Sociology > Depression > "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _TheOnion_)
| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Noon Cat Nick" |
| Date: |
16 Sep 2004 06:56:49 PM |
| Object: |
"Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _TheOnion_) |
from http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4036
WASHINGTON, DC--George Washington Memorial Hospital is struggling to
deal with an influx of Republicans with concussions, broken bones, and
internal injuries suffered during the recent stampede to discredit
Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, emergency-room personnel
reported Monday.
"Triage is in utter chaos," paramedic Gerald Polder said. "This guy in a
suit came in with multiple contusions, a subdural hematoma, and a broken
nose. I asked how badly it hurt to bend his knee, on a scale of 1 to 10,
and he said, 'I'm hurt worse than Kerry was when he got his Purple
Hearts.' That's not helpful."
Polder said he has not seen so many right-wing injuries since the late
'90s, when hundreds of Republicans were hurt climbing on and off the
Newt Gingrich bandwagon.
While squashed toes have been the most common injury, the more dramatic
include the skull and spine fractures suffered by an elderly senator who
was trampled in the mad dash to smear, bash, and cast aspersions on
Kerry. Many of those bearing sound bites also have dislocated joints in
those places where their fingers were pried from microphones.
"I was in the crowd on the National Archive steps," conservative
_Washington Times_ columnist Paul Greenberg said, holding his head as he
awaited treatment for deep shock and moral outrage. "When I realized
everyone else there also wanted abstracts of Kerry's congressional
voting records, I started to run. I guess we all had the same idea at
the same time. It feels like I got rolled over by a 10-ton think tank."
"I was lucky, though," Greenberg said, wrapping himself in the flag.
"Worst thing hurt was my pride."
Washington has reported the largest number of casualties, but across the
nation, reports are still coming in from politically "red" states made
redder by the spilled blood of conservatives caught in the maelstrom of
accusations and flailing bodies.
"It's bad down here," Savannah (GA) General Hospital director Lloyd
Sautner said. "We were still treating hurricane victims when all these
politicians were hurt in the whirlwind of manufactured controversy.
Anywhere there were reporters and TV cameras, Republicans were climbing
all over each other in an effort to be heard."
Los Angeles producer Margaret Oakes said the set of the TV show
"Roundtable" was overrun with frantic conservatives.
"I tried telling them to stop, that they were only hurting themselves,
but they didn't seem to fear for their credibility one bit," Oakes said.
"One woman tried to get to the front of the crowd, slipped, and fell
face-first into a forest of microphone stands. When I asked her where
she was hurt, she said, 'the cheek...of that man to misrepresent his
voting record on gay marriage.'"
Rep. Chris Shays (R-CT) called for an end to the zealotry that has
already resulted in the hospitalization of 86 GOP members.
"Let us not rush to judgment and inadvertently hurt our own image,"
Shays said Sunday. "This Republican-on-Republican violence must end."
Shays added that his prayers are with Rush Limbaugh's family. The
conservative radio personality died Tuesday when a busload of pro-Bush
Vietnam veterans, in their rush to lambast Kerry on the air, ran a red
light, swerved to avoid a carload of _National Review_ reporters, and
smashed through the wall of the Excellence In Broadcasting studio,
killing Limbaugh and three sound technicians.
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| User: "Charles" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
16 Sep 2004 10:48:16 PM |
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Cubans: Fidel Defeated Hurricane Ivan
Thursday, September 16, 2004
HAVANA — Fidel Castro was a constant presence during Hurricane Ivan's
approach to the island nation this week, appearing for hours on state
television to assuage Cubans' fears, underscoring his larger-than-life
role in this socialist society.
"Ivan couldn't go up against Fidel," read a headline in the Communist
Party youth paper Juventud Rebelde (search) on Wednesday. A poem read
over state radio Tuesday night said Castro's "thumb" pushed Ivan away
from the island and into the Gulf of Mexico.
On Monday, hours before Ivan struck, Castro traveled to the western
province of Pinar del Rio (search) to discuss disaster preparations
with authorities. Residents shouted: "Fidel! Fidel!" when his caravan
passed.
One woman in the tobacco-growing region said residents were happy to
have their leader close by.
"Fidel protects us from all bad things," 78-year-old Elsa Ramos said
Monday.
Castro appeared live on state television for several consecutive days,
discussing weather patterns with the island's top meteorologist and
asking Civil Defense officials about evacuation plans.
State-run media on Wednesday played up Castro's role in preparedness
plans and applauded local organizations for evacuating nearly 1.9
million of the island's 11.3 million citizens.
No deaths or injuries were reported in Cuba after Ivan — one of the
most powerful storms to strike the Caribbean in the past century —
swept past Cuba's western tip Monday before heading toward the United
States.
Ivan killed at least 68 people in Jamaica, Grenada, Venezuela, Tobago,
Barbados, the Dominican Republic and Haiti.
