| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"ponette" |
| Date: |
06 May 2005 07:27:30 PM |
| Object: |
I'm bad now, thanks |
I'm bad now, thanks, but I'm an adult and it will pass because those
things do. Right? I wish I had the experience to draw from of being
raised, as a teen, by a mother. My daughter needs it, I need it. I
feel like I owe it to her. I don't have it to offer.
I think I'm screaming inside. But maybe, just, it's starting to fade a
little. Or maybe I just am no longer attuned to hearing it. I'd like
it to go away, now.
p
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| User: "%. surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 07:31:02 PM |
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"ponette" <ponette0000@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:ll2o71prbr4mub3q2567i023smhjgjm5hq@4ax.com...
: I'm bad now, thanks, but I'm an adult and it will pass because those
: things do. Right? I wish I had the experience to draw from of being
: raised, as a teen, by a mother. My daughter needs it, I need it. I
: feel like I owe it to her. I don't have it to offer.
:
: I think I'm screaming inside. But maybe, just, it's starting to fade a
: little. Or maybe I just am no longer attuned to hearing it. I'd like
: it to go away, now.
:
: p
:
:
: --
: x-no-archive: yes is in the headers
even if you had the experience you say you wish you had ,
it might not work anyway because what worked for you ,
may not be the same for your daughter so you'd still be eucured
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:16:13 PM |
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On Fri, 6 May 2005 17:31:02 -0700, "%." <surfs@uniserve> wrote:
even if you had the experience you say you wish you had ,
it might not work anyway because what worked for you ,
may not be the same for your daughter so you'd still be eucured
Maybe. But I can't help thinking it would have to help.
p
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| User: "%. surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:21:55 PM |
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"ponette" <ponette0000@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:rl5o719c3749jver1hjoqvkdok6nc3mv62@4ax.com...
: On Fri, 6 May 2005 17:31:02 -0700, "%." <surfs@uniserve> wrote:
:
: >even if you had the experience you say you wish you had ,
: >it might not work anyway because what worked for you ,
: >may not be the same for your daughter so you'd still be eucured
:
:
: Maybe. But I can't help thinking it would have to help.
:
: p
:
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:
: --
: x-no-archive: yes is in the headers
ok , i never had a daughter of my own , but i raised two,
and i had no parents raise me at all , but ,
the daughters turned out way better than i did
so , who knows what works all i know is ,
teen girls ... that's a challenge
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:27:17 PM |
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On Fri, 6 May 2005 18:21:55 -0700, "%." <surfs@uniserve> wrote:
ok , i never had a daughter of my own , but i raised two,
and i had no parents raise me at all , but ,
the daughters turned out way better than i did
so , who knows what works all i know is ,
teen girls ... that's a challenge
Thanks for the perspective. From what I can tell, tweeners face what
teeners used to,when I was a kid...I'm certainly nowhere near ready to
deal w/the tweens-to-teens (I have an almost 10.5 YO.). As if that
was ever a consideration, eh?
p
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| User: "%. surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:38:50 PM |
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"ponette" <ponette0000@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:386o71d493g04ts1sm66vajgs8959uratq@4ax.com...
: On Fri, 6 May 2005 18:21:55 -0700, "%." <surfs@uniserve> wrote:
:
: >ok , i never had a daughter of my own , but i raised two,
: >and i had no parents raise me at all , but ,
: >the daughters turned out way better than i did
: >so , who knows what works all i know is ,
: >teen girls ... that's a challenge
:
: Thanks for the perspective. From what I can tell, tweeners face what
: teeners used to,when I was a kid...I'm certainly nowhere near ready to
: deal w/the tweens-to-teens (I have an almost 10.5 YO.). As if that
: was ever a consideration, eh?
:
: p
:
:
: --
: x-no-archive: yes is in the headers
sometimes raising them makes me think about ,
how much fun i must've been for the people raising me
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:40:53 PM |
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On Fri, 6 May 2005 18:38:50 -0700, "%." <surfs@uniserve> wrote:
sometimes raising them makes me think about ,
how much fun i must've been for the people raising me
Sometimes I feel sorry for my mom. I musta been a real pain in the
tailfeathers.
p
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| User: "%. surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:45:29 PM |
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"ponette" <ponette0000@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:s27o71p9dac35el78urjko1m94uogb1vg1@4ax.com...
: On Fri, 6 May 2005 18:38:50 -0700, "%." <surfs@uniserve> wrote:
:
: >sometimes raising them makes me think about ,
: >how much fun i must've been for the people raising me
:
: Sometimes I feel sorry for my mom. I musta been a real pain in the
: tailfeathers.
:
: p
:
:
: --
: x-no-archive: yes is in the headers
yep ... me too
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:06:40 PM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 17:27:30 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I'm bad now, thanks, but I'm an adult and it will pass because those
things do. Right? I wish I had the experience to draw from of being
raised, as a teen, by a mother. My daughter needs it, I need it. I
feel like I owe it to her. I don't have it to offer.
I think I'm screaming inside. But maybe, just, it's starting to fade a
little. Or maybe I just am no longer attuned to hearing it. I'd like
it to go away, now.
p
bad, how?
