| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"DaKitty" |
| Date: |
13 May 2004 08:10:18 PM |
| Object: |
I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last 17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
.
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| User: "old coyote" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 02:22:44 PM |
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"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04:
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming, asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all
the time). I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted
to stay for couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in
last 17 years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to
watch the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again
*eyeroll*). It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray
cats and end up with 5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me
swim and join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered
to pay for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited
about seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to
hear from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from
them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
I'm sorry, Connie. It has to hurt. No matter how inured we think we are
to being ignored by those whom we love, it never seems to be enough. I
remember one time in particular when my dad called me. I was in my mid-20s
at the time with 3 small children at home. One would think that dad would
have spoken to us more often, but het, that's beside the story. Anyway, on
a warm Saturday afternoon I answer the phone and it's my dad on the other
end. I perked way up and had a huge smile on my face, or so I was told. He
asked how I was doing, and before I had the chance to finish my first
sentence, he interrupted with, "Do you know where Bud is?" (older brother),
"I've been trying to reach him all day." My wife said my face fell all the
way to the floor. What I hated the most was how mad I was at myself for
even thinking that he would call me to chat. Going about unnoticed and
ignored by one's parents is terrible. I feel for you, Connie.
But on a happier note, have a wonderful time in Italy. I hope you enjoy
yourself immensely. Also, a very happy, if belated, birthday to you. :)
--
-=oc=-
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:23:51 PM |
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"old coyote" <the_oldcoyote@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Xns94E98845459E4theoldcoyote@130.133.1.4...
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04:
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming, asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all
the time). I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted
to stay for couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in
last 17 years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to
watch the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again
*eyeroll*). It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray
cats and end up with 5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me
swim and join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered
to pay for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited
about seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to
hear from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from
them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
I'm sorry, Connie. It has to hurt. No matter how inured we think we are
to being ignored by those whom we love, it never seems to be enough. I
Yeah... It sort of reminds me why I get so 'needy' at times, and why I think
people will automatically dioslike and reject me, especially those whom I
happen to love.\
remember one time in particular when my dad called me. I was in my
mid-20s
at the time with 3 small children at home. One would think that dad would
have spoken to us more often, but het, that's beside the story. Anyway,
on
a warm Saturday afternoon I answer the phone and it's my dad on the other
end. I perked way up and had a huge smile on my face, or so I was told.
He
asked how I was doing, and before I had the chance to finish my first
sentence, he interrupted with, "Do you know where Bud is?" (older
brother),
"I've been trying to reach him all day." My wife said my face fell all
the
way to the floor. What I hated the most was how mad I was at myself for
even thinking that he would call me to chat.
I'm so sorry :(
Going about unnoticed and
ignored by one's parents is terrible. I feel for you, Connie.
Thanks!
But on a happier note, have a wonderful time in Italy. I hope you enjoy
yourself immensely. Also, a very happy, if belated, birthday to you. :)
The trip will be a lot of fun! I'm really looking forward to it!
.
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| User: "La Reina" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
13 May 2004 08:58:58 PM |
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"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in message
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
I am really sorry to hear this... it must be painful. You are a strong
person though and you will get through it. I hope you have a great time in
Italy! I am jealous I am not going....
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 03:56:03 PM |
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"La Reina" <BeckySiz75@NOSPAM4MEnew.rr.com> wrote in message
news:UIVoc.65924$u_4.45953@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in message
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the
time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to
watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to
hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from
them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
I am really sorry to hear this... it must be painful. You are a strong
person though and you will get through it. I hope you have a great time
in
Italy! I am jealous I am not going....
Thanks!
Italy will be fun, love the people on my swim team. They're all very nice
and a lot of fun :)
.
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
13 May 2004 08:47:24 PM |
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:-(
Thats so sad. I'm sorry.
my parents are kinda the same way. they love me but cant be bothered to put
any effort into seeing me. i live 60 miles away and they wont come up here.
it's stupid, so i just go there and see them once in a while but i'm usually
not very glad i went.
congrats about the swim team and i hope you had a nice bday anyway. kick
some italian butt.
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in message
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 03:54:55 PM |
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Thanks!
Yeah... guess there's a reason I haven't seen them for that long.
I think I'm used to it.
"pannah" <panone@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:2gimqfF3ahjrU1@uni-berlin.de...
:-(
Thats so sad. I'm sorry.
my parents are kinda the same way. they love me but cant be bothered to
put
any effort into seeing me. i live 60 miles away and they wont come up
here.
it's stupid, so i just go there and see them once in a while but i'm
usually
not very glad i went.
congrats about the swim team and i hope you had a nice bday anyway. kick
some italian butt.
