So tell us about yourself. What is happening in your life? Why?
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000
=====
"mingan99" <x_minganx@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
news:w5v2c.18419$JZ6.642822@news20.bellglobal.com...
hello to anyone who may be reading.
i haven't posted here in a *very* long time. about 6 yrs would be my
guess.
of course, it was under a different name. my goal now is to try to
be hidden
while at the same time airing my dirty laundry. - tell me if that
makes
sense!
things haven't gotten better and in fact i sometimes think this
heavy load
will never go away. every day it's the same fucking thing. i don't
want to
talk to anyone. i don't want to see anyone. i don't want to do
anything. all
i can think about is trying to find a way to stop these horrible
thoughts
and feelings. of course i can't find a way. sometimes i find
temporary
solutions...booze, blow, whatever fucks me up the most. but then i
wake up
in the morning and i feel guilty for everything i've done. i feel
worthless
and stupid and ugly.
i don't understand why it has to be this way. i don't understand why
everyone else seems to be getting along fine in life and i'm stuck.
pathetic. going nowhere. getting nothing done. barely existing. i
don't know
why i'm even here. i guess maybe it's so others can feel superior.
i wish i could talk to someone and feel safe doing it. i wish they
would
understand what i'm saying. i wish i could feel safe everyday,
everywhere
with everyone. i wish i had confidence.
that's enough of my rambling for now i suppose. thanks for reading.
mingan
(p.s. sorry for cussing, if that offends you)
.
