| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"lisa in mass." |
| Date: |
10 Nov 2005 09:58:41 PM |
| Object: |
getting worse |
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place. can't
lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying down. my
bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the pit of my
stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking about
it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
.
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:05:56 PM |
|
|
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place. can't
lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying down. my
bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the pit of my
stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking about
it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
Lisa just keep posting, I'm here I'll be here all night if you need me to
be. It's Friday tomorrow casual day, I can slack tomorrow at work so if you
need me up just say the word...
Jane
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:21:07 PM |
|
|
Jane wrote...
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
Lisa just keep posting, I'm here I'll be here all night if
you need me to be. It's Friday tomorrow casual day, I can
slack tomorrow at work so if you need me up just say the
word...
Jane
i don't think i'll be up all night. i hope not. joe just held
me for awhile. it helps.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:27:29 PM |
|
|
"lisa in mass."
Lisa just keep posting, I'm here I'll be here all night if
you need me to be. It's Friday tomorrow casual day, I can
slack tomorrow at work so if you need me up just say the
word...
Jane
i don't think i'll be up all night. i hope not. joe just held
me for awhile. it helps.
-lisa
Well give Joe a hug from me, I'm glad he's there with you. Special guy you
got!
Jane
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:30:50 PM |
|
|
Jane wrote...
"lisa in mass."
Lisa just keep posting, I'm here I'll be here all night
if you need me to be. It's Friday tomorrow casual day, I
can slack tomorrow at work so if you need me up just say
the word...
Jane
i don't think i'll be up all night. i hope not. joe just
held me for awhile. it helps.
-lisa
Well give Joe a hug from me, I'm glad he's there with you.
Special guy you got!
Jane
yes he is. i just wish he could be a better support. it upsets
him too much to know details.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:42:15 PM |
|
|
"lisa in mass."
yes he is. i just wish he could be a better support. it upsets
him too much to know details.
-lisa
He's in denial,but he loves you, just remember that hon when it gets too
bad, he really does love you
Jane
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:56:22 PM |
|
|
Jane wrote...
"lisa in mass."
yes he is. i just wish he could be a better support. it
upsets him too much to know details.
-lisa
He's in denial,but he loves you, just remember that hon
when it gets too bad, he really does love you
Jane
he's not really in denial. just so stressed out with his own
life that knowing the details of what's going on with me can
push him too far. he already drinks too much due to stress. when
i tell him what's up, he wants to fix it and can't, and stresses
more and drinks more. not a good thing.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "electro" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:14:42 PM |
|
|
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can make it through this.
I'm having a wierd night. I dunno what's going on inside me.. ..I feel for
you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place. can't
lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying down. my
bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the pit of my
stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking about
it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:24:47 PM |
|
|
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can make
it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I dunno what's
going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
thanks, ty. i'll be around. maybe we can hold each other up
tonight.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:29:42 PM |
|
|
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can make
it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I dunno what's
going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
just read your earlier post. it's ok if you think you should
sleep. probably a good idea, in fact. you're dealing with a
lot right now.
if you're up, anyway, i'll be here.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:36:24 PM |
|
|
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AEF090CE3Amccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can make
it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I dunno what's
going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
just read your earlier post. it's ok if you think you should
sleep. probably a good idea, in fact. you're dealing with a
lot right now.
if you're up, anyway, i'll be here.
-lisa
its the old half moon haunting
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "electro" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:35:04 PM |
|
|
I'm here for awhile yet lisa. just thinking about....the future I guess..
...if I am to have one, what I can do with it..
keep posting. we're all here for you..
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AEF090CE3Amccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can make
it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I dunno what's
going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
just read your earlier post. it's ok if you think you should
sleep. probably a good idea, in fact. you're dealing with a
lot right now.
if you're up, anyway, i'll be here.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:36:29 PM |
|
|
thank you, ty. we're here for you, too. at least we both have
company.
-lisa
electro wrote...
I'm here for awhile yet lisa. just thinking about....the
future I guess.. ..if I am to have one, what I can do with
it..
keep posting. we're all here for you..