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in message
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the
time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to
watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to
hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from
them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
.
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| User: "Dr. Siddhartha Vicious" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
13 May 2004 10:26:32 PM |
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x-no-archive:yes
"pannah" <panone@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:2gimqfF3ahjrU1@uni-berlin.de...
:-(
Thats so sad. I'm sorry.
my parents are kinda the same way. they love me but cant be bothered to
put
any effort into seeing me. i live 60 miles away and they wont come up
here.
it's stupid, so i just go there and see them once in a while but i'm
usually
not very glad i went.
Sounds a bit like my folks too. I'm a half-day's drive, have offered to
visit numerous times, and yet have easily seen my in-laws in So-Cal (a 20
hour drive from home) more often in the last two years...in fact it's been
almost two years as of this summer. Kinda sucks, but what can ya do. I told
Melia the other day that if nothing else I can live with a reasonably clean
conscience: that I did what I could to be near them and offer them
opportunities to spend time with us and their grandkids.
--
~ZenCrafters: Total Enlightenment in about an hour.~
.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 12:16:57 AM |
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DaKitty wrote...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a
lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told
them I was coming, asked them to come out and meet up (they
come out that way all the time). I even offered to pick up
their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for couple of
days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3
times in last 17 years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find
anyone to watch the cats (I guess they have a house full of
stray cats again *eyeroll*). It used to be 'my fault' that
they would take in stray cats and end up with 5, 6 7 cats
in a 2 bedroom apartment.... So, it sounds like they can't
take a day or two to come and see me swim and join up with
the team. At first they said they can't afford the trip...
then when I offered to pay for it, they came up with a pile
of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more
excited about seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish
him a Happy Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute
phonecall) He sounded happy to hear from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an
e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you
feel? I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better
then getting my hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
ouch. sorry :-(
i can relate some- my mom keeps saying how we need to get
together more often, that they'll come for a weekend. she even
tells me which weeks of which months look good. never happens.
work is much more important than (as she puts it) 'just
family.' last i heard, they were coming in march. now, maybe
august. it'll never happen.
-lisa
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:04:01 PM |
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"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns94E9CCE27C41mccatsjavanetcom@199.184.165.239...
DaKitty wrote...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a
lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told
them I was coming, asked them to come out and meet up (they
come out that way all the time). I even offered to pick up
their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for couple of
days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3
times in last 17 years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find
anyone to watch the cats (I guess they have a house full of
stray cats again *eyeroll*). It used to be 'my fault' that
they would take in stray cats and end up with 5, 6 7 cats
in a 2 bedroom apartment.... So, it sounds like they can't
take a day or two to come and see me swim and join up with
the team. At first they said they can't afford the trip...
then when I offered to pay for it, they came up with a pile
of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more
excited about seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish
him a Happy Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute
phonecall) He sounded happy to hear from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an
e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you
feel? I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better
then getting my hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
ouch. sorry :-(
i can relate some- my mom keeps saying how we need to get
together more often, that they'll come for a weekend. she even
tells me which weeks of which months look good. never happens.
work is much more important than (as she puts it) 'just
family.' last i heard, they were coming in march. now, maybe
august. it'll never happen.
-lisa
Yeah... My aunt (mom's sister), whom jake met is like that.
We'll get together, we'll get together, and it never happens.
If it does happen, it's because I've gone up to see them (about 500 miles
away from here)
.
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
13 May 2004 11:49:08 PM |
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DaKitty wrote:
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Sorry to hear that your efforts are wasted on people who really don't
appreciate you.....I guess the thing is, its their loss that they dont want
make an effort for you.
--
Regards Lee
~After dark all cats are leopards~.
Native American Proverb
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 03:59:54 PM |
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"Flashfire" <ramblinin@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:40a44d7b$0$2297$61ce578d@news.syd.swiftdsl.com.au...
DaKitty wrote:
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Sorry to hear that your efforts are wasted on people who really don't
appreciate you.....I guess the thing is, its their loss that they dont
want
make an effort for you.
yeah, I guess.
It's odd, when I tell people that I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, there
is a tinge of guilt there, perhaps...
Then I remember how the first several years he completely disowned me... and
even though I offered to pick up their costs several times, he won't come
out here to see me.
It's much cheaper for me to pay for them to come here, than for me to go
over there. The big difference is, one I can afford, the other one, I can't
afford.
