| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"John" |
| Date: |
13 Sep 2004 03:28:53 AM |
| Object: |
In an elevator |
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in the
parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller. Young.
Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little, and was
soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him that soon they
would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that can be
done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it and
re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure out
what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
.
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| User: "Kirby Cook" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:49:48 AM |
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re: "-two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her." She is still at a wonderfully (in her case, and
yours) adaptable age. Speaking from my own experience and observation,
the joy she provides in your life will only grow and get better.
Kirby
PS: Sorry about the first reply
.
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 01:07:25 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"Kirby Cook" <kirbywmcook@netscape.net> wrote in message
news:4145CFAC.6090406@netscape.net...
re: "-two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her." She is still at a wonderfully (in her case, and
yours) adaptable age. Speaking from my own experience and observation,
the joy she provides in your life will only grow and get better.
Kirby
PS: Sorry about the first reply
Not sure what the first reply was, or what you have to apologize for.
Thanks for the thought.
She is truly a joy.
Today, when I got home from work, we rubbed heads in the middle of playing
with a puzzle. I have a brother, who is four years younger, and when we
were both little boys, we used to do that to each other--rub our heads
together, no hands, and use them to tickle each other around the neck and
shoulders.
She's so much fun.
.
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| User: "Kirby Cook" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 09:37:54 AM |
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<snip>
Not sure what the first reply was, or what you have to apologize for.
<snip>
Too often, I fail to note the x-no-archive, as I did on my first reply.
I cancelled it within, oh, 45 seconds or so, but from past experience,
it's out there somewhere.
Kirby
.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 01:21:31 AM |
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On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 06:07:25 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
"Kirby Cook" <kirbywmcook@netscape.net> wrote in message
news:4145CFAC.6090406@netscape.net...
re: "-two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her." She is still at a wonderfully (in her case, and
yours) adaptable age. Speaking from my own experience and observation,
the joy she provides in your life will only grow and get better.
Kirby
PS: Sorry about the first reply
Not sure what the first reply was, or what you have to apologize for.
Thanks for the thought.
She is truly a joy.
Today, when I got home from work, we rubbed heads in the middle of playing
with a puzzle. I have a brother, who is four years younger, and when we
were both little boys, we used to do that to each other--rub our heads
together, no hands, and use them to tickle each other around the neck and
shoulders.
She's so much fun.
:-D
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist:
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
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| User: "Kirby Cook" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:47:07 AM |
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John wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in
the parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller.
Young. Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little,
and was soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him
that soon they would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that
all mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something
you may not learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way
she attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can
be rough with things and with us. There's also a distance that she
maintains from us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big
show of wiping the kiss off of her face. You reject what you can't
have--maybe that's the thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that
can be done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone
to take care of her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in
the bank, have become part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it
and re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure
out what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
re: "-two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her." She is still at a wonderfully (in her case, and yours)
adaptable age. Speaking from my own experience and observation, the joy
she provides in your life will only grow and get better.
.
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| User: "dennis" |
|
| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 03:25:35 PM |
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On Mon, 13 Sep 2004 08:28:53 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in the
parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller. Young.
Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little, and was
soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him that soon they
would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that can be
done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it and
re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure out
what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
my own experience in the orphanage was very traumatic. but one thing
i do remember is that the staff made a point of holding each of us.
just not enough for me becouse my mother never did that when i was
with her.
.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 07:44:48 PM |
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On Mon, 13 Sep 2004 20:25:35 +0000, dennis <later@notnow.net> wrote:
my own experience in the orphanage was very traumatic. but one thing
i do remember is that the staff made a point of holding each of us.
just not enough for me becouse my mother never did that when i was
with her.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{ dennis }}}}}}}}}}}
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist (Dr. Sid):
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
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| User: "dennis" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 06:25:47 PM |
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On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 00:44:48 GMT, wombn <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net>
wrote:
On Mon, 13 Sep 2004 20:25:35 +0000, dennis <later@notnow.net> wrote:
my own experience in the orphanage was very traumatic. but one thing
i do remember is that the staff made a point of holding each of us.
just not enough for me becouse my mother never did that when i was
with her.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{ dennis }}}}}}}}}}}
thanx
.
