| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Matt Balmer" |
| Date: |
26 Dec 2003 03:44:05 PM |
| Object: |
in pain...help |
I'm trying to understand just why I feel like this.
My parents want me to be involved with the family, but I have very
little desire to.
I have things I could be doing, but I feel no motivation to do them.
I feel like nobody seems to understand -- and I worry that I myself
might not understand what's going on in my mind right now.
I feel like the proverbial bump on the log, a fifth wheel that really
serves no purpose.
I feel like I'm wasting my time on earth, and don't deserve the time God
has given me.
Help.
.
|
|
| User: "Masahiro Saito" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
26 Dec 2003 04:55:11 PM |
|
|
On Fri, 26 Dec 2003 21:44:05 GMT, Matt Balmer
<mbalmer@bitbucket.invalid.mil> wrote:
I'm trying to understand just why I feel like this.
My parents want me to be involved with the family, but I have very
little desire to.
I have things I could be doing, but I feel no motivation to do them.
I feel like nobody seems to understand -- and I worry that I myself
might not understand what's going on in my mind right now.
I feel like the proverbial bump on the log, a fifth wheel that really
serves no purpose.
I feel like I'm wasting my time on earth, and don't deserve the time God
has given me.
Help.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Masahiro Saito
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "juno7" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
26 Dec 2003 03:46:55 PM |
|
|
everyone has these feelings at times. how old are you? what are some things
that you really want that you dont have right now. do you have plans for the
future?>
"Matt Balmer" <mbalmer@bitbucket.invalid.mil> wrote in message
news:mbalmer-B26463.16440526122003@news-server-fe-02.columbus.rr.com...
I'm trying to understand just why I feel like this.
My parents want me to be involved with the family, but I have very
little desire to.
I have things I could be doing, but I feel no motivation to do them.
I feel like nobody seems to understand -- and I worry that I myself
might not understand what's going on in my mind right now.
I feel like the proverbial bump on the log, a fifth wheel that really
serves no purpose.
I feel like I'm wasting my time on earth, and don't deserve the time God
has given me.
Help.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Matt Balmer" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
26 Dec 2003 03:53:43 PM |
|
|
In article <j%1Hb.6767$UB3.4441@nwrddc03.gnilink.net>,
"juno7" <noone@nowhere.com> wrote:
everyone has these feelings at times. how old are you? what are some things
that you really want that you dont have right now. do you have plans for the
future?>
How old: 24.
Things I want that I don't have: a companion, someone who I can share my
feelings with, someone who I can spend time with without feeling like
I'm being pandered to, someone who cares.
Plans for the future: I don't really know. All I know is that I want to
stop suffering, but don't know how to get there from here.
.
|
|
|
| User: "juno7" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
26 Dec 2003 04:12:26 PM |
|
|
I think your 'plan for the future' of wanting to stop suffering is
great. but you also reveal a very important clue when you say 'i really dont
know'.
i tell you i always suffer and get depressed when i am in a period of my
life that i dont have direction or a plan for, or feel hopeless or trapped
in a situation. if you dont know what you want to be doing in 5 or 10 years,
then make that you first plan, to figure out something that has meaning for
you in life.
this might sound strange, but sometimes the most powerful thing you can
do is to stop suffering about suffering. dont make yourself 'wrong' for
having these feelings. sometimes i think we suffer more over judging
ourselves for having certain feelings then the feelings themselves.
are you in good health? do you eat well? do you live in a place that has
oppurtunties for you? have you thought about moving? going to a city that
offers you more?
when your feeling in a rut or stuck, start making changes.
"Matt Balmer" <mbalmer@bitbucket.invalid.mil> wrote in message
news:mbalmer-2A79CB.16534326122003@news-server-fe-02.columbus.rr.com...
In article <j%1Hb.6767$UB3.4441@nwrddc03.gnilink.net>,
"juno7" <noone@nowhere.com> wrote:
everyone has these feelings at times. how old are you? what are some
things
that you really want that you dont have right now. do you have plans for
the
future?>
How old: 24.
Things I want that I don't have: a companion, someone who I can share my
feelings with, someone who I can spend time with without feeling like
I'm being pandered to, someone who cares.
Plans for the future: I don't really know. All I know is that I want to
stop suffering, but don't know how to get there from here.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Peter Aylen" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
26 Dec 2003 09:56:45 PM |
|
|
Have you thought of counseling/therapy?
You might want to read up on choosing a therapist first,
since not all are good, and different approaches to helping
exist. Some might help you more than others.
Self-help psychology books appropriate to your situation
could also provide starting points to turning your life around.
That is, in my view at least, you need to work at understanding
how you got into your situation, before you can get out of it.
And that inquiry cannot be restricted to one's more superficial
perceptions that are formed in the conscious mind, but must go
to the more fundemental feelings, emotional associations, etc.,
which are buried in one's mind.
Informing yourself about how others have overcome situations
such as yours, and different approaches to helping, etc. would
give you an opportunity to get from where you are to where
you want to be. But it does involve work, starting from where
you are.
On Fri, 26 Dec 2003 21:53:43 GMT, Matt Balmer
<mbalmer@bitbucket.invalid.mil> wrote:
In article <j%1Hb.6767$UB3.4441@nwrddc03.gnilink.net>,
"juno7" <noone@nowhere.com> wrote:
everyone has these feelings at times. how old are you? what are some things
that you really want that you dont have right now. do you have plans for the
future?>
How old: 24.