Oh, yeah, and they don't wanna see me unless I can stay there at least 2
weeks, preferably a month.
After that I know it's going to be mega pressure for me to just stay
there.... my mom is going to throw fits etc...
.
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 05:37:49 PM |
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DaKitty wrote:
"Flashfire" <ramblinin@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:40a44d7b$0$2297$61ce578d@news.syd.swiftdsl.com.au...
DaKitty wrote:
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my
hopes up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Sorry to hear that your efforts are wasted on people who really don't
appreciate you.....I guess the thing is, its their loss that they
dont want make an effort for you.
yeah, I guess.
It's odd, when I tell people that I haven't seen my dad in 17 years,
there is a tinge of guilt there, perhaps...
Yeah when I tell people I have not seen my mother for 17 years they look at
me a bit odd and I feel like I should be apologising to someone
Then I remember how the first several years he completely disowned
me... and even though I offered to pick up their costs several times,
he won't come out here to see me.
Then it is his loss that he doesnt want to acknowlege you.
It's much cheaper for me to pay for them to come here, than for me to
go over there. The big difference is, one I can afford, the other
one, I can't afford.
Either way, they should make an effort
Oh, yeah, and they don't wanna see me unless I can stay there at
least 2 weeks, preferably a month.
They should be happy even if its only to see you for an hour.
After that I know it's going to be mega pressure for me to just stay
there.... my mom is going to throw fits etc...
Uh Huh, mama fits what is it about parents that always makes you feel
rotten.
--
Regards Lee
~After dark all cats are leopards~.
Native American Proverb
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| User: "BGumm" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:52:56 PM |
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Wow that is so sad......I am sorry your parents are that way. They are missing
out on your life and being involved in your life. I can't imagine doing that
to my kids. I don't understand parents that think the kids have to make all
the moves and shoulder the responsibility of keeping a relationship going.
<sigh>
Atleast you will be able to have some fun on your trip surrounded by people
that you love and enjoy.
You can't change the situation if no one else is going to help you keep things
going so try to live with it the way it is---painful though it would be---and
realize that atleast YOU have made effort.
Take care
Becky
"I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild;
when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and
moody. And in all its moods, I see myself."
-Martin Buxbaum
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 05:42:34 PM |
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"BGumm" <bgumm@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040514175256.01198.00001317@mb-m14.aol.com...
Wow that is so sad......I am sorry your parents are that way. They are
missing
out on your life and being involved in your life. I can't imagine doing
that
to my kids. I don't understand parents that think the kids have to make
all
the moves and shoulder the responsibility of keeping a relationship going.
<sigh>
Atleast you will be able to have some fun on your trip surrounded by
people
that you love and enjoy.
You can't change the situation if no one else is going to help you keep
things
going so try to live with it the way it is---painful though it would
be---and
realize that atleast YOU have made effort.
Take care
Becky
Hi Becky,
Thanks :)
Yea, the trip will be great!
Inspite of.....
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 01:33:43 AM |
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DaKitty wrote:
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last 17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Wow, Italy! I never made it in all the years I lived in Europe and
it is probably the only country I regret not going to. Have a blast
Connie.
We can't choose our parents but we can choose most other things.
Just choose whatever it is that makes you happy and try and divest
yourself of the rest. Sounds like they have given up... shame on them.
Take care.
GlennT
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| User: "jake" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 01:43:34 PM |
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I am trying to guess about why they might act and the only thing that sprang
to mind is they're insulted.
Maybe they are insulted becasue you're going to Europe for swimming not
really for them. Like they aren't importatn enough, but swimming is.
Maybe if you wne tover to them rather than asking them to come to you would
make a difference.
I don't know what your relationhsiop with them is like,but maybe it would
help to ask them very ncely, and persistently, why they are acting like
this. If you show them you rare willing to listen, they might relax and
beome more sincere. I'll keep ,my fingers crossed for you. I'd feel pretty
hurt myself uncer the current circumstances, so I iamgina you're not too
thrlled about it, either.
.
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| User: "jake" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 01:47:58 PM |
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"jake" <kaaskoper@hotmail.com> schreef in bericht
news:2gkiaoF4066sU1@uni-berlin.de...
I am trying to guess about why they might act and the only thing that
sprang
to mind is they're insulted.
Maybe they are insulted becasue you're going to Europe for swimming not
really for them. Like they aren't importatn enough, but swimming is.
Maybe if you wne tover to them rather than asking them to come to you
would
make a difference.
