On Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:19:34 GMT, "Contrarian"<adrba65@gmail.com>
wrote:

to improve itself, or else.

some of you may expect private communications.

Demanding better behavior seldom gets the desired result.

Pointing out someone's bad behavior just makes most people defensive.

Shaming someone for their bad behavior doesn't work unless they
already feel ashamed of what they're doing, or at least a little
ashamed.

So what's the answer?

What it's been since a.s.d began.

You don't engage in inappropriate behavior yourself because two wrongs
don't make a right. You be the change which you wish to see in the
world. You use appropriate humor as much as possible to diffuse tense
situations. If you feel you must judge and comment, you judge and
comment on the behavior, not the person's worth as a human being. You
don't threaten because really, what can you do? Report someone to
their ISP? ISPs are a dime a dozen, and if you get them kicked off
one, they'll find another one and come back pissed and all "Ha ha!
Thought you'd stop me? Now I'll be worse than ever!"

Man, no one wishes more than I do that we could control the ways other
people react and feel and behave. We can't. So we control ourselves
and try to maintain our own dignity. We say, once, in as kind a way
as possible that what we see that's wrong with a behavior is upsetting
and counter-productive to what the group is supposed to be. We offer
support where we can, when we can. We try not to let ourselves get
sucked into the slime, we refuse to engage in social interaction with
people with whom we have moral and ethical conflicts because we
realize we can't change them.

And we survive. We let other people make their mistakes and take
responsibility for our own.

You do what you feel you must. I respect the feelings you have
regarding this issue and I wish you all the luck in the world in your
quest.
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