--
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If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:15:29 PM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:06:40 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
bad, how?
Well, just...bad. Y'know? But all this typing has gotten me to start
feeling a bit better. Nothing fixed though.
Thanks for askin'.
p
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 09:51:27 PM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:15:29 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:06:40 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
bad, how?
Well, just...bad. Y'know? But all this typing has gotten me to start
feeling a bit better. Nothing fixed though.
Thanks for askin'.
I saw the other post. Wish I had some experience to pass on to you.
But all my experience is with cats and a couple of dogs. Much more
straightforward, I imagine.
--
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If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
07 May 2005 12:46:53 AM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 19:51:27 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
I saw the other post. Wish I had some experience to pass on to you.
But all my experience is with cats and a couple of dogs. Much more
straightforward, I imagine.
That's okay. Cats...well, I do okay by them, for the most part. I even
speak unaccented Siamese cat, though I have no clue what I'm actually
saying. :) Dogs are another matter completely. I can't really get into
the heads of dogs much, so you've got one on me!
p
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
07 May 2005 02:26:18 AM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 22:46:53 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Fri, 06 May 2005 19:51:27 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
I saw the other post. Wish I had some experience to pass on to you.
But all my experience is with cats and a couple of dogs. Much more
straightforward, I imagine.
That's okay. Cats...well, I do okay by them, for the most part. I even
speak unaccented Siamese cat, though I have no clue what I'm actually
saying. :)
scary thought.
Dogs are another matter completely. I can't really get into
the heads of dogs much, so you've got one on me!
This is the total of Bruno's apparent vocabulary:
ball
leash
walk
ride?/go/ready/do you..?
food
potty/hurry up!
mom kiss/taz kiss/timmy kiss
pill time!
pig ear
chewie
down
submit (roll over)
speak
talk like a dog (silent bark)
<Dad's Name> << cue to bark madly at nothing
and last but not least:
SHUT UP (he ignores this one even though he knows perfectly well what
it means)
And of course everyone understands the significance of the can opener.
--
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If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:52:37 PM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:15:29 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:06:40 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
bad, how?
Well, just...bad. Y'know? But all this typing has gotten me to start
feeling a bit better. Nothing fixed though.
Thanks for askin'.
p
Hope that didn't come across as abrupt. I didn't mean it to.
How are you, anyway? Whatup on the gardening?
p
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x-no-archive: yes is in the headers
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 09:52:51 PM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:52:37 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:15:29 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Fri, 06 May 2005 18:06:40 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
bad, how?
Well, just...bad. Y'know? But all this typing has gotten me to start
feeling a bit better. Nothing fixed though.
Thanks for askin'.
p
Hope that didn't come across as abrupt. I didn't mean it to.
noproblem. I saw the other posts.
How are you, anyway? Whatup on the gardening?
raining again. My plants are purple.
I think this is going to be another mostly failure year. But if I can
get the garlic to harvest, I'll be happier. Well, heck. Add one
plant a year and I'll be happy!
Geez. I can't imagine raising kids in addition to plants. o lordy.
--
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If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
07 May 2005 12:50:51 AM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 19:52:51 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
raining again. My plants are purple.
Yuck. Rain.
I think this is going to be another mostly failure year. But if I can
get the garlic to harvest, I'll be happier. Well, heck. Add one
plant a year and I'll be happy!
It's early yet, isn't it? There's still time....
Geez. I can't imagine raising kids in addition to plants. o lordy.
Well, I can't imagine raising plants in addition to The Kid....or at
least, any plants that don't pretty much raise themselves. (For
example, my monkey puzzle tree thrives on benign neglect. That's my
kind of plant!)
p
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
07 May 2005 02:36:37 AM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 22:50:51 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Fri, 06 May 2005 19:52:51 -0700, wombn
<wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote:
raining again. My plants are purple.
Yuck. Rain.
I think this is going to be another mostly failure year. But if I can
get the garlic to harvest, I'll be happier. Well, heck. Add one
plant a year and I'll be happy!
It's early yet, isn't it? There's still time....
not necessarily. it may turn very hot very fast. Then no pollenation
might happen.
Geez. I can't imagine raising kids in addition to plants. o lordy.
Well, I can't imagine raising plants in addition to The Kid....or at
least, any plants that don't pretty much raise themselves. (For
example, my monkey puzzle tree thrives on benign neglect. That's my
kind of plant!)
that's like my poor ficus.
--
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If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 07:29:40 PM |
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On Fri, 06 May 2005 17:27:30 -0700, ponette <ponette0000@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I'm bad now, thanks, but I'm an adult and it will pass because those
things do. Right? I wish I had the experience to draw from of being
raised, as a teen, by a mother. My daughter needs it, I need it. I
feel like I owe it to her. I don't have it to offer.
I think I'm screaming inside. But maybe, just, it's starting to fade a
little. Or maybe I just am no longer attuned to hearing it. I'd like
it to go away, now.
What a stupid thing to write. Snap outta it.
p
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 07:53:44 PM |
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ponette wrote...