In the first official damage report, authorities told Juventud Rebelde
that Ivan damaged more than 1,600 tobacco curing houses in Pinar del
Rio's 80 percent of orange and grapefruit harvests and 2,680 hectares
of banana groves. No monetary figures were given for the damage.
Hurricane Ivan dominated media coverage for nearly a week leading to
its arrival. As Ivan followed a route that initially was expected to
bring it straight through Cuba's capital, Castro attended state
television's nightly "Mesa Redonda" discussion program.
During the live discussions, Castro chatted with Jose Rubiera, head of
Cuba's National Meteorology Institute (search), about how hurricanes
form, the history of major storms, and Ivan's likely trajectory.
Castro also addressed the need to protect schools and farm animals,
with program host Randy Alonso frequently nodding in agreement.
One night when Rubiera, a household name in Cuba, wasn't present,
Castro tracked him down on cell phone and repeated the meteorologist's
answers aloud for the audience.
"I don't know if there exists in the world another president who puts
aside his other functions to line up alongside his people," writer
Celia Hart wrote in a Juventud Rebelde opinion article.
When it became clear Ivan would spare Havana, capital residents
relaxed. But they still looked to Castro as they worried about friends
and family in the west.
"Fidel hauled us to engaged safety, with his smile and multiple
physical expressions," wrote Hart. "It was as if he was the one who
sealed the windows of my house."
--
- Charles
-
-does not play well with others
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| User: "=^.^=" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 12:06:02 AM |
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On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 03:48:16 GMT, Charles <ckraft@SPAMTRAPwest.net>
wrote:
"Fidel hauled us to engaged safety, with his smile and multiple
physical expressions," wrote Hart. "It was as if he was the one who
sealed the windows of my house."
and this is someone the United States defiles?
this action? it isn't a show to dupe the people
it is real, and staged to help them better
it is rare a leader does this except as a lie
and if it is true, that person isn't a leader for long
they become a danger to a few people, and those people kill
remember, we had a coup in the early sixties and nobody knew
we have had others since then...
if our history continues, it may reveal these things
but this is more than a hundred years in coming
if history isn't re-invented by those few who kill
yes, they will likely still be around. they breed...
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 02:13:13 AM |
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The Onion is a spoof paper. Or so I thought.
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 05:06:02 GMT, =^.^= <=^.^=@=^.^=> wrote:
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 03:48:16 GMT, Charles <ckraft@SPAMTRAPwest.net>
wrote:
"Fidel hauled us to engaged safety, with his smile and multiple
physical expressions," wrote Hart. "It was as if he was the one who
sealed the windows of my house."
and this is someone the United States defiles?
this action? it isn't a show to dupe the people
it is real, and staged to help them better
it is rare a leader does this except as a lie
and if it is true, that person isn't a leader for long
they become a danger to a few people, and those people kill
remember, we had a coup in the early sixties and nobody knew
we have had others since then...
if our history continues, it may reveal these things
but this is more than a hundred years in coming
if history isn't re-invented by those few who kill
yes, they will likely still be around. they breed...
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist:
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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| User: "=^.^=" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 04:15:36 AM |
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On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 07:13:13 GMT, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
The Onion is a spoof paper. Or so I thought.
I'm just acutely aware of Cuba. itz an exception to the norm
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| User: "Charles" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 07:41:20 AM |
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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,132610,00.html
Not the Onion this time.
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 07:13:13 GMT, wombn <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net>
wrote:
The Onion is a spoof paper. Or so I thought.
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 05:06:02 GMT, =^.^= <=^.^=@=^.^=> wrote:
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 03:48:16 GMT, Charles <ckraft@SPAMTRAPwest.net>
wrote:
"Fidel hauled us to engaged safety, with his smile and multiple
physical expressions," wrote Hart. "It was as if he was the one who
sealed the windows of my house."
and this is someone the United States defiles?
this action? it isn't a show to dupe the people
it is real, and staged to help them better
it is rare a leader does this except as a lie
and if it is true, that person isn't a leader for long
they become a danger to a few people, and those people kill
remember, we had a coup in the early sixties and nobody knew
we have had others since then...
if our history continues, it may reveal these things
but this is more than a hundred years in coming
if history isn't re-invented by those few who kill
yes, they will likely still be around. they breed...
--
- Charles
-
-does not play well with others
.
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from_The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 02:31:39 PM |
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Charles wrote:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,132610,00.html
Not the Onion this time.
Well, it's Fox News--every bit as credible a source.
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| User: "Dr. Siddhartha Vicious" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 03:17:31 PM |
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x-no-archive:yes
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@catlover.com> wrote in message
news:414B3B8F.DC5468C5@catlover.com...
Charles wrote:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,132610,00.html
Not the Onion this time.
Well, it's Fox News--every bit as credible a source.
I find this offensive. The Onion is much more credible.
