Sociology > Depression > I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder
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Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Tim J." |
| Date: |
04 Jul 2003 01:35:28 AM |
| Object: |
I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder |
Every once in a while, I'll unintentionally say or do something that
pisses her off. While it might bounce right off a person without
Bipolar, with her, it becomes a huge issue. I think this time, it was
my daughter's (she's 13) refusal to stay at her house for a month
during this summer. She said she wanted to hang out with her friends
at home this summer and didn't want to get stuck babysitting her 6
year old niece and nephew. Well, this family member (who lives 500
miles away) now won't answer my phone calls or e-mails. This isn't
the first time this has happened, but if my guess is correct, it's the
first time it's involved my kids. I just don't know how much more of
this I can put up with. She gets *****, won't tell me why she's
mad, ignores me for a year or two, then finally contacts me again,
acting like nothing's happened. How long can I be expected to play
this game with her? I wish I could do more for her during her
troubled times, but I have my own family to raise. At this point, if
she were to call, I think I'd just hang up on her.
End of rant.
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolardisorder |
04 Jul 2003 06:33:48 AM |
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"Tim J." wrote:
Every once in a while, I'll unintentionally say or do something that
pisses her off. While it might bounce right off a person without
Bipolar, with her, it becomes a huge issue. I think this time, it was
my daughter's (she's 13) refusal to stay at her house for a month
during this summer. She said she wanted to hang out with her friends
at home this summer and didn't want to get stuck babysitting her 6
year old niece and nephew. Well, this family member (who lives 500
miles away) now won't answer my phone calls or e-mails. This isn't
the first time this has happened, but if my guess is correct, it's the
first time it's involved my kids. I just don't know how much more of
this I can put up with. She gets *****, won't tell me why she's
mad, ignores me for a year or two, then finally contacts me again,
acting like nothing's happened. How long can I be expected to play
this game with her? I wish I could do more for her during her
troubled times, but I have my own family to raise. At this point, if
she were to call, I think I'd just hang up on her.
End of rant.
It is frustrating... just ask my wife.
It doesn't matter what the disease happens to be because it is a
simply a question of commitment. Your commitment and hers. I have
seen relationships work and fail and they cross the entire
spectrum of problems.
You are being tested and it is a question of commitment. For some
people, nothing will break their commitment to each other. For
others...
GlennT
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| User: "Tim J." |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder |
04 Jul 2003 10:22:04 AM |
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On Fri, 04 Jul 2003 23:33:48 +1200, GlennT <askme@noname.com> wrote:
It doesn't matter what the disease happens to be because it is a
simply a question of commitment. Your commitment and hers. I have
seen relationships work and fail and they cross the entire
spectrum of problems.
You are being tested and it is a question of commitment. For some
people, nothing will break their commitment to each other. For
others...
Good point, but I don't see any commitment coming the other way. And
when my kids start asking what they might have done to ***** her off,
then she's screwing with their heads now.
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolardisorder |
04 Jul 2003 06:45:34 PM |
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"Tim J." wrote:
On Fri, 04 Jul 2003 23:33:48 +1200, GlennT <askme@noname.com> wrote:
It doesn't matter what the disease happens to be because it is a
simply a question of commitment. Your commitment and hers. I have
seen relationships work and fail and they cross the entire
spectrum of problems.
You are being tested and it is a question of commitment. For some
people, nothing will break their commitment to each other. For
others...
Good point, but I don't see any commitment coming the other way. And
when my kids start asking what they might have done to ***** her off,
then she's screwing with their heads now.
Then fight. Don't accept behaviour that is unacceptable
particularly towards the kids. Demand a certain level of
behaviour and reward her when she attempts it. She is thinking
like a baby so treat her like one.
She might not like it, but then, tough...
GlennT
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| User: "Tim J." |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder |
05 Jul 2003 01:07:04 PM |
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On Sat, 05 Jul 2003 11:45:34 +1200, GlennT <askme@noname.com> wrote:
"Tim J." wrote:
On Fri, 04 Jul 2003 23:33:48 +1200, GlennT <askme@noname.com> wrote:
It doesn't matter what the disease happens to be because it is a
simply a question of commitment. Your commitment and hers. I have
seen relationships work and fail and they cross the entire
spectrum of problems.
You are being tested and it is a question of commitment. For some
people, nothing will break their commitment to each other. For
others...
Good point, but I don't see any commitment coming the other way. And
when my kids start asking what they might have done to ***** her off,
then she's screwing with their heads now.
Then fight. Don't accept behaviour that is unacceptable
particularly towards the kids. Demand a certain level of
behaviour and reward her when she attempts it. She is thinking
like a baby so treat her like one.
She might not like it, but then, tough...