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AEF090CE3Amccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can
make it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I dunno
what's going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good
place. can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can
get lying down. my bottom half is rocking. got that
feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
just read your earlier post. it's ok if you think you
should sleep. probably a good idea, in fact. you're
dealing with a lot right now.
if you're up, anyway, i'll be here.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "electro" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:45:51 PM |
|
|
thanks lisa.. ..just nice to know we're helping each other.
ds just got up and opened his door.. ..he's been doing this alot lately,
since he's been sick, his couging wakes him up.. ..he just stands by the
door, waiting for me to come and walk him to his bed, give him a big hug..
...he kinda droops over me and starts to fall asleep. lay him into his bed,
and kiss him all over his face, which makes him smile.. ..then I tell him "I
love you to the moon and back" and he echos "moon an' back".. ..and he's
out.
I forget how awesome he really is sometimes.. ..I want so much for him. I
guess I need to find those things in myself to be able to give to him.
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AF02F5D578mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
thank you, ty. we're here for you, too. at least we both have
company.
-lisa
electro wrote...
I'm here for awhile yet lisa. just thinking about....the
future I guess.. ..if I am to have one, what I can do with
it..
keep posting. we're all here for you..
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AEF090CE3Amccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can
make it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I dunno
what's going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good
place. can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can
get lying down. my bottom half is rocking. got that
feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
just read your earlier post. it's ok if you think you
should sleep. probably a good idea, in fact. you're
dealing with a lot right now.
if you're up, anyway, i'll be here.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:55:05 PM |
|
|
"electro" <pewter_toast@NOhotmailSPAM.com> wrote in message
news:3mVcf.482980$1i.317911@pd7tw2no...
thanks lisa.. ..just nice to know we're helping each other.
ds just got up and opened his door.. ..he's been doing this alot lately,
since he's been sick, his couging wakes him up.. ..he just stands by the
door, waiting for me to come and walk him to his bed, give him a big hug..
..he kinda droops over me and starts to fall asleep. lay him into his
bed,
and kiss him all over his face, which makes him smile.. ..then I tell him
"I
love you to the moon and back" and he echos "moon an' back".. ..and he's
out.
I forget how awesome he really is sometimes.. ..I want so much for him.
I
guess I need to find those things in myself to be able to give to him.
Aww that's sweet, my babies, who aren't babies anymore, were my life line,
and they'd so something sweet like that "moon an'back" god that's adorable,
anyway they would do something incredible and I'd just thank the good lord I
didn't go through with all the terrible thoughts I had.
I'm glad you have him Ty
Jane
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 11:00:01 PM |
|
|
he sounds like such a sweet kid. and you sound like a great
dad.
i find it's tough to feel good about my parenting when the
kid's sick, though. i want to fix it. it's my job. and when
there's nothing i can do, it somehow feels like it's my fault.
-lisa
electro wrote...
thanks lisa.. ..just nice to know we're helping each
other.
ds just got up and opened his door.. ..he's been doing this
alot lately, since he's been sick, his couging wakes him
up.. ..he just stands by the door, waiting for me to come
and walk him to his bed, give him a big hug.. ..he kinda
droops over me and starts to fall asleep. lay him into his
bed, and kiss him all over his face, which makes him
smile.. ..then I tell him "I love you to the moon and back"
and he echos "moon an' back".. ..and he's out.
I forget how awesome he really is sometimes.. ..I want so
much for him. I guess I need to find those things in
myself to be able to give to him.
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AF02F5D578mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
thank you, ty. we're here for you, too. at least we both
have company.
-lisa
electro wrote...
I'm here for awhile yet lisa. just thinking
about....the future I guess.. ..if I am to have one,
what I can do with it..
keep posting. we're all here for you..
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AEF090CE3Amccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
electro wrote...
I'll be around for awhile too lisa.. ..I know you can
make it through this. I'm having a wierd night. I
dunno what's going on inside me.. ..I feel for you.