I don't know what your relationhsiop with them is like,but maybe it would
help to ask them very ncely, and persistently, why they are acting like
this. If you show them you rare willing to listen, they might relax and
beome more sincere. I'll keep ,my fingers crossed for you. I'd feel pretty
hurt myself uncer the current circumstances, so I iamgina you're not too
thrlled about it, either.
PS the above is notwithstanding that they are acting stragnley. yousdeserve
to have them come and see you. Just don't let their chldishness make you
believe there's something wrong with you. You are a very kind and generous
and succesful person and they should be proud to have you as their daughter.
(They may also be jealous of what you have in your life... maybe?)
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:27:02 PM |
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"jake" <kaaskoper@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:2gkij0F3scurU1@uni-berlin.de...
"jake" <kaaskoper@hotmail.com> schreef in bericht
news:2gkiaoF4066sU1@uni-berlin.de...
I am trying to guess about why they might act and the only thing that
sprang
to mind is they're insulted.
Maybe they are insulted becasue you're going to Europe for swimming not
really for them. Like they aren't importatn enough, but swimming is.
Maybe if you wne tover to them rather than asking them to come to you
would
make a difference.
I don't know what your relationhsiop with them is like,but maybe it
would
help to ask them very ncely, and persistently, why they are acting like
this. If you show them you rare willing to listen, they might relax and
beome more sincere. I'll keep ,my fingers crossed for you. I'd feel
pretty
hurt myself uncer the current circumstances, so I iamgina you're not too
thrlled about it, either.
PS the above is notwithstanding that they are acting stragnley.
yousdeserve
to have them come and see you. Just don't let their chldishness make you
believe there's something wrong with you. You are a very kind and generous
and succesful person and they should be proud to have you as their
daughter.
(They may also be jealous of what you have in your life... maybe?)
Oh, I'll be in Riccione, which is near Rimini from June 1st through the
10th.
how difficult is it for you to take a trip in that direction?
I'll have time during the day, but unfortunately, I'll be tied to the pool
and the competitions, and don't get a day or two to get away.
I'd love to see you :)
Maybe you can email me your info, at least I can give you a call or
something while I'm there?
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:21:19 PM |
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"jake" <kaaskoper@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:2gkij0F3scurU1@uni-berlin.de...
"jake" <kaaskoper@hotmail.com> schreef in bericht
news:2gkiaoF4066sU1@uni-berlin.de...
I am trying to guess about why they might act and the only thing that
sprang
to mind is they're insulted.
Maybe they are insulted becasue you're going to Europe for swimming not
really for them. Like they aren't importatn enough, but swimming is.
Maybe if you wne tover to them rather than asking them to come to you
would
make a difference.
I don't know what your relationhsiop with them is like,but maybe it
would
help to ask them very ncely, and persistently, why they are acting like
this. If you show them you rare willing to listen, they might relax and
beome more sincere. I'll keep ,my fingers crossed for you. I'd feel
pretty
hurt myself uncer the current circumstances, so I iamgina you're not too
thrlled about it, either.
PS the above is notwithstanding that they are acting stragnley.
yousdeserve
to have them come and see you. Just don't let their chldishness make you
believe there's something wrong with you. You are a very kind and generous
and succesful person and they should be proud to have you as their
daughter.
Just makes me remember why I have the difficulties that I do have...
Sometimes the work that gopes into trying to overcome them is just soooo
much effort.
(They may also be jealous of what you have in your life... maybe?)
Could be. My dad often tries to compete with me.... when I accomplish
something, and want to tell them all about it, hoping to get 'atta girl',
instead I get my mom worrying that everyone is taking advantage of me, and
that I should have accomplished more, and from my dad, I get him trying to
compete with what I've done, and show me up. (which he can't... the
economies are so different between here and there, it's like comparing
apples and oranges)
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:17:45 PM |
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"jake" <kaaskoper@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:2gkiaoF4066sU1@uni-berlin.de...
I am trying to guess about why they might act and the only thing that
sprang
to mind is they're insulted.
Could be, although, I did explain that the reason I can't go visit with them
are financial.
Maybe they are insulted becasue you're going to Europe for swimming not
really for them. Like they aren't importatn enough, but swimming is.
Yea, I can understand. I'm going with the team, and everything is organized
for us, and the trip is subsidised by the team. I don't have the money to
change ALL of my accomodations away from the team, and to take an extra 2
weeks (which they want me to do) to go visit with them. I do have some
extra, where I could add their room to the team accomodations, and pay for
it out of my pocket, and they could spend a few days with me. The price
difference is, one would cost 500 dollars, the other one would cost me
7000-8000 dollars on top of what I'm already spending for the trip.
