Two cars, one driven by a Russian priest and the other by a rabbi,
collided. They crawled out and saw that both cars were smashed.
"God gave, God took," the priest said.
"Easy comes, easy goes," the rabbi said. "Now let's drink a little, to
make things easier."
The priest poured vodka into a glass and said, "You drink first."
"No, no," the rabbi said. "You first."
The priest drank and poured vodka for the rabbi.
"No," the rabbi said, "I'll better wait now for the traffic cop."


--
- The Great Joker

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"Every time we do something, you tell me Americans will do this and will
do that. I want to tell you something very clear: don't worry about
American pressure on Israel; we, the Jewish people, control America, and
the Americans know it." - Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, October
3, 2001

"We have the Israelis coming to us for equipment. We can say we can't
possibly get the Congress to support a program like this. And they say
don't worry about the Congress. We will take care of the Congress. This
is somebody from another country, but they can do it. They own, you
know, the banks in this country. The newspapers. Just look at where the
Jewish money is." -- General George S. Brown

"Israel controls the United States Senate."
- Sen. William Fulbright