| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"-- TW" |
| Date: |
10 Apr 2007 04:41:43 PM |
| Object: |
I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
I do not want meds, so please don't suggest that.
I am at the lowest point in my entire (47yrs) life.
Pretty much everything is collapsing around me.
Everything?!?
YES -- pretty much everything.
I'm SO depressed, I'm not even suicidal. I'm just plain numb +
lifeless.
I'm relying ONLY on the ASSUMPTION that things MUST get better ----
eventually.
I need the support of a WISE person.
Not an ALMOST wise person or a PSEUDO wise person.
I need to talk to a mensch.
My father was one -- but he died many years ago -- I have
'conversations' with him in my mind all the time -- but that doesn't
seem to work any more.
Is there anyone out there who'd be willing to give me some guidance.
I cannot afford any counseling, etc.
I cannot afford (+ don't want to take) meds.
On the other hand, I need to find a way to SURVIVE this feeling of
UTTER hopelessness.
God help me. (although it appears He's given up on me (too)).
BTW, I'm not religious and only slightly spiritual.
I'm just throwing out a distress call on this forum -- hoping against
hope that someone can 'take on' my case, so to speak.
People don't realize how DEPENDENT they are on the support systems
they have -- sometimes without even realizing it.
Eneryone is 'floating' on those support systems, even if they don't
know it!
When ALL of those sstems FAIL at once, one goes into FREEFALL.
That's where I am now. All my support systems have FAILED at the same
time, including my primary one -- my girlfriend of 10 years.
The world is giving me a vote of NO CONFIDENCE -- all at the same time.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 08:17:33 PM |
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"-- TW" <wenkmagic@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1176241303.327868.147760@8g2000cwh.googlegroups.com...
<snipped for brevity>
The world is giving me a vote of NO CONFIDENCE -- all at the same time.
Wow. You have a lot on your plate at the moment. I'm so sorry you're going
through this. When the world caves in on you like that you can barely
breathe eh? I understand that the dark place you're in now makes it
impossible for you to see a tomorrow but with the right medical intervention
you can become well again. Whether that be medication or therapy or a
combination of both I think your mental health and perhaps your life depends
upon you being open to all possibilities. Unfortunately not all mental or
emotional pain can be treated by waiting for things to get better. No more
than you can rid yourself of a physical problem the same way. If cost is an
issue what about medicade or medicare, whichever applies to your situation?
Also some of the pharmaceutical companies provide medicade and non-medicade
eligible patients with free medication. Have a look at their web site to
apply.
Pfizer Patient Assistance Programs
http://www.pfizer.com/pfizer/subsites/philanthropy/access/us.programs.index.jsp
Bristol-Myers-Squid
Together RX Access Program
http://www.bms.com/togetherrx/data/access.html
Kaisernetwork.org
http://www.kaisernetwork.org/daily_reports/rep_index.cfm?DR_ID=27596
This news article has several links to other pharmaceutical companies
participating in similar programs
Ultimately the decision is yours but I think first and foremost you need to
see your family doctor for his advice or for a referral to someone more
qualified or specialized. If you feel you're becoming a danger to yourself,
I would advise you go to your local hospital and request to be treated as a
mental health emergency. In the meantime hang out here and talk to us.
Most of us have been where you are and understand. Welcome to ASD. :-)
--
Rhi
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| User: "Michelle" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 09:03:34 PM |
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I don't have any answers for you yet, TW but I wanted to ask why you
don't want meds.
It doesn't sound like a clinical depression to me anyway. Thank God
you're not suicidal.
It does sound like an extremely challenging time for you. Well, you
have gained us as a support - I hope - I hope you see us this way.
The feeling of hopelessness can be the worst thing, I know. But there
is hope, whether you believe it or not. Do you have anything you can
hang on to? Do you have a residence? A job counsellor? A little
money? What happened with your mom? All these things and more we
take for granted, and we need. I hope you have some of the things you
need to keep you going until you are feeling more confident. And if
you're all out of friends, make new ones. You can start here.
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| User: "-- TW" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 09:15:42 PM |
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I went back to the capel + cried my eyes out again.
Sorry, but I AM praying for a miracle.
This time I counted my blessings too.
My daughter is my greatest blessing. She is so wonderful.
Love is an amazing thing. Sometimes it makes no sense... but it is
always POWERFUL.
I'm happy that I feel this powerful love for my girlfriend and my
daughter.
No matter what happens, I am blessed that I was (will be, too?) able
to share that love.