Things I want that I don't have: a companion, someone who I can share my
feelings with, someone who I can spend time with without feeling like
I'm being pandered to, someone who cares.
Plans for the future: I don't really know. All I know is that I want to
stop suffering, but don't know how to get there from here.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
26 Dec 2003 11:18:44 PM |
|
|
While I am not a big fan of therapy for the most part, I think Peter
has it right. More than anything else, you sound confused, and
confusion can only be resolved through investigation. If you can't do
all the investigation on your own (which seems to be the case), it
might benefit you to have someone help you.
Good luck!
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
"Peter Aylen" <pgaylen@pacificcoast.net> wrote in message
news:gbupuv4pn5oqq17f2b4qdt6i15nhosgnee@4ax.com...
Have you thought of counseling/therapy?
You might want to read up on choosing a therapist first,
since not all are good, and different approaches to helping
exist. Some might help you more than others.
Self-help psychology books appropriate to your situation
could also provide starting points to turning your life around.
That is, in my view at least, you need to work at understanding
how you got into your situation, before you can get out of it.
And that inquiry cannot be restricted to one's more superficial
perceptions that are formed in the conscious mind, but must go
to the more fundemental feelings, emotional associations, etc.,
which are buried in one's mind.
Informing yourself about how others have overcome situations
such as yours, and different approaches to helping, etc. would
give you an opportunity to get from where you are to where
you want to be. But it does involve work, starting from where
you are.
On Fri, 26 Dec 2003 21:53:43 GMT, Matt Balmer
<mbalmer@bitbucket.invalid.mil> wrote:
In article <j%1Hb.6767$UB3.4441@nwrddc03.gnilink.net>,
"juno7" <noone@nowhere.com> wrote:
everyone has these feelings at times. how old are you? what are
some things
that you really want that you dont have right now. do you have
plans for the
future?>
How old: 24.
Things I want that I don't have: a companion, someone who I can
share my
feelings with, someone who I can spend time with without feeling
like
I'm being pandered to, someone who cares.
Plans for the future: I don't really know. All I know is that I
want to
stop suffering, but don't know how to get there from here.
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "kitty" |
|
| Title: Re: in pain...help |
27 Dec 2003 12:12:25 AM |
|
|
hi matt,
i think coming here is a good step... hopefully at least you will see that
you are not the only one who feels like this, and that it doesn't make you
"wrong."
I feel like nobody seems to understand -- and I worry that I myself
might not understand what's going on in my mind right now.
i can tell you that therapy has helped me with this... the newsgroup will
help somewhat but having someone to tell it all to helps more... sometimes
when you think out loud you hear yourself saying things and you can't
believe it, and you understand why you have certain problems or think
certain things. at the very least, write about your problems and then read
it back to yourself. but consider seeing a therapist. there's really
nothing wrong with it, in my opinion everyone should have therapy once in a
while! life is hard and we don't all learn the tools growing up that we
need to cope later on.
as for not having a companion, believe me, i know how it feels to be alone
and to want someone in your life you can share things with, and it is
especially hard during the holidays. i'm coming to understand that even if
i find that person, if i don't work out what's going on with me first, it'll
be useless because i will still be unhappy. i know it's easy to say "don't
try too hard" but it's true that you should try not to let that desire to
find someone take over your whole life or be your only goal. you have to
find stuff that makes you happy too, things you like to do or want to
accomplish. don't wait for someone else to make you happy; it will help but
it won't solve everything. you'll find someone sooner or later, i know how
much it hurts waiting. one thing i like to do is watch jerry springer -
there are some pretty messed up people that find mates! i figure if they
can, i definitely will someday!
do you have a friend you could talk to about things? i'm very good at
hiding my problems, but recently i had a total breakdown to a friend on a
particularly bad night (and no i wasn't even drunk!). it is really hard to
let someone know you are vulnerable but it's really a relief too. and
unless they are a really bad friend they will point out the good things
about you that you are overlooking yourself. this is one of my problems
too, i can go on and on about what's wrong with me but let someone ask "what
do you like about yourself" and i start crying because it's so hard for me
to say anything good. try not to let this happen - keep reminding yourself
about the good things about you, the things other people like about you.
you're not a waste and you deserve the time you have, and you deserve to be
happy. there are people who care about you, there are things you will do in
your life, things you will accomplish. you'll have a family of your own
someday. there is plenty of time. i should add that 24 is a common time to
freak out about your life. it's a time when most of us are trying to decide
what we are going to do with our lives, friends are starting to settle down
and you realize everything will change. there are so many things to think
about and worry about, and new responsibilities, and usually not a lot of
money as you take on a lot more bills. it's important to know that most
people don't really know what they want to do yet at your age. it's a scary
time but you will get through it. the career you pick now doesn't have to
be something you are locked into forever. do what you think is best for
you, if it turns out you were wrong, you can change it then.
i hope this helps! i gotta go to bed now... take care of yourself...
erica =)
"Matt Balmer" <mbalmer@bitbucket.invalid.mil> wrote in message
news:mbalmer-B26463.16440526122003@news-server-fe-02.columbus.rr.com...
I'm trying to understand just why I feel like this.
My parents want me to be involved with the family, but I have very
little desire to.
I have things I could be doing, but I feel no motivation to do them.
I feel like nobody seems to understand -- and I worry that I myself
might not understand what's going on in my mind right now.
I feel like the proverbial bump on the log, a fifth wheel that really
serves no purpose.
I feel like I'm wasting my time on earth, and don't deserve the time God
has given me.
Help.
.
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
