end to my
horrible life....
keep posting.
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:10:44 PM |
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"aaron from suburbia" <suburbanlife@mail.com> wrote in message
news:1135382395.931703.223290@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Pack - I cannot count the times that I have felt this exact same way.
I wish these feelings on no one. You seem too nice to have to struggle with
these feelings.
wanting hoping praying begging for someone to put and end to my
horrible life....
well, will hope for these thoughts to leave you alone so you can go forward
with your life. Live a good life, not have to struggle with these type
feelings and not for the length of time that I have.
keep posting.
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| User: "Jane" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
24 Dec 2005 12:49:15 AM |
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Sorry out of bullets...
"packrat" <maddienospam@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:NKZqf.1885$nu6.708@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
.
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 05:13:11 PM |
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Sorry to hear you're having problems. Did you ever get to the hospital,
or partial, like you were planning to? You seem more depressed then you
have been, is there a reason why?
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
.
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:08:08 PM |
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"David" <dav.drw@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1135379591.417879.89120@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Sorry to hear you're having problems. Did you ever get to the hospital,
or partial, like you were planning to? You seem more depressed then you
have been, is there a reason why?
Hi David,
No, I'm in therapy weekly right now, will have to drop down to 2 times
monthly soon. There aren't any good inpatient programs here, I spoke to my
doc about it and the only partial programs are every night in the evenings
and about a 45 minute drive from here which I don't drive well at night
(poor depth perception) and would be no time with my kids for about a month.
Although it's more the drive, the expense of the drive, which I can't afford
and all those details that keep me from doing something like that. So
meanwhile, continuing with my therapist.
This has been building to a point.
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
.
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| User: "Pinwheel" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 03:45:17 PM |
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packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
*BANG!*
......had my eyes closed. did I miss?
--Pinwheel
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 08:55:10 PM |
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"Pinwheel" <pinwheel@volcanomail.com> wrote in message
news:1135374317.304801.179300@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
*BANG!*
.....had my eyes closed. did I miss?
--Pinwheel
yeah, you missed. I don't have a gun. my ex had plenty of them. I should
have been allowed one in the settlement. nah, guns aren't the way to do it
anyways, unless it's someone doing it for you and wouldn't put that upon
anyone. I'm just such a chicken *****, no guts to just go ahead.
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| User: "Pinwheel" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
25 Dec 2005 04:02:23 PM |
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packrat wrote:
"Pinwheel" <pinwheel@volcanomail.com> wrote in message
news:1135374317.304801.179300@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
*BANG!*
.....had my eyes closed. did I miss?
--Pinwheel
yeah, you missed. I don't have a gun. my ex had plenty of them. I should
have been allowed one in the settlement. nah, guns aren't the way to do it
anyways, unless it's someone doing it for you and wouldn't put that upon
anyone. I'm just such a chicken *****, no guts to just go ahead.
This kind of reminds me of my year-end "inventory" in my
not-quite-so-distant past. Time is a relentless mo-fo: always going by
faster than I can make use of it. It's Christmas here as I type this
out and the last post is currently from yesterday. Whether you observe
any holiday at this time or not, I hope the day finds you here.
--Pinwheel
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| User: "kali" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 04:02:48 PM |
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packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
Though I speak from the other side of the gender divide, I can say
without hesitation that I know these feelings so very well.
But you know, precisely because this screwed-up world can indeed go
***** itself, I shrug. Yeah, we're screwed up...and that's maybe how we
really *do* belong, because the world's a mess.
I have the strong feeling that if I were there with you and hugged you,
we'd feel a real connection. My meaninglessness and despair fits with
yours.
.
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:02:42 PM |
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"kali" <dravazed@w-link.net> wrote in message
news:1135375368.245211.105850@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
Though I speak from the other side of the gender divide, I can say
without hesitation that I know these feelings so very well.
other people, especially like you shouldn't know these feelings. You're too
funny, sweet and seemingly upbeat even through your depression. Other side
of the gender divide? Are you a guy? I get confused with nick names and
all around here. I assume one thing and then someone turns out other than
what I expected. No big deal, just kind of caught me off guard. Or am I so
foggy right now that I'm missing what you said completely?
But you know, precisely because this screwed-up world can indeed go
***** itself, I shrug. Yeah, we're screwed up...and that's maybe how we
really *do* belong, because the world's a mess.
good point. Never thought about it that way. Still doesn't feel good or
right.
I have the strong feeling that if I were there with you and hugged you,
we'd feel a real connection. My meaninglessness and despair fits with
yours.
Where as I love hugs, I don't know if I could let someone in right now.
Feeling really repulsive, even to answer the phone much less the door.
Although don't suppose I have to concern myself with that, do I?
meaningless and despair just about says it all. things that should have
meaning don't. Despair over everything.
I hope yours changes soon.
.
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 04:34:39 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
Nope.
.
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: fucking shoot me now |
23 Dec 2005 09:04:00 PM |
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"Janithor" <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:43AC7B90.1010809@comcast.net...
x-no-archive: yes
packrat wrote:
before I do, this life is fucking *****.
I DON'T fucking belong here, there or anyfuckingwhere!. I'm a fucking
*****, *****, who has nosd reason taking up resources on this planet. So
would someone please be kind enough to do me, my family, society and this
earth a favor and just shoot me or push me off of a cliff, I don't really
care how as long as it's quick.
*****!!!
Nope.
I expected so much. Maybe if I took up running one of your infamous people
that you run into (not literally) would take care of it for me.
.
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