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:59:18 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"dennis" <later@notnow.net> wrote in message
news:a30ck01k9i2o9v9on00083k4sceeltkudp@4ax.com...
On Mon, 13 Sep 2004 08:28:53 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in the
parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller. Young.
Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little, and
was
soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him that soon they
would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may
not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the
kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the
thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that can
be
done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone to take care
of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it and
re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure out
what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
my own experience in the orphanage was very traumatic. but one thing
i do remember is that the staff made a point of holding each of us.
just not enough for me becouse my mother never did that when i was
with her.
I must have missed the orphanage connection somehow, Dennis.
Sorry for my obliviousness.
I'm glad to hear about the physical contact with the staff.
How did all of that happen? Have you told that story?
.
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| User: "dennis" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 04:49:02 PM |
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On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 04:59:18 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
"dennis" <later@notnow.net> wrote in message
news:a30ck01k9i2o9v9on00083k4sceeltkudp@4ax.com...
On Mon, 13 Sep 2004 08:28:53 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in the
parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller. Young.
Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little, and
was
soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him that soon they
would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may
not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the
kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the
thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that can
be
done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone to take care
of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it and
re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure out
what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
my own experience in the orphanage was very traumatic. but one thing
i do remember is that the staff made a point of holding each of us.
just not enough for me becouse my mother never did that when i was
with her.
I must have missed the orphanage connection somehow, Dennis.
Sorry for my obliviousness.
I'm glad to hear about the physical contact with the staff.
How did all of that happen? Have you told that story?
long ago. i was in an orphange from 2 to 4 when my parents divorced.
almost two years in foster care. that was actually the only time that
i felt that i was loved.
.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 03:47:33 AM |
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ahhhh. I was getting withdrawals....
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist (Dr. Sid):
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
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| User: "harakiri" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 05:23:35 PM |
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her first two years were like a boy's first two years. so she'll be a go
getter when she's older. how's the preschool?
"John" <noone@home.net> wrote in message
news:9Tc1d.1120$OB2.1012@twister.socal.rr.com...
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in the
parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller. Young.
Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little, and was
soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him that soon they
would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the
thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that can
be
done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone to take care
of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it and
re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure out
what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
.
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 04:30:37 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
John wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in the
parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller. Young.
Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little, and was
soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him that soon they
would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that can be
done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone to take care of
her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in the bank, have become
part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it and
re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure out
what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
I think touch is very important. I remember seeing the photos in the
intro psych classes, with those poor pathetic monkeys they denied a
maternal touch, and the monkeys would grasp onto a fake wire monkey with
cloth wrapped around it.
IIRC, the critical age for personality development is 0-5. Certainly
being in an orphanage is going to shape her, but she's still way young,
and she's got a good family now, that's what counts.
.
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| User: "Jamal Chapultapec" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 04:36:22 PM |
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Janithor <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in
news:414568BD.8060707@comcast.net:
x-no-archive: yes
John wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in
the parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller.
Young. Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little,
and was soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him
that soon they would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that
all mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something
you may not learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way
she attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can
be rough with things and with us. There's also a distance that she
maintains from us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big
show of wiping the kiss off of her face. You reject what you can't
have--maybe that's the thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that
can be done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone
to take care of her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in
the bank, have become part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it
and re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure
out what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
I think touch is very important. I remember seeing the photos in the
intro psych classes, with those poor pathetic monkeys they denied a
maternal touch, and the monkeys would grasp onto a fake wire monkey
with cloth wrapped around it.
They tried to compensate for the lack of maternal touch? I don't quite
follow.
IIRC, the critical age for personality development is 0-5.
