| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Jana" |
| Date: |
24 Jul 2003 07:49:58 PM |
| Object: |
just ignore me, i'm ok |
I just need to be here momentarily to remind myself that all of the
stupid things I have done in the past three days will someday go away.
There is no need to punish myself. There is no need for those nasty
thoughts. No. But you know what? Truthfully I think its going to
win. no, no, no.
Positive things--I graduate from grad school in May 2004. ten months
I have a new laptop computer that I enjoy
and that is all I can think of.
I want to cry out for someone to save me but there is no one here so i
can only save myself.
I think lonliness will kill me first.
I'm sorry. Just ignore me. I don't even know many of you anymore.
I'm a bad friend. Very bad friend. very very bad friend. sigh.
jana
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| User: "Alitha" |
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| Title: Re: just ignore me, i'm ok |
25 Jul 2003 01:00:46 AM |
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"Jana" wrote:
I just need to be here momentarily to remind myself that all of the
stupid things I have done in the past three days will someday go away.
There is no need to punish myself. There is no need for those nasty
thoughts. No. But you know what? Truthfully I think its going to
win. no, no, no.
It does sound rought at the moment, but I think you're right (not about it
winning, but about things going away eventually). I don't know what stupid
things you've done (or you think you've done), but I think time and
perspective can make things appear very different. Punishing yourself won't
make the pain go away, won't solve the problems. How about you give
yourself a break instead--think that perhaps you are a human being doing the
best she can to get by.
Positive things--I graduate from grad school in May 2004. ten months
That's awesome!! Way to go!!
I want to cry out for someone to save me but there is no one here so i
can only save myself.
I think that's true in that you are the person who makes the decisions about
your life, and in the end those choices are your responsibility. Which, I
realize, can be both empowering and overwhelming. But that doesn't mean
that you have to do it alone. No one else can save you perhaps, but others
can support you as work on saving yourself.
I'm sorry. Just ignore me. I don't even know many of you anymore.
I'm a bad friend. Very bad friend. very very bad friend. sigh.
You appear to be afflicted with monsters jabbering negative things about
yourself at you. That's not a fun place to be, I know. Maybe if I throw
some Cheerios at them, they'll be distracted and leave you in peace for a
bit?
Alitha
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| User: "Jana" |
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| Title: Re: just ignore me, i'm ok |
25 Jul 2003 07:51:49 AM |
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Hi, Alitha.
It does sound rought at the moment, but I think you're right (not about it
winning, but about things going away eventually). I don't know what stupid
things you've done (or you think you've done), but I think time and
perspective can make things appear very different. Punishing yourself won't
make the pain go away, won't solve the problems. How about you give
yourself a break instead--think that perhaps you are a human being doing the
best she can to get by.
Well, I took a break by going to bed early. It hasn't helped much but
I think you guys are going to help this morning. =)
Trust me, I've done stupid things, I always do when I get like this.
Its like I can't even think. When I'm not feeling badly everything is
ok but when I'm crazy, Im just flat out crazy. Its bizarre to me.
That's awesome!! Way to go!!
Thanks. Its really been hard work.
You appear to be afflicted with monsters jabbering negative things about
yourself at you. That's not a fun place to be, I know. Maybe if I throw
some Cheerios at them, they'll be distracted and leave you in peace for a
bit?
Ok, now this made me smile. I don't have any Cheerios but I'll figure
something out. Thank you so much.
Jana
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: just ignore me, i'm ok |
25 Jul 2003 06:13:16 AM |
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On Thu, 24 Jul 2003 19:49:58 -0500, Jana <cbwp34@mtco.com> wrote:
<(((*>
<(((*> I just need to be here momentarily to remind myself that all of the
<(((*> stupid things I have done in the past three days will someday go away.
<(((*> There is no need to punish myself. There is no need for those nasty
<(((*> thoughts. No. But you know what? Truthfully I think its going to
<(((*> win. no, no, no.
<(((*> Positive things--I graduate from grad school in May 2004. ten months
<(((*> I have a new laptop computer that I enjoy
<(((*> and that is all I can think of.
That's a good start. How is grad school going?
<(((*> I want to cry out for someone to save me but there is no one here so i
<(((*> can only save myself.
<(((*> I think lonliness will kill me first.
<(((*> I'm sorry. Just ignore me. I don't even know many of you anymore.
<(((*> I'm a bad friend. Very bad friend. very very bad friend. sigh.
Very lovely person. Very lovely, lovely person. Lots of us here
remember you as a sweet and lovely person. And there are some
very nice new folks here who will be delighted to make your
acquaintence
So maybe stick around for a little while.
Tara J. Ballance
Montreal, Canada
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| User: "Jana" |
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| Title: Re: just ignore me, i'm ok |
25 Jul 2003 07:57:10 AM |
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Hi, Tara.
That's a good start. How is grad school going?
Its ok. Its been rough. This spring and summer both I have taken
nine semester hours while working full time. I just have to get
through three more weeks and that will be over. In the Fall I will
start my practicum/internship.
Very lovely person. Very lovely, lovely person. Lots of us here
remember you as a sweet and lovely person. And there are some
very nice new folks here who will be delighted to make your
acquaintence
Thanks, Tara. I'm only nice when I'm not crazy and thats not very
often.
So maybe stick around for a little while.
You know, I'm always here. I am always reading. I don't miss a
single day. I just don't feel like I have anything worthwhle to say.
Thank you for your support Tara. You've always been there for me and
I appreciate it tremendously.
jana
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