Maybe if you wne tover to them rather than asking them to come to you
would
make a difference.
Yeah, they want me to go there and stay with them for couple of weeks, and
preferably a month or so... Actually what my mom really wants is for me to
move back there. Anything short of that, she'll not be happy.
I don't know what your relationhsiop with them is like,but maybe it would
help to ask them very ncely, and persistently, why they are acting like
this. If you show them you rare willing to listen, they might relax and
beome more sincere.
The funny part is that after the phone conversation with mom, she sensed
that I wasn't really happy with what I heard, and she emailed me back
asking... oh, I noticed you were down, I guess we neglected to ask you,
perhaps you need financial help to change your accomodations? We should have
offered to help you!
I'm thinking.. they tell me they can't afford the 500 bucks to come and see
me, but they have the 6000 for me to change my plans ad go see them???
Ryyyght!
I'd say something is fishy there.
I'll keep ,my fingers crossed for you. I'd feel pretty
hurt myself uncer the current circumstances, so I iamgina you're not too
thrlled about it, either.
yea... with them, it's their way or no way. This just reminded me of it...
and even though I was bummed out, it also made me glad that I was so far
away. It would not be pleasant interacting with them more often. Guess it's
a good thing I'm here.
.
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| User: "Thomas Dehn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
15 May 2004 01:17:39 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote:
Yea, I can understand. I'm going with the team, and everything is organized
for us, and the trip is subsidised by the team. I don't have the money to
change ALL of my accomodations away from the team, and to take an extra 2
weeks (which they want me to do) to go visit with them. I do have some
extra, where I could add their room to the team accomodations, and pay for
it out of my pocket, and they could spend a few days with me. The price
difference is, one would cost 500 dollars, the other one would cost me
7000-8000 dollars on top of what I'm already spending for the trip.
Something does not match here, except if you count something
like loss of income during those two extra weeks. A four week
trip to the US costs me about 4000 bucks including all expenses.
Croatia is considerably cheaper than the US.
I am not, in any way, implying that spending two weeks at your
parents place would be a good idea, but 7000 bucks for two
weeks definitely looks like ti could be done much cheaper.
Thomas
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
15 May 2004 07:53:27 PM |
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"Thomas Dehn" <thomas-usenet@arcor.de> wrote in message
news:2glr9gF3smk0U1@uni-berlin.de...
x-no-archive: yes
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote:
Yea, I can understand. I'm going with the team, and everything is
organized
for us, and the trip is subsidised by the team. I don't have the money
to
change ALL of my accomodations away from the team, and to take an extra
2
weeks (which they want me to do) to go visit with them. I do have some
extra, where I could add their room to the team accomodations, and pay
for
it out of my pocket, and they could spend a few days with me. The price
difference is, one would cost 500 dollars, the other one would cost me
7000-8000 dollars on top of what I'm already spending for the trip.
Something does not match here, except if you count something
like loss of income during those two extra weeks. A four week
trip to the US costs me about 4000 bucks including all expenses.
Croatia is considerably cheaper than the US.
I am not, in any way, implying that spending two weeks at your
parents place would be a good idea, but 7000 bucks for two
weeks definitely looks like ti could be done much cheaper.
Thomas
I'm counting the loss of income too, cause if I don't work, I don't eat.
So, if I want to take that much time off, I need to have that much money in
reserves, otherwise when I come back from the trip, there's nothing to pay
the rent with, nothing for the bills, nothing for groceries etc. Can't
neglect that minor point.
Another thing is, since one set of 'group' accommodations had been made
already, and paid for, cancellation will cost a lot, plus, booking something
brand new a week or two before going on a trip, they'll penalize you pretty
darn good when you wanna book that late.
Whether I go to Croatia or not, I still have 10 days in Italy on top of
that. I'm talking two weeks in Italy AND two weeks in Croatia.
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
15 May 2004 08:18:19 PM |
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DaKitty wrote:
Whether I go to Croatia or not, I still have 10 days in Italy on top
of that. I'm talking two weeks in Italy AND two weeks in Croatia.
Just enjoy your days in Italy with your freinds and teammates. Personally if
your parents are not prepared to make a little effort, travelling from
Croatia to Italy to see thier daughter at your expense even, then they dont
deserve to see you at all.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
16 May 2004 05:40:11 PM |
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"Flashfire" <ramblinin@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:40a6bf10$0$2302$61ce578d@news.syd.swiftdsl.com.au...