Ty
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good
place. can't lie still. as close to rocking as one
can get lying down. my bottom half is rocking. got
that feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go
away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself.
i don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't
stop thinking about it. i stop and it comes back.
over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
just read your earlier post. it's ok if you think you
should sleep. probably a good idea, in fact. you're
dealing with a lot right now.
if you're up, anyway, i'll be here.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "electro" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 11:10:48 PM |
|
|
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970B92BA53mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
he sounds like such a sweet kid. and you sound like a great
dad.
i find it's tough to feel good about my parenting when the
kid's sick, though. i want to fix it. it's my job. and when
there's nothing i can do, it somehow feels like it's my fault.
yeah, I do feel kinda like that.. ..but at the same time.. .I'm doing
everything I know how to do.. ..and I'm such a light sleeper, that I know
I'll wake up if ds' is having a problem.. ..I do wish I had a humidifier
for him right now.. ..tho I don't think it's even that dry in here..
Ty
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 11:13:53 PM |
|
|
electro wrote...
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970B92BA53mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
he sounds like such a sweet kid. and you sound like a
great dad.
i find it's tough to feel good about my parenting when the
kid's sick, though. i want to fix it. it's my job. and
when there's nothing i can do, it somehow feels like it's
my fault.
yeah, I do feel kinda like that.. ..but at the same time..
.I'm doing everything I know how to do.. ..and I'm such a
light sleeper, that I know I'll wake up if ds' is having a
problem.. ..I do wish I had a humidifier for him right
now.. ..tho I don't think it's even that dry in here..
Ty
he'll get through this ok. remember that kids get sick all the
time and bounce back. they say it's better to get some illnesses
when young, that it leads to less colds during school age.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:08:43 PM |
|
|
Lisa is there anyone at your home you can lean on?
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place. can't
lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying down. my
bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the pit of my
stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking about
it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:27:28 PM |
|
|
joe's right here and knows i'm having a tough time. no
details, though. we don't do details. being held for awhile
helped, but it's coming back now. it'll be bad when he falls
asleep soon. he's really tired tonight. unfortunately, he
can't handle being a real support. it's good to know he's
here, anyway.
-lisa
Jane wrote...
Lisa is there anyone at your home you can lean on?
"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns970AE9C759A20mccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Charles" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:07:01 PM |
|
|
On 11 Nov 2005 03:58:41 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place. can't
lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying down. my
bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the pit of my
stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking about
it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
you said earlier that it was too early then to call the crisis line.
Maybe it's time now?
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 10:23:39 PM |
|
|
Charles wrote...
On 11 Nov 2005 03:58:41 GMT, "lisa in mass."
<mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking
about it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
you said earlier that it was too early then to call the
crisis line. Maybe it's time now?
yeah, pretty soon. if i was closer to doing anything, i'd call
right now. i'm holding myself back, though, and joe's still
awake with me. it gets worse when he's sleeping and my chance
for self-harm is greater. it's going to be a call, night,
though, i think.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Contrarian" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
11 Nov 2005 12:17:23 AM |
|
|
lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
this is not a good night.
I was out, am probably not going to be up all night,
but e-mail me at adrba at nyct dot net any time.
--
but the edge is still Out there. Or maybe it's In... HST (1967)
when i got to the edge , i built a deck % (2005)
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
11 Nov 2005 12:33:56 AM |
|
|
Contrarian wrote...
lisa in mass. <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
this is not a good night.
I was out, am probably not going to be up all night,
but e-mail me at adrba at nyct dot net any time.
thanks so much, contrarian.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "aaron from suburbia" |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 11:10:00 PM |
|
|
so sorry this is such a bad night for you Lisa - hang on to ASD -- this
place has seen me through some very bad times. keep posting too.
hope you feel safer and better.
lisa in mass. wrote:
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place. can't
lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying down. my
bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the pit of my
stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i don't
think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop thinking about
it. i stop and it comes back. over and over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: getting worse |
10 Nov 2005 11:11:35 PM |
|
|
thanks aaron. this place literally saved my life about eight
years ago. i'll be here, unless i need to make a phone call.
-lisa
aaron from suburbia wrote...
so sorry this is such a bad night for you Lisa - hang on to
ASD -- this place has seen me through some very bad times.
keep posting too. hope you feel safer and better.
lisa in mass. wrote:
trying to hold it together. my head's not in a good place.
can't lie still. as close to rocking as one can get lying
down. my bottom half is rocking. got that feeling in the
pit of my stomach that won't go away.
all i can think about is killing or hurting myself. i
don't think i will, i'm sure i won't, just can't stop
thinking about it. i stop and it comes back. over and
over.
this is not a good night.
-lisa
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