Funny how those are years most people can't even remember, though. I know
I was being picked on as early as four years old (preschool.) At five
(kindergarten) I drew a picture of someone killing me because I didn't
want to be picked on anymore. Telling, no?
Certainly
being in an orphanage is going to shape her, but she's still way
young, and she's got a good family now, that's what counts.
No it isn't. If she's essentially learned to resent the world so early in
life, the way I did, there is no recovering from it.
.
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| User: "Alan Harding" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
19 Sep 2004 03:27:45 PM |
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In message <Xns9563B31E79E24youremailcom@68.6.19.6>, Jamal Chapultapec
<your@email.com> writes
Janithor <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in
news:414568BD.8060707@comcast.net:
I think touch is very important. I remember seeing the photos in the
intro psych classes, with those poor pathetic monkeys they denied a
maternal touch, and the monkeys would grasp onto a fake wire monkey
with cloth wrapped around it.
They tried to compensate for the lack of maternal touch? I don't quite
follow.
It's a classic psychological experiment. They raised baby monkeys
without their mothers, but with two wire 'mothers'. One was wrapped in
cloth, the other bare, but with a milk supply. The babies spent as
little time as they could feeding, then went to the cloth mother. I
think it was the first real demonstration of the primacy of physical
contact over material gain.
By the sound of it, Maia only had a wire mother.
--
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
.
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| User: "Jamal Chapultapec" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
19 Sep 2004 09:29:15 PM |
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Alan Harding <Alan@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote in
news:BKm3mxMBveTBFwnP@harding.demon.co.uk:
In message <Xns9563B31E79E24youremailcom@68.6.19.6>, Jamal Chapultapec
<your@email.com> writes
Janithor <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in
news:414568BD.8060707@comcast.net:
I think touch is very important. I remember seeing the photos in the
intro psych classes, with those poor pathetic monkeys they denied a
maternal touch, and the monkeys would grasp onto a fake wire monkey
with cloth wrapped around it.
They tried to compensate for the lack of maternal touch? I don't quite
follow.
It's a classic psychological experiment. They raised baby monkeys
without their mothers, but with two wire 'mothers'. One was wrapped in
cloth, the other bare, but with a milk supply. The babies spent as
little time as they could feeding, then went to the cloth mother. I
think it was the first real demonstration of the primacy of physical
contact over material gain.
By the sound of it, Maia only had a wire mother.
That's so sad.
.
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 01:18:51 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"Jamal Chapultapec" <your@email.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9563B31E79E24youremailcom@68.6.19.6...
Janithor <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in
news:414568BD.8060707@comcast.net:
x-no-archive: yes
John wrote:
x-no-archiv: yes
On my way out of the building on Friday, I rode in the elevator in
the parking structure with a woman who had an infant in a stroller.
Young. Maybe 4 months old.
And the light and the noise affected the baby, who cried a little,
and was soothed by his mother, who touched his cheek and told him
that soon they would be going home.
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that
all mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something
you may not learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way
she attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can
be rough with things and with us. There's also a distance that she
maintains from us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big
show of wiping the kiss off of her face. You reject what you can't
have--maybe that's the thought.
I don't think it's my job to change that in her. I don't think that
can be done. She is who she is--two years of being without someone
to take care of her aren't going to be undone. Ever. They're in
the bank, have become part of her.
I think my job is to accept who she is, and help her grow.
Sometimes when she's flung something (she does that a lot), she will
remember that she's supposed to be gentler with it, and will go to it
and re-settle it carefully.
Today, she climbed up into my lap, and while we were trying to figure
out what to do next, she let me hug her and give her cheek a kiss.
I think touch is very important. I remember seeing the photos in the
intro psych classes, with those poor pathetic monkeys they denied a
maternal touch, and the monkeys would grasp onto a fake wire monkey
with cloth wrapped around it.
They tried to compensate for the lack of maternal touch? I don't quite
follow.
IIRC, the critical age for personality development is 0-5.
