| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"skubik" |
| Date: |
23 Dec 2003 05:19:59 PM |
| Object: |
Hello Again / Wellbutrin Experiences? |
Hello ASD, I'm back... again...
Can't remember the last time I posted here, probably within the year, I
dunno... the whole year is a blur. To be honest, I don't feel like I've
moved forward through life at all... not in my head anyways. Outside in
this physical existance, time has moved, but my mind's been on pause for
most of it. I've finally hit absolute rock-bottom, not knowing what to
think or feel or even do from day to day. Random thoughts haunt me,
uninvited and unpleasant thoughts linger around me every second of every
day.
This weekend was the pinnacle of the rut I'm living in. Granted, I was under
the influence of a LOT of pot, but pot has a funny effect of allowing me to
view my life from a third-person perspective... and I saw how truly
terrible my existance is, and how I've hurt so many people around me,
especially myself. It scared the hell out of me, and my thoughts quickly
turned to "I don't want to be here", but at the same time "I don't want to
be anywhere else either" sounded through my mind. Since that night, I've
had a few very trying days, not knowing what to think or feel. Distancing
myself from my girlfriend of 4 years, who has gone through hell and back
dealing with me, especially this year. Unfortunately, this has been
building for a long time. I first was diagnosed with depression back in
1996, and I've been struggling with it ever since. I was on Paxil for
years, until in 2000 it simply had no effect on me anymore, and I went on
the idea of 'mind over matter', and that I would work hard at controlling
my depression on my own. I've tried St. Johns Wort, and 5-HTP, neither
worked very well. St. John's Wort actually brought me down! Since then,
it's only become worse. I believed that if I kept my mind occupied with
other things, school, work, personal projects, whatever... that the
depression wouldn't have a chance to affect me. It didn't work. Depression
only used my thoughts against me, infiltrating my mind like a hacker,
exploiting weaknesses wherever it could.
I haven't worked since March, I've barely been able to keep myself afloat
financially by working periodically at my Dad's accounting company, doing
odd-job IT work since I can't find IT work anywhere else. Whether it's
because there ARE no jobs, or I don't have enough experience or
credentials, I even had a place tell me I didn't get the job because I was
TOO qualified! I've applied to everywhere from major Fortune-500 companies,
to corner-store Copy & Print shops. Nothing comes out of any of them, which
only adds to substantially lowering my self-esteem and worth.
I at least try and keep myself motivated by working on some of my own
soon-to-be-open-source projects, unfortunately my mind jumps me around all
over the place, so I work on a project, start working on something else
that interests me for a while, then sometimes I go back, but usually only
end up starting learning something new.
Having gone through all this, feeling like my head is permanently
disconnected from reality, I finally went to my doctor today. He's
prescribed Wellbutrin XL for me. However, since I don't know much about
this drug, I wanted to ask anyone whether they've had any experiences with
it. WHether they've found it to be effective, how long after you first take
it does it start to kick in, and even how much it costs. Being unemployed
and having NO kind of prescription/health plan to help absorb the cost,
makes it difficult to try and get better. :^/
Anyways, sorry that my post turned into a bit of a rant/story. Just wanted
to re-introduce myself again, and see whether anyone's had any experience
with Wellbutrin XL. :^/
Thanks,
- skubik.
.
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| User: "" |
|
| Title: Re: Hello Again / Wellbutrin Experiences? |
23 Dec 2003 08:06:56 PM |
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On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 23:19:59 GMT, skubik <vkube@yahoo.com> wrote:
<(((*> Anyways, sorry that my post turned into a bit of a rant/story. Just wanted
<(((*> to re-introduce myself again, and see whether anyone's had any experience
<(((*> with Wellbutrin XL. :^/
Hey there Shawn! I remember you. I'm glad to hear from you,
although I'm sorry that it's because you need a support group
again.
I was on Wellbutrin for about a year. It worked very well for me
at first, then after 8 or 9 months it pooped out.
I have a friend who took it for 5 years, though, with excellent
results and absolutely no poop-out.
I think it's well worth trying Wellbutrin, because it works on
dopamine as well as serotonin.
I switched to Effexor after the Wellbutrin, and your doctor might
consider that as a fallback position if the Wellbutrin doesn't
work for you.
Please keep us posted on how things go for you.
Tara J. Ballance
Montreal, Canada
.
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| User: "skubik" |
|
| Title: Re: Hello Again / Wellbutrin Experiences? |
24 Dec 2003 01:19:56 AM |
|
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wrote:
On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 23:19:59 GMT, skubik <vkube@yahoo.com> wrote:
<(((*> Anyways, sorry that my post turned into a bit of a rant/story. Just
wanted <(((*> to re-introduce myself again, and see whether anyone's had
any experience <(((*> with Wellbutrin XL. :^/
Hey there Shawn! I remember you. I'm glad to hear from you,
although I'm sorry that it's because you need a support group
again.
I was on Wellbutrin for about a year. It worked very well for me
at first, then after 8 or 9 months it pooped out.
I have a friend who took it for 5 years, though, with excellent
results and absolutely no poop-out.
I think it's well worth trying Wellbutrin, because it works on
dopamine as well as serotonin.
I switched to Effexor after the Wellbutrin, and your doctor might
consider that as a fallback position if the Wellbutrin doesn't
work for you.
Please keep us posted on how things go for you.
Hey Tara! Nice to see a familiar name in this ng.
Yeah, must be that time of year again to be hearing from me here eh? Can't
even blame the weather this time... it's been beautiful in Calgary the last
few weeks. JUST enough snow left over from the chinooks for a white
Christmas. :^)
I've done a little bit of reading on Wellbutrin XL, sounds kinda promising.