As they say, it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have
loved at all.
I prayed real HARD for God to touch my girldfriend's heart.
That is he miracle that I'm praying for.
Whether that happens or not, I will 'be working my way back to her'
forever.
She and my daughter are my family unit. I want that to survive.
Praying helped me to focus on that as my life's goal.
It's a very worthy goal.
By the way, I'm not a prayer, generally. So I know I have to
strengthen my communicatin skills when I 'talk' to God.
If there are any other (better) prayers out there, could you out in a
good word for me too? I'd really appreciate it!
Well -- it's back home for me now -- I wonder what I'll find when I
show up there?
I hope it's not more scorn -- I hope it's somewhere between scorn and
a smile -- something to give me a little hope for the future.
Thanks for everyone's support -- I'm certainly open to more of it, if
anyone wants to add to this post.
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| User: "the_dawggie" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 11:51:31 PM |
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-- TW wrote:
Thanks for everyone's support -- I'm certainly open to more of it, if
anyone wants to add to this post.
Meds is not a good thing, if things can be fixed by other means, it's
better. Meds are a form of dependance the droog companies like to
rake in $s on. Not a cure - a cover up.
So, I also don't have an answer. I'm not into religion, so that
would not work for me, however if it works for you - go for it.
I'm also not going to go the med way either. Taking a few jugs is
enough for me to know it would not work for me. Dependance
issues ***** with me. Knowing I needed meds to still be sane
would not work out for me.
This group is a help {sometimes}, so enjoy.
When I was 18 or so, had a partner that I'm still not really over.
"As they say, it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have
loved at all"
Yeah, but realize that it's also "not better to have had a jug than
never before", or "what the heart doesn't see, doesn't grieve
for"
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| User: "-- TW" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 09:38:12 PM |
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I'm really a friendly guy -- but, yes, I could sure use a friend right
now. I have business assoc's who are 'friends,' but I can't burden
them with suff like this.
The one person I could always count on -- no mater what -- was (is?)
my girlfriend.
The one 'sure bet' in my life, now -- suddenly -- isn't.
The thing is, I don't WANT any other sure bets. I want her.
I know I'm sounding a little like OJ -- but it's not like that.
I'm only a little angry -- mostly, I'm just sad, crushed, and
heartbroken.
She was (is?) my sweetness. I love every little hair on her head.
You get the idea.
Her 'sudden' loss of love for -- confidence in -- me is based on one
particular issue. I won't go into it here.
What's shocking is the swiftness with which she's willing to throw
away the commitment we both have to each other.
Yeah, yeah -- we're not MARRIED (I can hear it now). But, in my world
(+ hers?) you can still be committed to each other, without being
married.
We are soulmates. Which is why this seems so sudden + unexpected.
It flies in the face of what I believe --- and what I THOUGHT she
believed to.
Add THAT o all the OTHER f-d up things that are besieging me ALL AT
ONCE, and you see why I am at a loss.
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| User: "the_dawggie" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
06 Nov 2007 11:51:07 PM |
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-- TW wrote:
I do not want meds, so please don't suggest that.
Yay you, i don't want them either
I am at the lowest point in my entire (47yrs) life.
I'm 40.
Pretty much everything is collapsing around me.
Everything?!?
YES -- pretty much everything.
Well I can't say everything myself, however am going
to have a major stress period going back to work.
I'm SO depressed, I'm not even suicidal. I'm just plain numb +
lifeless.
I'm more towards suicidal, however hanginging in here for now.
I'm relying ONLY on the ASSUMPTION that things MUST get better ----
eventually.
We all do. The realility is it's a false hope.
I need the support of a WISE person.
Not an ALMOST wise person or a PSEUDO wise person.
I need to talk to a mensch.
Puts me out of the equation then.
I'm still a bit lost in life.
My father was one -- but he died many years ago -- I have
'conversations' with him in my mind all the time -- but that doesn't
seem to work any more.
Curious.
Is there anyone out there who'd be willing to give me some guidance.
I cannot afford any counseling, etc.
I won't. A quack would never be able to help me. Good on you
for staying away from the meds.
On the other hand, I need to find a way to SURVIVE this feeling of
UTTER hopelessness.
You simply have to focus on what you like in life. Go with that.
God help me. (although it appears He's given up on me (too)).
BTW, I'm not religious and only slightly spiritual.
There is no god, so don't go there.
I'm just throwing out a distress call on this forum -- hoping against
hope that someone can 'take on' my case, so to speak.
