| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Mz R." |
| Date: |
23 Apr 2004 03:48:38 PM |
| Object: |
going forward... just going.... (sp: suic.) |
I did not go to work again today.
I actually started twitching when I thought about having to be there
today.
Instead I'm house cleaning.
I haven't done any in quite some time. I find moping around has become
my full time occupation.
I've been dealing with this depression crap for a long time now. too
damn long.
I feel it coming on sometimes. It is often triggered by hormones. It
lasts too damn long. It stabs my brain. It hurts.
And all I want is help. Help to control or even prevent the pain.
Some kind of relief.
I go to appointments and take meds and keep doing what I should be
doing. Trying to 'live a normal life' and hate every single second of
it.
I feel a failure at this thing called life. I derive no pleasure in
anything and just existing is a struggle. Call me a loser, a coward,
a mental case. Call me whatever you wish but I just don't want to do
this any more.
Living through cycle after cycle of depression and recovery has worn
me down to the bone.
So I'm cleaning up. I'm getting my ***** together and I'm trying to
think.
I really don't know what to do next. I have no hope.
I don't want to keep doing this.
I don't think my continued existence has any point.
If I was a wild animal, someone would pity me and put me down.
Mz.r.
.
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| User: "Flashfire" |
|
| Title: Re: going forward... just going.... (sp: suic.) |
23 Apr 2004 04:42:48 PM |
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Mz R. wrote:
If I was a wild animal, someone would pity me and put me down.
Not for depression they wouldnt. Cleaning up is a good start, I find when I
start cleaning its because the cycle is coming to an end. I am coming back
from the brink, good luck..
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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