House Search Trauma


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Topic: Sociology > Depression
User: "Rosena"
Date: 25 Apr 2005 09:57:44 PM
Object: House Search Trauma
Note how everything is trauma. Trying to prove to this gut that we can
afford to rent his house (which we can't) by putting together bank
statements, fellowship award document, promises that I will teach in
summer, getting Leif's dad to send $10,000 tonight etc. etc. I am
going to call and sweet talk tomorrow.
Really want this house for some reason. It looks big (1800 sqaure feet)
and keeps Maria and I on one floor, Leif's bedroom and studio on third
floor and common area of living room dinning room etc on middle floor.
That was Leif and I stay out of each other's way more and all is calmer
(and Maria is upstairs giggling with me!)
It is blue and has mature big trees and a fireplace!!! And a den for me
to spread all books, papers, maps, and achlemy (joking) like a womanish
monk. I am like a fuzzy old lady. Once I know there is a definite house
to go to and put our stuff, I don't feel so homeless and drifting
(which I do in these transitions).
THNAK YOU GOD for Leif's father who never fails to help out when I have
to do the student thing (he practically put me through Yale).
Okay -- do something Rosena besides fretting and using ambien to calm
down. Need to talk to this damn P.doc. tomorrow.
Rosena
Oh point of this post is waiting for relator to get back to me and say
we check out. I HATE waiting.
me
.

User: ""

Title: Re: House Search Trauma 26 Apr 2005 10:22:23 AM
Good morning,
I have no advice , my life is such a wreck I don't feel qualifyed to
comment
I want you to know I am routing for you. I think you are so brave.
jill
Kids are people too. be honest with maria. I hope she doesn't get in
her head that she can fix things between you and her father or that she
is somehow to blame . You might want to talk to her about that just to
be sure she understands thats crazy! Kids can sometimes get the idea
that its them.
.
User: "Rosena"

Title: Re: House Search Trauma 26 Apr 2005 12:11:00 PM
There is my Jill! Why is your life a wreck? Can I help, listen? I
don't like to think of you having a hard time. Thanks for vote of
confidence. I talk pretty regular to Maria to try to keep her secure
and grounded. I think she knows that she cannot fix things. Actually
she is very potective of me and has insight into all that has happened
.. . .even John (which I DO NOT talk to her about).
PLEASE post or email and tell me what is going on with you.
R. :)
.


User: "Patience"

Title: Re: House Search Trauma 25 Apr 2005 11:05:36 PM
Hi Rosenna,
I hope the house things works out well. If you are trying to cohabit
with Leif for the three more years, the more space each of you has, the
better. Are you pretty sure that this is the best arrangement? I would
imagine it is for Maria, who loves you both, however either you or
Maria's father may find yourselves badly wanting (or needing) a
"personal life" at some point in the next three years. What happens
then? I do not ask as part of a rhetorical attempt to convince you to
do other than you have planned, I am just curious if you and Leif have
spoken of this, and how the issue could be handled without a lot big
problems should it arise... Besides being parents, both of you are
people, too. If Maria's father is becoming somewhat abusive, it may be
because he is feeling a little trapped. Three more years, even in a
big house is a long time. Most certainly, while it may work
financially, and allow Maria to live with both her Mother & Father, it
COULD become a very serious source of psychological stress for you. You
could use less stress... not more.
Take Care,
Christopher
P.S. I imagine you are going to school for your doctorate. While I am
sure you would like to have this bit of decorum, contrary to what your
piers may tacitly suggest, you will not be a wortheless bum who is
going to Hell if you say, "Forget it- this isn't worth it!"
.
User: "Rosena"

Title: Re: House Search Trauma 26 Apr 2005 12:08:34 PM
Dear Christopher,
Hi. Thank you for thoughtful reply. Yes, we are going to try to stay
in same house for three more years. We have talked about what happens
if we wish to become involved with someone. Indeed, I am rather
determined to find my soul mate :) We have no problems with the other
becoming involved, it is simply logistics. Maria understands the
situation as complicated as it is.
BUT - best idea is Maria and I on our own. I am working on it. Your
thoughts were on target.
I will obtain the PhD. I am very very determined to stay in teaching
and it is only way. But I also know it is a long road eh? Need to
take it slow and careful. Hope your day is going well.
Best
Rosena
.



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