x-no-archive: yes
arethusa wrote:
On Thu, 09 Sep 2004 02:56:12 -0300, lyssa wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
accumulated wisdom...
filtered and boiled down and abbreviated...
nice sound bites but lacking in a certain believability
it's the pain that's lacking, i think :/
you've seen through me at last. without my pain, the daily, grinding,
paring to the bone and distillation of who i am, i'm boring, flat and
glib. i've had a few years of this boring flatness now and i like
it. being a drama queen gets old and tiring. i still have things to
work on about myself, but i do it quietly now.
with dignity
it isn't boring--i think it's wise
or sometimes i write
long posts and then save or delete them. i'm not even writing in my
live journal anymore hardly.
late at night i too often become maudlin or morose--i love the peace and
quiet of the wee hours, but i tend to over-think over-feel then.
it isn't pretty and i like your idea of typing posts and hitting delete
but i tell you this...there's a wisdom in glib.
yes :)
sometimes it's best
to take things at surface value and examine them no further. there is
a kindness and a comfort in things. stare too long into the abyss and
the abyss stares back at you, magnifying monsters and fears.
i wish i could sleep again
i think the combination of life and insomnia is really taking its toll
you mentioned distraction--a reminder
i really need to hone in on better distractions
living long is knowing pain
living poorly is fearing pain, perhaps
or at the least avoidance of it
very true. it's life in a little box, same-ness and stale.
i don't look for pain anymore, but i don't avoid it when
it comes. i just wait it out, having learned that everything passes
with time.
no one prepares you (nor can) for the ~years~
crises are nothing comparatively
(that sounds dismissive :/ i've had a few crises that were all-but
impossible to live through...i'm just weary)
looking over those words today i'm embarrassed. so many people are
facing horrid things right now :(
and years are just one day at a time, passing as they do, as they
must.
there are no words
there need to be
invent a new language? ;)
i like your idea of being graceful much better :)
thanks, denise
denise
.