Funny how those are years most people can't even remember, though. I know
I was being picked on as early as four years old (preschool.) At five
(kindergarten) I drew a picture of someone killing me because I didn't
want to be picked on anymore. Telling, no?
Certainly
being in an orphanage is going to shape her, but she's still way
young, and she's got a good family now, that's what counts.
No it isn't. If she's essentially learned to resent the world so early in
life, the way I did, there is no recovering from it.
I think you're just telling me about the story you've decided to live out.
You need to fire the dude who's in charge of central casting in your
life--he's just plugging you into bad film noire flicks as the guy who gets
blown away in the opening scenes.
Besides--I don't believe you. You have too much apetite.
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| User: "Jamal Chapultapec" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 04:21:28 PM |
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Certainly
being in an orphanage is going to shape her, but she's still way
young, and she's got a good family now, that's what counts.
No it isn't. If she's essentially learned to resent the world so
early in life, the way I did, there is no recovering from it.
I think you're just telling me about the story you've decided to live
out. You need to fire the dude who's in charge of central casting in
your life--he's just plugging you into bad film noire flicks as the
guy who gets blown away in the opening scenes.
?!
Besides--I don't believe you. You have too much apetite.
*SnifflE* Are you calling me fat?!
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| User: "neoholistic" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 07:32:05 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
John wrote:
snip
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the thought.
snip
This is so heartbreaking.
I don't know what I'm talking about, but I remember having read what
Janithor is saying here, about the critical age period for personality
development in children.
She's still young, and seems to be in the right hands now.
--
Please keep the 'x-no-archive: yes' header.
To reach me by email: transform my account name like IBM -> HAL.
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:22:26 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"neoholistic" <ekqbwpo@terra.es> wrote in message
news:2qms3bFuta0hU1@uni-berlin.de...
x-no-archive: yes
John wrote:
snip
That's what Maia missed in those months she was at the orphanage. A
mother's touch. I think we learn gentleness from mothers (not that all
mothers are capable of teaching it), and that that's something you may
not
learn otherwise.
There's a rawness about Maia. I like it in most contexts--the way she
attacks the playground equipment, her fearlessness. But she can be
rough
with things and with us. There's also a distance that she maintains
from
us. Nearly every time I kiss her, she makes a big show of wiping the
kiss
off of her face. You reject what you can't have--maybe that's the
thought.
snip
This is so heartbreaking.
I don't know what I'm talking about, but I remember having read what
Janithor is saying here, about the critical age period for personality
development in children.
She's still young, and seems to be in the right hands now.
Thank you.
But you shouldn't feel too bad about it. That wasn't my intent--I was just
trying to process the experiences.
Yes, it makes me feel bad, and it must have been hard, not having had a mom
there to take care of her in those first 22 months. But in a lot of ways,
she's very fortunate. Except for her ear, she has good health, she is
bright and sociable and has an amazing sense of humor, and for whatever she
may have missed out on at the orphanage, she wasn't abused, sexually or
physically, as so many "natural" children are.
On top of that, when we adopted her on May 7th, she became a fairly
well-to-do little girl. :o)
All in all, she's done okay by herself--better, I would bet, than the two
siblings that her natural parents decided to keep.
It's such an amazing thing, isn't it? Chymkint to Honolulu--wow. What a
transition.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:39:17 PM |
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On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 04:22:26 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
It's such an amazing thing, isn't it? Chymkint to Honolulu--wow. What a
transition.
hm. I looked for Chymkint on the www and couldn't find it....... can
you direct me?
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist (Dr. Sid):
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 12:11:59 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"wombn" <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:1etck0pljlkv3jf6o3u2hg9s09riic5s7t@4ax.com...
On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 04:22:26 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
It's such an amazing thing, isn't it? Chymkint to Honolulu--wow. What a
transition.
hm. I looked for Chymkint on the www and couldn't find it....... can
you direct me?