I've kinda resigned to the idea that if I'm going to take a drug to induce
an altered-mind-state, may as well take one that puts me into a state that
I can function like a normal human being in. I just hope it works well for
me. Last time I was on Paxil, it only drove me deeper down than if I wasn't
on it... but that was a cakewalk compared to what I'm going through these
days. At least back then I had a steady job and SOME kind of ambition to
move forward in life. Now, I don't know what to think or feel... about
anything, including my relationship with my gf.
What's the cost of that stuff like? Just so I know whether to start saving
now or not. :^/
- Shawn.
.
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| User: "" |
|
| Title: Re: Hello Again / Wellbutrin Experiences? |
24 Dec 2003 10:03:02 AM |
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On Wed, 24 Dec 2003 07:19:56 GMT, skubik <vkube@yahoo.com> wrote:
<(((*> What's the cost of that stuff like? Just so I know whether to start saving
<(((*> now or not. :^/
These are all Quebec prices, so they may differ in AB. Each of
these is a month's supply at the dosages I was receiving at the
time.
In October 2000, 60 tablets of Wellbutrin SR 100 mg was about
$43.00.
In July 2000, 30 tablets of Wellbutrin SR 150 mg was about
$32.00.
Same month, 30 tablets of Wellbutrin SR 100 mg was about $24.00.
For comparative purposes:
In June 2000, 30 tablets of Paxil 20 mg was about $62.00.
In November 2003, 30 capsules of Effexor XR 75 mg was about
$62.00.
For information purposes:
The pharmacist's fee in Quebec was about $5.00 in 2000. That's
why the cost of 30 Wellbutrin times 2 is $48.00 but the cost of
60 Wellbutrin is $43.00.
If your doctor is willing to write a prescription that allows you
to buy two or three months supply in a single refill, you can
save a few bucks on the pharmacist's fee. It's worth discussing
it with the doctor.
Also, if your doctor knows you're financially strapped, he/she
might give you a supply of samples so that you can experiment
with the meds and get the dosage right without you having to buy
the meds till you know they work.
Here's hoping that Wellbutrin gives you the kick you need to make
some good changes in your life!
Tara J. Ballance
Montreal, Canada
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| User: "juno7" |
|
| Title: Re: Hello Again / Wellbutrin Experiences? |
25 Dec 2003 09:21:47 PM |
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hey 'skubik' - i relate to a lot of things in your post. you gotta realize
though that some of those feelings are brought on by the 420, dont take
those dark thoughts so seriously, and i would really say try and take 3-5
days off and see how you feel then. and yes i do agree about the benefit of
seeing your life from 3rd person perspective.
"skubik" <vkube@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:z44Gb.796019$6C4.237351@pd7tw1no...
Hello ASD, I'm back... again...
Can't remember the last time I posted here, probably within the year, I
dunno... the whole year is a blur. To be honest, I don't feel like I've
moved forward through life at all... not in my head anyways. Outside in
this physical existance, time has moved, but my mind's been on pause for
most of it. I've finally hit absolute rock-bottom, not knowing what to
think or feel or even do from day to day. Random thoughts haunt me,
uninvited and unpleasant thoughts linger around me every second of every
day.
This weekend was the pinnacle of the rut I'm living in. Granted, I was
under
the influence of a LOT of pot, but pot has a funny effect of allowing me
to
view my life from a third-person perspective... and I saw how truly
terrible my existance is, and how I've hurt so many people around me,
especially myself. It scared the hell out of me, and my thoughts quickly
turned to "I don't want to be here", but at the same time "I don't want to
be anywhere else either" sounded through my mind. Since that night, I've
had a few very trying days, not knowing what to think or feel. Distancing
myself from my girlfriend of 4 years, who has gone through hell and back
dealing with me, especially this year. Unfortunately, this has been
building for a long time. I first was diagnosed with depression back in
1996, and I've been struggling with it ever since. I was on Paxil for
years, until in 2000 it simply had no effect on me anymore, and I went on
the idea of 'mind over matter', and that I would work hard at controlling
my depression on my own. I've tried St. Johns Wort, and 5-HTP, neither
worked very well. St. John's Wort actually brought me down! Since then,
it's only become worse. I believed that if I kept my mind occupied with
other things, school, work, personal projects, whatever... that the
depression wouldn't have a chance to affect me. It didn't work. Depression
only used my thoughts against me, infiltrating my mind like a hacker,
exploiting weaknesses wherever it could.
I haven't worked since March, I've barely been able to keep myself afloat
financially by working periodically at my Dad's accounting company, doing
odd-job IT work since I can't find IT work anywhere else. Whether it's
because there ARE no jobs, or I don't have enough experience or
credentials, I even had a place tell me I didn't get the job because I was
TOO qualified! I've applied to everywhere from major Fortune-500
companies,
to corner-store Copy & Print shops. Nothing comes out of any of them,
which
only adds to substantially lowering my self-esteem and worth.
I at least try and keep myself motivated by working on some of my own
soon-to-be-open-source projects, unfortunately my mind jumps me around all
over the place, so I work on a project, start working on something else
that interests me for a while, then sometimes I go back, but usually only
end up starting learning something new.
Having gone through all this, feeling like my head is permanently
disconnected from reality, I finally went to my doctor today. He's
prescribed Wellbutrin XL for me. However, since I don't know much about
this drug, I wanted to ask anyone whether they've had any experiences with
it. WHether they've found it to be effective, how long after you first
take
it does it start to kick in, and even how much it costs. Being unemployed
and having NO kind of prescription/health plan to help absorb the cost,
makes it difficult to try and get better. :^/
Anyways, sorry that my post turned into a bit of a rant/story. Just wanted
to re-introduce myself again, and see whether anyone's had any experience
with Wellbutrin XL. :^/
Thanks,
- skubik.
.
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