On Fri, 06 May 2005 17:27:30 -0700, ponette
<ponette0000@yahoo.com> wrote:
I'm bad now, thanks, but I'm an adult and it will pass
because those things do. Right? I wish I had the experience
to draw from of being raised, as a teen, by a mother. My
daughter needs it, I need it. I feel like I owe it to her.
I don't have it to offer.
I think I'm screaming inside. But maybe, just, it's
starting to fade a little. Or maybe I just am no longer
attuned to hearing it. I'd like it to go away, now.
What a stupid thing to write. Snap outta it.
p
and just think happy thoughts and it will go away.
this place was based upon a need to talk about our depression
and living with it.
it's a support group, remember?
not a stupid thing to write at all.
in a way, i'm glad i have sons. i think i'd be a terrible role
model for a daughter. i'd also worry more about acting toward
them the way my mother was with me. i'm sure you'll do fine.
if you love her, (and maybe even like her), that's the most
important thing. just be sure she knows it.
sorry you're feeling so badly tonight.
-lisa
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:14:04 PM |
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On 7 May 2005 00:53:44 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
and just think happy thoughts and it will go away.
this place was based upon a need to talk about our depression
and living with it.
it's a support group, remember?
not a stupid thing to write at all.
in a way, i'm glad i have sons. i think i'd be a terrible role
model for a daughter. i'd also worry more about acting toward
them the way my mother was with me. i'm sure you'll do fine.
if you love her, (and maybe even like her), that's the most
important thing. just be sure she knows it.
sorry you're feeling so badly tonight.
-lisa
Thanks, Lisa. I love the socks off my daughter, like her, admire her,
enjoy her. But I've never had to raise a tween-to-teen and feel
totally lost at doing so. Today, a teacher called me over to talk
about her; it's too public to talk about it here. But the teacher was
right, but The Kid wouldn't have listened to me if I tried to talk
about those issues, and I told her as much. And I gave the teacher
permission to try to reach my kid in these areas.
I feel so lost. I want my mommy. My mommy wasn't much of a mommy when
I'd reached that age anyway, so there's no real model (who could blame
her, in retrospect, she had lung cancer to deal with). I have nothing
to draw from.
Well my husband didn't want to hear it when he got home. He started on
me. The Kid and he had already engaged in a fight anyway (I'd been
home less than five minutes)...apparently The Kid brought the Gameboy
to school after being told not to lotsa times and "lost" it. Yeah,
right, but not at school, she claims.Right.... And she hadn't wanted
me to know 'cause I'd done something nice for her earlier in the day.
She asked my husband not to tell me. Not gonna happen.
So he was already crabby; didn't want to deal with the kid OR me. I
certainly hadn't asked for a blowup on a Friday afternoon; in fact,
I'd taken the afternoon off to clock some mental health hours. Zip! so
much for them.
More than you need to know. Anyway, I'd be clueless with boys, and
probably more so, so I'm glad I have my daughter. I just wish I had
more experience with someone modeling "a good mother for teens and
tweens" to me. Or someone to ask questions of. I feel like I have the
parenting knowledge of a two year old. If that.
Thanks a lot for writing. I really appreciate the response.
p
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x-no-archive: yes is in the headers
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:30:27 PM |
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ponette wrote...
More than you need to know. Anyway, I'd be clueless with
boys, and probably more so, so I'm glad I have my daughter.
I just wish I had more experience with someone modeling "a
good mother for teens and tweens" to me. Or someone to ask
questions of. I feel like I have the parenting knowledge of
a two year old. If that.
i know what you mean about feeling clueless about parenting. i
think most parents feel like that, at least with a first kid.
while i have no idea what i'm doing with the boys (the elder is
now 12), i'd be afraid of my response to a daughter. too afraid
to be like my mother, who was less than a stellar parent. at
least i know who i don't want to be.
i'm sorry you didn't have the benefit of having your mother when
you were growing older. i can see how it would be difficult to
have no female model at all.
-lisa
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| User: "ponette" |
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| Title: Re: I'm bad now, thanks |
06 May 2005 08:38:28 PM |
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On 7 May 2005 01:30:27 GMT, "lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote:
i know what you mean about feeling clueless about parenting. i
think most parents feel like that, at least with a first kid.
I still flash back on when they sent The Kid home from the hospital
from being born. I had a nice day with her, and thought (without
thinking) "So when are her parents going to come pick her up?" What a
shock to realize that we WERE her parents.
while i have no idea what i'm doing with the boys (the elder is
now 12), i'd be afraid of my response to a daughter. too afraid
to be like my mother, who was less than a stellar parent. at
least i know who i don't want to be.
My mom was a mixed bag. Some of her was wonderful. Some of her
was...well, less than wonderful. I learned a lot about what makes me a
good mom from her wonderfulness and have worked hard to conteract the
effect of her less-than-wonderfulness. I haven't always met up to my
own standards, but I have raised a daughter who has *no question* that
she is well loved, and I count that as something.
i'm sorry you didn't have the benefit of having your mother when
you were growing older. i can see how it would be difficult to
have no female model at all.
Thanks. It's really weird, actually. It's like having an appendage
missing.... It's almost embarrassing.
p
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