--
One of many Bush flip-flops: _A week after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, Bush
said he wanted Osama bin Laden "dead or alive." But he told reporters six
months later, "I truly am not that concerned about him." He did not mention
bin Laden in his hour-long convention acceptance speech.
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| User: "=^.^=" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
18 Sep 2004 03:18:53 AM |
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On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 12:41:20 GMT, Charles <ckraft@SPAMTRAPwest.net>
wrote:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,132610,00.html
Not the Onion this time.
too-bad our leaders are such weak lies and falsehoods
it took a long time for Rome to go-down
less for Britan, Spain, and France, but they sure mucked
with the clean ethnics of places far from their own lands
now, America has processed the industrialism that had a
start in Europe, and distilled it into a world-killing poison
that nation shall pass in less time than the old imperialists
no medications or cognitive therapy will fix this illness...
anyway, the ice will come, no matter what
insufficient time to develop and harness the amount of
energy needed to modify the enviornmental processes
in a healthy way, and preserve the strain of twoleggeds
insufficient time, because of petty squabbles and barbarism
the price is extinction, and the planet will heal itself, later...
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| User: "dennis" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
17 Sep 2004 04:52:04 PM |
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On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 03:48:16 GMT, Charles <ckraft@SPAMTRAPwest.net>
wrote:
Cubans: Fidel Defeated Hurricane Ivan
Thursday, September 16, 2004
HAVANA — Fidel Castro was a constant presence during Hurricane Ivan's
approach to the island nation this week, appearing for hours on state
television to assuage Cubans' fears, underscoring his larger-than-life
role in this socialist society.
"Ivan couldn't go up against Fidel," read a headline in the Communist
Party youth paper Juventud Rebelde (search) on Wednesday. A poem read
over state radio Tuesday night said Castro's "thumb" pushed Ivan away
from the island and into the Gulf of Mexico.
On Monday, hours before Ivan struck, Castro traveled to the western
province of Pinar del Rio (search) to discuss disaster preparations
with authorities. Residents shouted: "Fidel! Fidel!" when his caravan
passed.
One woman in the tobacco-growing region said residents were happy to
have their leader close by.
"Fidel protects us from all bad things," 78-year-old Elsa Ramos said
Monday.
Castro appeared live on state television for several consecutive days,
discussing weather patterns with the island's top meteorologist and
asking Civil Defense officials about evacuation plans.
State-run media on Wednesday played up Castro's role in preparedness
plans and applauded local organizations for evacuating nearly 1.9
million of the island's 11.3 million citizens.
No deaths or injuries were reported in Cuba after Ivan — one of the
most powerful storms to strike the Caribbean in the past century —
swept past Cuba's western tip Monday before heading toward the United
States.
Ivan killed at least 68 people in Jamaica, Grenada, Venezuela, Tobago,
Barbados, the Dominican Republic and Haiti.
In the first official damage report, authorities told Juventud Rebelde
that Ivan damaged more than 1,600 tobacco curing houses in Pinar del
Rio's 80 percent of orange and grapefruit harvests and 2,680 hectares
of banana groves. No monetary figures were given for the damage.
Hurricane Ivan dominated media coverage for nearly a week leading to
its arrival. As Ivan followed a route that initially was expected to
bring it straight through Cuba's capital, Castro attended state
television's nightly "Mesa Redonda" discussion program.
During the live discussions, Castro chatted with Jose Rubiera, head of
Cuba's National Meteorology Institute (search), about how hurricanes
form, the history of major storms, and Ivan's likely trajectory.
Castro also addressed the need to protect schools and farm animals,
with program host Randy Alonso frequently nodding in agreement.
One night when Rubiera, a household name in Cuba, wasn't present,
Castro tracked him down on cell phone and repeated the meteorologist's
answers aloud for the audience.
"I don't know if there exists in the world another president who puts
aside his other functions to line up alongside his people," writer
Celia Hart wrote in a Juventud Rebelde opinion article.
When it became clear Ivan would spare Havana, capital residents
relaxed. But they still looked to Castro as they worried about friends
and family in the west.
"Fidel hauled us to engaged safety, with his smile and multiple
physical expressions," wrote Hart. "It was as if he was the one who
sealed the windows of my house."
and this is why we really can't get castro out of cuba. our dislike
won't overcome the number of cubans (in cuba) that love him.
.
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| User: "Hap Arnold" |
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| Title: Re: "Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry" (from _The Onion_) |
18 Sep 2004 11:20:00 AM |
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"dennis" <later@notnow.net> wrote in message
news:j1nmk0tt7n3lnjhf29c4p848qvnj118fs7@4ax.com...
On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 03:48:16 GMT, Charles <ckraft@SPAMTRAPwest.net>
wrote:
Cubans: Fidel Defeated Hurricane Ivan
and this is why we really can't get castro out of cuba. our dislike
won't overcome the number of cubans (in cuba) that love him.
which is why containment is being used.
popularity is not a legitimate defense for tyranny.
--
E Sempre l'Ora
--
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