On Jan 25, 1:06 pm, "lisa in mass." <mcc...@rcn.com> wrote:

Alan Harding <A...@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote...

In message
<Xns9A30740761240mccatsjavanet...@130.133.1.4>, lisa in
mass. <mcc...@rcn.com> writes

Alan Harding <A...@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote...

In message
<Xns9A301334E99CAmccatsjavanet...@130.133.1.4>, lisa
in mass. <mcc...@rcn.com> writes

slunky <slu...@globalzero.org> wrote...

_/ lisa in mass. <mcc...@rcn.com> wrote \_

I shouldn't, won't, can't. I can tolerate this. I
just wish I didn't have to.

I completely understand, Lisa, but we've got to be
strong for our families. You can overcome this.

I know, and I will. Just tired of having an endless
succession of suicide methods going through my head
that won't turn off. I hate when they get tactile and
I can feel what it would be like along with the visual
image. When everything I see is evauluated as to
whether it could play a part in my demise. And I can't
stop, I'm stuck.

I hope my therp is right and this abates by Sunday.

When do you see him next?

Not until Thursday. I saw him yesterday for a weekly
appointment. I could probably get in again sooner if
need be.

I approve of the 'if'. It sounds better than you were
earlier in the week.

Well, he did say things should be ok by Sunday. Why
Sunday, I don't know, unless he figured it would be within
a week of the trigger. If I'm not better Monday, I'll call
him to see if he has another opening.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Lisa,
I've been where you are and have come through thanks to
meds, bed rest, and a flicker of hope that life would get
better again. It had been good, and really nothing much
had changed--a few setbacks, but nothing I hadn't dealt
with in my earlier years. Here're MY NINE STEPS for
getting better:

1. Realize that depression, like the flu, is a temporary
disorder, albeit one that affects your brain, a very
sensitive organ. It has the distinct property of attacking
your serotonin, the substance which gives you your sense of
well-being. Like the flu makes your lungs and stomach and
intestines feel like crap, depression makes your sense of
well-being feel like crap. Never forget that the feeling
like crap is an illusory symptom of the illness, like
nausea with the flu. You just have to put up with it until
it goes away.

2. Fight back. When you've got the flu, you do not assume
that "this shitty feeling will never go away." You know
it's temporary. You have to tell yourself the same thing
about depression.

3. Pamper yourself. Depression requires bed rest, just
like the flu.

4. Get medicine. A good anti-depressant (I took Paxil)
and a bottle of Xanax, should get you through. It takes a
while to get to a good dosage or combo, so be patient. The
xanax will help the anxiety portions of depression, and
allow you to sleep. Do not take barbituates.

5. Crying with depression is like puking with the flu. It
goes with the territory. Pay it no mind.

6. Don't make any life changing or life ending decisions
while depressed. You wouldn't play basketball while you
had the flu, would you? Don't play life while you have
depression.

7. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. Explain it to
your loved ones and friends.

8. Get out of bed everyday and walk in the fresh air and
sunshine. I know you feel like lying in bed all day, but
exercise will speed your recovery. Try to stay busy, even
in bed. Read, watch television. Avoid thinking about
yourself. When you have a negative thought, counter it
with "what I just thought is an illusion," or "*****,
I'm not a bad person," or "*****, there's everything to
live for," or "pay no attention to the voice behind the
curtain," or anything that reminds you that the negative
thoughts are not true; they are a symptom of the illness
and nothing more.

9. Force yourself to smile. Sooner then you think, you
won't have to force yourself to smile.

Depression feels AWFUL. But, you'll get better.