| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"wombn" |
| Date: |
15 Dec 2003 08:08:20 PM |
| Object: |
HMO Faq (humor) |
Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." It's roots
go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who
discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in
his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the
doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors on the
plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who
are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but
are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the
remaining doctor who is still on the plan and accepting new patients
has an office just a half-day's drive away and has a diploma from a
Third World Country.
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name
brand. I tried the generic kind but it gave me a stomach ache. What
should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
do transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $15
co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
.
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