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"Jane" <jarsenal66@hotmail.com> wrote in message
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On Jan 29, 11:22 pm, "%" <pers...@gmail.com> wrote:

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"Bruce." <n...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
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"Jane" <jarsenal66nos...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
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I agree Bruce and I really don't believe it was my fault,
but
some
how
every once in while my inner child is screaming out how
unjust
my
childhood was, then I calm that child down and she goes
to sleep
for a
while. I just wonder what wakes her up?

I wish I knew. I have my own demons that haunt me from
time to
time.

It's hard to not feel the anger over and over again with
the
memories
burned in so deeply. We intellectually accept and
overcome the
memories
in the short term, but the deep seated emotions can never
be
suppressed
forever. There are too many triggers that eventually bring
them
to
the
surface again, and strike when we're least able to handle
the
pain.

Bruce.

You said that well!

and good psychotherapy can fix it ,
if you're up to the work envolved

honestly I don't know if I am. I think I would be if I didn't
have to
face
everyday life and did in patient therp...

yea i can see that

I think my biggest problem is knowing I have bills to pay,
responsibilities
etc, and my mental health comes second to that... Not necessarily
a bad
thing, but not a good thing either. So if I could just have
someone
take
over everything, if I could give up all those responsibility and
do
strict
inpatient therp, I could probably get somewhere.

most but not all who get that kind of therapy ,
have nothing when they begin they've already lost all that

I think fear losing everything, more then I fear being mentally
unstable...the only thing wrong with you is ,

there's nothing wrong with you- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -

Well thank you... You are the first person to have ever said that to
me I think.

well that's me ain't it

Yes wonderfully unique

i came here from alt.abuse.recovery

Wanting to connect, wanting recognition, approval, acknowledgement for
things in our past can be very very very important emotionally, sometimes
just to get closure. I read you Elegy! I'm here for you if you need me.

long ago and far away, "Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> did say:

I was trying to think of the perfect heart felt response and Bobbi you took
the words and wrote them out for me.

Elegy I'm always here for you and you can send me letters if you like, I
understand its not the same but I would be blessed to get letters from
someone as kind and wonderful as you are!

You are loved by many!

i have this weird need right now to connect with someone who knew me
way back when. i know it doesn't make sense. i know. and she was
oblivious, but maybe she knew and just didn't say. maybe i wasn't such
a good playactor as i thought. who knows. but if she knew, she never
saved me. nobody ever saved me.

oh wah poor pity me. this is all so fucking stupid.

--
And now, each night I count the stars.
And each night I get the same number. (Amiri Baraka)
http://shattering.org
x-no-archive: yes in the headers

Elegy,
If I was your mom, I would be so proud of the person I see in your
blog. I am proud to think of you as a friend.

Wish you were here, this Mom would hug you tight and listen to your
secrets and never tell a one.

Sorry for the sadness. I know it hurts.

Someone in Miami loves you...

((((({{{{{elegy}}}}})))))

Bobbie

Elegy,
If I was your mom, I would be so proud of the person I see in your
blog. I am proud to think of you as a friend.

Wish you were here, this Mom would hug you tight and listen to your
secrets and never tell a one.

Sorry for the sadness. I know it hurts.

Someone in Miami loves you...

((((({{{{{elegy}}}}})))))

Bobbie

On Jan 28, 8:28 pm, elegy <e...@shatteringDOGPOOP.org> wrote:

so full of sadness tonight, so choked with aloneness for which i have
no explanation. writing letters in my head to people from my past,
knowing i shouldn't commit the words to paper and send them, but still
tempted. still looking for somebody to mother me.

once upon a time there was this woman, and she was kind to me, and
then she left. and i've scrawled letters to her and sent them winging
across the state, but not for years. not for years. i don't even know
if she's still where she last was. i don't know if she even wants to
hear from me. i don't know anything anymore except how much i just
want to tell somebody all my secrets and have them tell me i'm still
ok.

--
"i don't condone the liquefaction of pixies!" (kilgore trout)http://shattering.org
x-no-archive:yes in the headers- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text -

Elegy,
If I was your mom, I would be so proud of the person I see in your
blog. I am proud to think of you as a friend.

Wish you were here, this Mom would hug you tight and listen to your
secrets and never tell a one.

Sorry for the sadness. I know it hurts.

Someone in Miami loves you...

((((({{{{{elegy}}}}})))))

Bobbie

On Jan 28, 8:28 pm, elegy <e...@shatteringDOGPOOP.org> wrote:

so full of sadness tonight, so choked with aloneness for which i have
no explanation. writing letters in my head to people from my past,
knowing i shouldn't commit the words to paper and send them, but still
tempted. still looking for somebody to mother me.

once upon a time there was this woman, and she was kind to me, and
then she left. and i've scrawled letters to her and sent them winging
across the state, but not for years. not for years. i don't even know
if she's still where she last was. i don't know if she even wants to
hear from me. i don't know anything anymore except how much i just
want to tell somebody all my secrets and have them tell me i'm still
ok.

--
"i don't condone the liquefaction of pixies!" (kilgore trout)http://shattering.org
x-no-archive:yes in the headers

so full of sadness tonight, so choked with aloneness for which i have
no explanation. writing letters in my head to people from my past,
knowing i shouldn't commit the words to paper and send them, but still
tempted. still looking for somebody to mother me.

once upon a time there was this woman, and she was kind to me, and
then she left. and i've scrawled letters to her and sent them winging
across the state, but not for years. not for years. i don't even know
if she's still where she last was. i don't know if she even wants to
hear from me. i don't know anything anymore except how much i just
want to tell somebody all my secrets and have them tell me i'm still
ok.

--
"i don't condone the liquefaction of pixies!" (kilgore trout)
http://shattering.org
x-no-archive:yes in the headers

so full of sadness tonight, so choked with aloneness for which i have
no explanation. writing letters in my head to people from my past,
knowing i shouldn't commit the words to paper and send them, but still
tempted. still looking for somebody to mother me.

once upon a time there was this woman, and she was kind to me, and
then she left. and i've scrawled letters to her and sent them winging
across the state, but not for years. not for years. i don't even know
if she's still where she last was. i don't know if she even wants to
hear from me. i don't know anything anymore except how much i just
want to tell somebody all my secrets and have them tell me i'm still
ok.

so full of sadness tonight, so choked with aloneness for which i have
no explanation. writing letters in my head to people from my past,
knowing i shouldn't commit the words to paper and send them, but still
tempted. still looking for somebody to mother me.

once upon a time there was this woman, and she was kind to me, and
then she left. and i've scrawled letters to her and sent them winging
across the state, but not for years. not for years. i don't even know
if she's still where she last was. i don't know if she even wants to
hear from me. i don't know anything anymore except how much i just
want to tell somebody all my secrets and have them tell me i'm still
ok.