Thanks for the advice, but it's kind of hard to fight when she won't
answer my e-mails or won't answer the phone. She has caller ID and
will not answer a call from a number she doesn't know, nor will she
answer my calls now. My only recourse is to drive 500 miles and knock
on her door, and I'm just not going to do that. She's done this
before, and I've always been forgiving and been her shoulder to cry
on, but no more.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder |
04 Jul 2003 05:48:52 AM |
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On Fri, 04 Jul 2003 02:35:28 -0400, Tim J. <tj66821@usa.not> wrote:
Every once in a while, I'll unintentionally say or do something that
pisses her off. While it might bounce right off a person without
Bipolar, with her, it becomes a huge issue. I think this time, it was
my daughter's (she's 13) refusal to stay at her house for a month
during this summer. She said she wanted to hang out with her friends
at home this summer and didn't want to get stuck babysitting her 6
year old niece and nephew. Well, this family member (who lives 500
miles away) now won't answer my phone calls or e-mails. This isn't
the first time this has happened, but if my guess is correct, it's the
first time it's involved my kids. I just don't know how much more of
this I can put up with.
what happens when your limit is reached?
She gets *****, won't tell me why she's
mad, ignores me for a year or two, then finally contacts me again,
acting like nothing's happened. How long can I be expected to play
this game with her?
Assuming this family member is an ex-wife ... until you no longer want
your kids in your life?
I wish I could do more for her during her
troubled times, but I have my own family to raise. At this point, if
she were to call, I think I'd just hang up on her.
End of rant.
so is there something you wanted to ask us?
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| User: "Tim J." |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder |
04 Jul 2003 10:18:25 AM |
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On Fri, 04 Jul 2003 10:48:52 GMT, wombn <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net>
wrote:
Every once in a while, I'll unintentionally say or do something that
pisses her off. While it might bounce right off a person without
Bipolar, with her, it becomes a huge issue. I think this time, it was
my daughter's (she's 13) refusal to stay at her house for a month
during this summer. She said she wanted to hang out with her friends
at home this summer and didn't want to get stuck babysitting her 6
year old niece and nephew. Well, this family member (who lives 500
miles away) now won't answer my phone calls or e-mails. This isn't
the first time this has happened, but if my guess is correct, it's the
first time it's involved my kids. I just don't know how much more of
this I can put up with.
what happens when your limit is reached?
The end of my limit will be reached when I no longer want anything to
do with her. I'm afraid I may now be at that point.
She gets *****, won't tell me why she's
mad, ignores me for a year or two, then finally contacts me again,
acting like nothing's happened. How long can I be expected to play
this game with her?
Assuming this family member is an ex-wife ... until you no longer want
your kids in your life?
Your assumption is incorrect. It's my deceased wife's sister. I
thought the "niece and nephew" statement would have given a clue.
I wish I could do more for her during her
troubled times, but I have my own family to raise. At this point, if
she were to call, I think I'd just hang up on her.
End of rant.
so is there something you wanted to ask us?
Well, there was one question in there, but it was more rhetorical,
hence the "end of rant" statement. Sometimes I feel like I just have
to put my frustrations down in phosphor.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolar disorder |
04 Jul 2003 07:38:44 PM |
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In alt.support.depression on Friday 04 Jul 2003 4:18 pm, Tim J.
<tj66821@usa.not> wrote:
snip
Well, there was one question in there, but it was more rhetorical,
hence the "end of rant" statement. Sometimes I feel like I just have
to put my frustrations down in phosphor.
It does sometimes help, doesn't it :))
I know someone who behaves rather like your sister-in-law; best of friends
one day, not speaking at all the next, then back to all pals again; the
person I know is not Bipolar, or Depressed, she's just flighty and
unpredictable and been like that for as long as anyone can remember. She's
never 'not talking' to everyone at once; there's always some poor victim
getting their ear bent and having to be effusive with thanks for little
favours and gifts. Then BAM! some slight or other is imagined, and it's
all change ... any kids caught in the crossfire have to learn fast, or
she'll start driving wedges into families.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: I am really getting tired of dealing with a family member's Bipolardisorder |
04 Jul 2003 12:09:51 PM |
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You're frustrated, an justifiably, but it's also an emotion that's easy
to name and conceptualize. What's the BP person going through you think?
Perhaps many shades of terror worse?, dunno.
Tim J. wrote:
Every once in a while, I'll unintentionally say or do something that
pisses her off. While it might bounce right off a person without
Bipolar, with her, it becomes a huge issue. I think this time, it was
my daughter's (she's 13) refusal to stay at her house for a month
during this summer. She said she wanted to hang out with her friends
at home this summer and didn't want to get stuck babysitting her 6
year old niece and nephew. Well, this family member (who lives 500
miles away) now won't answer my phone calls or e-mails. This isn't
the first time this has happened, but if my guess is correct, it's the
first time it's involved my kids. I just don't know how much more of
this I can put up with. She gets *****, won't tell me why she's
mad, ignores me for a year or two, then finally contacts me again,
acting like nothing's happened. How long can I be expected to play
this game with her? I wish I could do more for her during her
troubled times, but I have my own family to raise. At this point, if
she were to call, I think I'd just hang up on her.
End of rant.
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