Simply develop interests in life. Don't feel you are a slave
to your job, or life.
People don't realize how DEPENDENT they are on the support systems
they have -- sometimes without even realizing it.
I've seen that.
Eneryone is 'floating' on those support systems, even if they don't
know it!
Of course they are.
When ALL of those sstems FAIL at once, one goes into FREEFALL.
Yep, it would be an ugly look.
That's where I am now. All my support systems have FAILED at the same
time, including my primary one -- my girlfriend of 10 years.
Arrgh, this is where we are getting to. Relationship disorders.
Might be why I'M narcisstic.
The world is giving me a vote of NO CONFIDENCE -- all at the same time.
I wouldn't go that far. The world will give you a chance, you
are simply a tool in the fabric of society, however if that's
the way to live life to make a $, then that's the way it is,
and milk it for all it's worth.
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 01:26:11 PM |
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On 11/6/2007 10:51 PM, the_dawggie was all like:
I'm more towards suicidal, however hanginging in here for now.
Good thing you're not seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist. They would
probably just want to try helping you.
....do you want a "yay"?
I personally would hope you get help and that may very well require that
you drop the current attitude towards medication.
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 01:21:15 PM |
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On 11/6/2007 10:51 PM, the_dawggie was all like:
-- TW wrote:
I do not want meds, so please don't suggest that.
Yay you, i don't want them either
Most people with heart problems don't want to take meds either. Not even
low dose aspirin. Nor do they want to take steps to lower their blood
pressure - such as reducing sodium intake. Diabetics don't like
injecting insulin and pricking their fingers. People with cancer don't
like chemo meds. Yay to all of them!
What's the worst that could happen after all?
I mean they're only taking that stuff for health problems. It's not as
though it might be life threatening illnesses.
....and I've certainly *never* heard about somebody who had a mental
health problem dying because THEY weren't willing to take medication.
....oh WAIT - I *HAVE*.
Yay them!
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 01:23:57 PM |
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"Franz Bestuchev" <franz.bestuchev@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:5pehh9Fqdfa4U1@mid.individual.net...
On 11/6/2007 10:51 PM, the_dawggie was all like:
-- TW wrote:
I do not want meds, so please don't suggest that.
Yay you, i don't want them either
Most people with heart problems don't want to take meds either. Not
even
low dose aspirin. Nor do they want to take steps to lower their blood
pressure - such as reducing sodium intake. Diabetics don't like
injecting insulin and pricking their fingers. People with cancer don't
like chemo meds. Yay to all of them!
What's the worst that could happen after all?
I mean they're only taking that stuff for health problems. It's not as
though it might be life threatening illnesses.
...and I've certainly *never* heard about somebody who had a mental
health problem dying because THEY weren't willing to take medication.
...oh WAIT - I *HAVE*.
Yay them!
i got meds
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| User: "slunky" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 01:24:14 PM |
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_/ Franz Bestuchev <franz.bestuchev@gmail.com> wrote \_
Most people with heart problems don't want to take meds either. Not even
low dose aspirin. Nor do they want to take steps to lower their blood
pressure - such as reducing sodium intake. Diabetics don't like
injecting insulin and pricking their fingers. People with cancer don't
like chemo meds. Yay to all of them!
What's the worst that could happen after all?
I mean they're only taking that stuff for health problems. It's not as
though it might be life threatening illnesses.
...and I've certainly *never* heard about somebody who had a mental
health problem dying because THEY weren't willing to take medication.
...oh WAIT - I *HAVE*.
Yay them!
I love choking down meds. I love the tremors and jawlocking it gives me
and the nausea too.
--
-slunky
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 10:34:46 PM |
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On 11/7/2007 12:24 PM, slunky was all like:
_/ Franz Bestuchev <franz.bestuchev@gmail.com> wrote \_
Most people with heart problems don't want to take meds either. Not even
low dose aspirin. Nor do they want to take steps to lower their blood
pressure - such as reducing sodium intake. Diabetics don't like
injecting insulin and pricking their fingers. People with cancer don't
like chemo meds. Yay to all of them!
What's the worst that could happen after all?
I mean they're only taking that stuff for health problems. It's not as
though it might be life threatening illnesses.
...and I've certainly *never* heard about somebody who had a mental
health problem dying because THEY weren't willing to take medication.
...oh WAIT - I *HAVE*.
Yay them!
I love choking down meds. I love the tremors and jawlocking it gives me
and the nausea too.