DaKitty wrote:
Whether I go to Croatia or not, I still have 10 days in Italy on top
of that. I'm talking two weeks in Italy AND two weeks in Croatia.
Just enjoy your days in Italy with your freinds and teammates. Personally
if
your parents are not prepared to make a little effort, travelling from
Croatia to Italy to see thier daughter at your expense even, then they
dont
deserve to see you at all.
--
Regards Lee
yea, sad but true.
Who knows, maybe they end up running out of excuses, and show up.
.
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| User: "Celebrity F*cker" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
13 May 2004 09:33:03 PM |
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In article <W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04>, "DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote:
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last 17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Sorry about that Connie.
My dad would do the same thing. I used to live 120 miles from him and not once
in 11 years did he come & see me. Of course, he expects me to call him &/or
come see him. I've come to the conclusion he's "just that way".
Don't feel bad, it's not you.
On another note: Happy Belated Birthday! and Congratulations!
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:28:41 PM |
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"Celebrity F*cker" <NoOne@SpamAvoidance.com> wrote in message
news:zdWoc.48216$at4.27495@newssvr29.news.prodigy.com...
In article <W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04>, "DaKitty"
<Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote:
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to
hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from
them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Sorry about that Connie.
My dad would do the same thing. I used to live 120 miles from him and not
once
in 11 years did he come & see me. Of course, he expects me to call him
&/or
come see him. I've come to the conclusion he's "just that way".
Yeah. Kind of sad it has to be that way.
Don't feel bad, it's not you.
yea, I keep telling myself. It's hard trying to overcome the impact getting
raised that way had.
On another note: Happy Belated Birthday! and Congratulations!
Thank you :)
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 02:42:14 PM |
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Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention... I'm an only child too.
Go figure.
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in message
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
.
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| User: "K-9" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 09:03:57 AM |
|
|
On Thu, 13 May 2004 18:10:18 -0700, "DaKitty"
<Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> <Howled>
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last 17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Life certainly swings around fast.
I hope the swim meet is good.
K-9
.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
|
| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 04:05:43 PM |
|
|
"K-9" <bark@woods.com> wrote in message
news:kcg9a0lm36hh7r891ialdb9fe0hvn3cnsa@4ax.com...
On Thu, 13 May 2004 18:10:18 -0700, "DaKitty"
<Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> <Howled>
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to
hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from
them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
Life certainly swings around fast.
I hope the swim meet is good.
Thanks! Swimming is what's been helping me keep the balance (whatever
little there is) lately.
.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 01:56:48 AM |
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On Thu, 13 May 2004 18:10:18 -0700, "DaKitty"
<Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote:
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
:-(
It's heartbreaking.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
.
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| User: "SortaLily" |
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| Title: Re: I'm going to Italy - about mom and dad |
14 May 2004 06:09:23 AM |
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man that sucks. i'm so sorry dk. maybe you can just show up at their door
step and say HI .. remeber me? you DAUGHTER! .
--
--
"DaKitty" <Imgonna@dotcomsomething.net> wrote in message
news:W%Uoc.148815$Qy.126792@fed1read04...
I'm going to Italy, with my swim team. It;'s going to be a lot of fun!
But, here's the flipside...
It's 200 miles from where my mom and dad live. So, I told them I was
coming,
asked them to come out and meet up (they come out that way all the time).
I even offered to pick up their hotel costs if they wanted to stay for
couple of days.
I haven't seen my mom in 3 years, and I've only seen her 3 times in last
17
years.
I haven't seen my dad in 17 years, since I left Croatia.
So, what do they say... ?
They're giving me this song and dance how they can't find anyone to watch
the cats (I guess they have a house full of stray cats again *eyeroll*).
It used to be 'my fault' that they would take in stray cats and end up
with
5, 6 7 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment....
So, it sounds like they can't take a day or two to come and see me swim
and
join up with the team.
At first they said they can't afford the trip... then when I offered to
pay
for it, they came up with a pile of other lame excuses.
Silly me, I thought after 17 years, they'd be little more excited about
seeing me. Guess not.
I called my dad on his b-day just few weeks ago, to wish him a Happy
Birthday. (this is a 3-dollar-a-minute phonecall) He sounded happy to hear
from me.
2 days after my dad's is my b-day. I didn't even get an e-card from them.
I bet a shrink would ask... sop how does that make you feel?
I'd say... Stupid, cause I should have known better then getting my hopes
up, and getting disappointed.
Oh well.
.
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