You don't say that there is anything external wrong with your life
(like a bad home situation), so I assume your depression is what is
called "endogenous"--a fancy word meaning it isn't triggered by
anything external in your life. This is the classic Major Depressive
Disorder, for which medications are particularly appropriate.
I urge you to make an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss your
depression and medical treatments for it. (I would not particularly
urge you to see a talk therapist; nor would I try to dissuade you, but
your problem sounds more medical than cognitive). Please do, and let
us know what happens.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
"Gem" <gemma@shire.co.uk> wrote in message
news:VMicnZOcIrNKjaTdSa8jmA@karoo.co.uk...
i want to be happy but i never really am. even if there's a happy
moment
thats all it is - a moment, the black cloud isnt far away. there's
nothing
that should make me feel like this so i dont understand why i do.
i'm in a
good relationship, getting good grades at uni, have a lovely family
etc. but
still i feel sad. i've always felt like this, even when i was a
child. i
feel inadequate, i feel guilty because theres no reason to be sad
but i am.
when i feel sad i get irritable with other people and then convince
myself
that they can't possibly like me then that makes things worse
because i
avoid people. i have very good friends who are still my friends and
know
that sometimes i'm not happy but then i think how long is my
boyfriend going
to be able to put up with me. i need to get out of the cycle before
it
messes things up properly. i threw all my painkillers in the bin
because i
was afraid. i dont think i would ever take them but i was still
afraid. i
want to see my gp about this but i'm not sure that i'd get taken
seriously.
i dont know what to do because i really want to be happy and
sometimes sad
rather than sad and sometimes happy.
.
