"Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:e0ghi.73920$xq1.28991@pd7urf1no...
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:4Sfhi.6835$Fc.3336@attbi_s21...
Luna wrote:
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:uUehi.187307$_c5.102322@attbi_s22...
What happened was very traumatic to me. I doubt anyone would
contest
that.
It's still hard for me. I'm having PTSD symptoms. It's severely
affected
my sleep. This week has been a train wreck for me. And I'm having
a lot
of trouble with this wreckage. This experience has damaged me for
the
time being.
Nothing excuses the posts I've sent the past two days. But I've
been
going through paroxysms of rage, grieving, pain, humiliation. I'm
also
having strong problems with feeling abandoned and hated.
I'm not gonna go into "my side of things" about what happened.
After
what I've been posting, I doubt it matters anymore.
All I want is to get back to normal. Normal is what's been
missing. How
long that'll take, I don't know.
* * * * * * * * *
Jean: I apologize for all the malevolent, harrassing and
deprecating
posts I've directed against you here yesterday and today. Do with
that
as you will.
Of course I accept your apology, Nick. I fully expected you to be
angry.
I
hope we can move away from these bad feelings. It was very
difficult for
both of us but I fully understand that the fallout was tougher for
you
than
it was for me.
Thank you very much, Jean. I can't tell you how much your reply
means to
me.
I miss our friendship. Terribly so.
It isn't a friendship thing, that's what you need to let seep in. It
was
visceral fear on my part. It was "Is this happening again, I can't
let this
happen again". Once the idea was in my head it wouldn't leave.
I am sure most people would have just shrugged and thought - "Nick is
sleeping", "Nick is tired, no big deal". That's how most people would
have
reacted - ie, normally. Not me, I freaked out. I'm sorry that I
reacted
that way. I wish I could have thought things out before you got here.
The
unfortunate combination of emotion the day before and then the
sleeping -
having seen the prescription bottle on the dresser - just pushed me
into a
very bad place.
I'll e-mail you within the next few days, if that's okay.
Of course it is.
Have a good three-day weekend (assuming you'll be taking Monday off
for
the holiday).
You bet. Boss is letting us leave early too! Yay!
Jean
you're a harbor pickle
.