There are a bunch of different spellings. I thought that was an alternative
one, but I may have had it wrong. AKA, Chymkent, Shymkint, Shemkent, etc.
Anyhow--you go to Almaty (once known as Alma Atta) and hang a right (if
you're flying in from the north anyhow). About 5 or 600 miles away (on a
line sort of due north of New Delhi) you'll run into Chymkent.
It's in the very south of the country--it's about at the middle of its
southern border.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------
And yet, somehow, I'm considered far right wing...
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=2.75&Y=0.46
This, otoh, is an extremist (Dr. Sid):
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=printable_graph&X=-8.62&Y=-7.64
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 12:50:42 AM |
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On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 05:11:59 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
"wombn" <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:1etck0pljlkv3jf6o3u2hg9s09riic5s7t@4ax.com...
On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 04:22:26 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
It's such an amazing thing, isn't it? Chymkint to Honolulu--wow. What a
transition.
hm. I looked for Chymkint on the www and couldn't find it....... can
you direct me?
There are a bunch of different spellings. I thought that was an alternative
one, but I may have had it wrong. AKA, Chymkent, Shymkint, Shemkent, etc.
Anyhow--you go to Almaty (once known as Alma Atta) and hang a right (if
you're flying in from the north anyhow). About 5 or 600 miles away (on a
line sort of due north of New Delhi) you'll run into Chymkent.
It's in the very south of the country--it's about at the middle of its
southern border.
wow, it's just not talked about anywhere, really!
I found one entry under Shemkent in Manitoba:
http://www.readingmanitoba.org/RCGWyearend2004.htm
Although I found a very few for Alma Atta (and spelling variations)
It's kind of a miracle that you found her and vice versa. Well, she
had good Advocates, then.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
.
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 12:59:19 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"wombn" <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:ha1dk0l6o0ni5edokohs0vopsf801l68ju@4ax.com...
On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 05:11:59 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
"wombn" <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:1etck0pljlkv3jf6o3u2hg9s09riic5s7t@4ax.com...
On Tue, 14 Sep 2004 04:22:26 GMT, "John" <noone@home.net> wrote:
It's such an amazing thing, isn't it? Chymkint to Honolulu--wow.
What a
transition.
hm. I looked for Chymkint on the www and couldn't find it....... can
you direct me?
There are a bunch of different spellings. I thought that was an
alternative
one, but I may have had it wrong. AKA, Chymkent, Shymkint, Shemkent,
etc.
Anyhow--you go to Almaty (once known as Alma Atta) and hang a right (if
you're flying in from the north anyhow). About 5 or 600 miles away (on a
line sort of due north of New Delhi) you'll run into Chymkent.
It's in the very south of the country--it's about at the middle of its
southern border.
wow, it's just not talked about anywhere, really!
I found one entry under Shemkent in Manitoba:
http://www.readingmanitoba.org/RCGWyearend2004.htm
Although I found a very few for Alma Atta (and spelling variations)
It's kind of a miracle that you found her and vice versa. Well, she
had good Advocates, then.
It is kind of a miracle.
.
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| User: "harakiri" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:45:40 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
John wrote: On top of that, when we adopted her on May 7th, she became a
fairly well-to-do little girl. :o)
that's my birthday!
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
13 Sep 2004 11:52:46 PM |
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"harakiri" <m.d.wittenberg@att.net> wrote in message news:UHu1d.362407$OB3.193035@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
x-no-archive: yes
John wrote: On top of that, when we adopted her on May 7th, she became a
fairly well-to-do little girl. :o)
that's my birthday!
its 6 days after mine
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| User: "John" |
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| Title: Re: In an elevator |
14 Sep 2004 12:03:33 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"harakiri" <m.d.wittenberg@att.net> wrote in message
news:UHu1d.362407$OB3.193035@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
x-no-archive: yes
John wrote: On top of that, when we adopted her on May 7th, she became a
fairly well-to-do little girl. :o)
that's my birthday!
Hey! That's cool, miyuki!
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