The burning means it's working
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| User: "slunky" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 10:41:27 PM |
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_/ Franz Bestuchev <franz.bestuchev@gmail.com> wrote \_
The burning means it's working
Double the blood pressure, and you're twice as healthy.
--
-slunky
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| User: "Michelle la Belle" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 10:49:17 PM |
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On Nov 7, 11:41 pm, slunky <slu...@globalzero.org> wrote:
_/ Franz Bestuchev <franz.bestuc...@gmail.com> wrote \_
The burning means it's working
Double the blood pressure, and you're twice as healthy.
--
-slunky
Anybody heard from this person lately?
btw I like taking my meds. They keep me sane.
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| User: "slunky" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
07 Nov 2007 11:00:25 PM |
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_/ Michelle la Belle <aminotempty@hotmail.com> wrote \_
Anybody heard from this person lately?
What person?
btw I like taking my meds. They keep me sane.
I like mine too, really. I just don't like the side effects.
--
-slunky
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 05:52:53 PM |
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I can relate to what you're feeling and so can other people here. I'm
so sorry you're so miserable right now, and that you have lost the
love and support of your girlfriend, and whatever other support you
had. I am in a really bad spot at the moment, but I do care and you
have my empathy. I will come back to your post with more to say to
you later when I can. Glad at least that you're not considering
suicide as an option, but I know that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt
that much. There are some really wonderful people here that will give
support, encouragement, and read your posts and try to reply with
their best wisdom. Many can relate to what you're going through,
maybe not the specifics but certainly your feelings. I hope you can
try to find something to either distract yourself, something to focus
on besides what you are going through, or even try to sleep perhaps.
I wish I had more that I could tell you right now. Take care....
Rose
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| User: "Zardos" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 05:00:54 PM |
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On 10 Apr, 22:41, "-- TW" <wenkma...@yahoo.com> wrote:
God help me. (although it appears He's given up on me (too)).
BTW, I'm not religious and only slightly spiritual.
Then maybe you've given up on God !
Go to church/mosque/synagogue/whatever... You may not feel the touch of
God yourself, but when you have no Faith of your own seeing the Faith
in other people and the joy it brings them, may be enough to reinspire
You !
Too embarrassed to go ?
I've been
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| User: "oned" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 05:12:57 PM |
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Try your best to feel warm.
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| User: "-- TW" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 05:59:41 PM |
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Funny you should mention 'try to feel warm.' One of my 'symptoms' is
my blood seems to be running cold -- like frozen. I don't have the
chills, but my blood feels lice ice inside me.
Other (new) symptoms -- not wanting to eat at all.
I did go to (a) church -- kneeled in the chapel + cried my eyes out,
praying for a miracle.
I love my girlfriend so much -- the ONLY thing I want in life is to be
with her (+ our daughter (4yrs old).
Life isn't worth living if it's not with her. No -- I'm not
suicidal. It's just that I have no interest in living life if it's
not with her -- I'll DO it (live without her) if I HAVE to -- but
it'll be an empty existence -- just going therugh the motions.
I also love our daughter -- My entire wrold-view is based on being
with both of them. One happy family.
Problem is, her love for me suddenly VANISHED.
THAT'S what I was praying about -- the miracle of her love for me
returning.
I'll continue to pray for that for as long as it takes -- forever, if
I have to.
Did I mention my business is also going bust?
I'm drowing + I'm all out of life preservers.
Praying's the only thing left to try.
And talking it out....here, maybe.
Did I mention I have no friends? -- and my own mom recently (a week
ago) deleted me from her life.
See, I wasn't kidding when I said I have nowhere to turn.
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| User: "Zardos" |
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| Title: Re: I don't where to turn -- VERY depressed. |
10 Apr 2007 07:08:00 PM |
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On 10 Apr, 23:59, "-- TW" <wenkma...@yahoo.com> wrote:
I did go to (a) church -- kneeled in the chapel + cried my eyes out,
praying for a miracle.
God doesn't give you what You want ! He gives You the Power to get
what You want ! the power to change.
My Wife recently left me also, and took both our kids, then she came
back, Because I Had changed
Imagine Yourself through your girlfriends eyes, then change Everything
about You she Doesn't like, then when she looks at You and sees a
Good, Kind, Carring, well rounded person, and by then atractive, then
she is more likely to want You back.
God's there to help, not to do all the hard work for You, asking for
miracles seldom works, if it did we would all have plasmas !
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