| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Kenster" |
| Date: |
13 May 2005 12:36:28 AM |
| Object: |
Just letting something out |
I'm not looking for advice or anything with this but I just need to
get it out cause I really don't have anywhere else to put it or say
it.
I'm thinking of doing a separation with my wife and I will live alone
so I can concentrate 100% of my time on intense therapy and health. I
could still do the dad stuff and things so that I am still there for
my boys, but I have to do something to get away from here and quit
damaging and fucking up their lives.
I know it seems like its that "depression talking" and all that stuff,
but it is getting so much bigger than that. I started to plant the
seeds of discussion tonight and I'm gonna have to say something to her
soon about my ideas. I'm gonna find out about outpatient support from
my support group in the morning for daily assistance programs.
I don't think she is happy anymore. I think she feels obligated to
stay with me because she thinks I wouldn't survive if she moved on. I
have to learn to survive without her constant help in order to make
our marriage stronger and last. I can't handle the guilt of being a
constant burden on her and my boys any longer. This isn't a mental
disease talking. This is plain old truth. I can't stand the thought
of holding them back in life any longer. If I can't move forward with
them then I can't be so selfish as to hold them back. It's just not
the right thing to do.
I hope she understands why I need to do this. I'm worried that if I
don't do something drastic soon then I won't survive long enough to
worry about it anymore.
I have to make a change.....
.
|
|
| User: "Contrarian" |
|
| Title: Re: Just letting something out |
15 May 2005 06:57:40 AM |
|
|
Kenster <kensterbpd@hotmail.com> wrote:
I'm thinking of doing a separation with my wife and I will live alone
so I can concentrate 100% of my time on intense therapy and health.
My take? Don't do it. You may need to "separate" emotionally.
She may well be over-burdened. But people have learned to deal
with this without formal separation.
soon about my ideas. I'm gonna find out about outpatient support from
my support group in the morning for daily assistance programs.
Do this. Tell her you are looking into it.
I have to make a change.....
I have a book _ Contagious Emotions _ by Ronald Potell
M.D. which discusses your situation. Free to you if you want it.
--
but the edge is still Out there. Or maybe it's In... HST (1967)
when i got to the edge , i built a deck % (2005)
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
|
| Title: Re: Just letting something out |
13 May 2005 01:00:19 AM |
|
|
Kenster - I appreciate your desire to spare your wife and children the
impact of your illness. I won't say you are wrong, because I don't
know (although I am skeptical). What I think most is that you are not
likely to be qualified to make a well-informed decision on the
subject, however motivated you are to do right by your family. Your
wife may also not be in a position to see clearly, either.
I know you aren't looking for advice, so I hope you'll forgive me for
offering some, but I'd really recommend you see a couple's therapist
to get some more objective perspective on what the best strategy is
for everyone at this point, rather than making a unilateral decision.
You and your wife might both get some useful insight into how your
illness affects those around you, and what makes sense as the best
strategy.
I hope you will consider this idea seriously. You are talking about a
very big step with a very big emotional impact on everyone, not
something to be taken lightly (not that you are). It deserves more
careful consideration than you can manage on your own. I can believe
that it isn't just "depression talking" in terms of wanting to do the
best for your family, but there is no guarantee that the approach you
are contemplating is really the best one. Please get some outside
input before making this decision.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D.
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000/
=====
"Kenster" <kensterbpd@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7ke881h8e84p0f83egqbqv27jpcf370q44@4ax.com...
I'm not looking for advice or anything with this but I just need to
get it out cause I really don't have anywhere else to put it or say
it.
I'm thinking of doing a separation with my wife and I will live
alone
so I can concentrate 100% of my time on intense therapy and health.
I
could still do the dad stuff and things so that I am still there for
my boys, but I have to do something to get away from here and quit
damaging and fucking up their lives.
I know it seems like its that "depression talking" and all that
stuff,
but it is getting so much bigger than that. I started to plant the
seeds of discussion tonight and I'm gonna have to say something to
her
soon about my ideas. I'm gonna find out about outpatient support
from
my support group in the morning for daily assistance programs.
I don't think she is happy anymore. I think she feels obligated to
stay with me because she thinks I wouldn't survive if she moved on.
I
have to learn to survive without her constant help in order to make
our marriage stronger and last. I can't handle the guilt of being a
constant burden on her and my boys any longer. This isn't a mental
disease talking. This is plain old truth. I can't stand the
thought
of holding them back in life any longer. If I can't move forward
with
them then I can't be so selfish as to hold them back. It's just not
the right thing to do.
I hope she understands why I need to do this. I'm worried that if I
don't do something drastic soon then I won't survive long enough to
worry about it anymore.
I have to make a change.....
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
|
| Title: Re: Just letting something out |
13 May 2005 11:53:28 PM |
|
|
Kenster - I appreciate your desire to spare your wife and children the
impact of your illness. I won't say you are wrong, because I don't
know (although I am skeptical). What I think most is that you are not
likely to be qualified to make a well-informed decision on the
subject, however motivated you are to do right by your family. Your
wife may also not be in a position to see clearly, either.
I know you aren't looking for advice, so I hope you'll forgive me for
offering some, but I'd really recommend you see a couple's therapist
to get some more objective perspective on what the best strategy is
for everyone at this point, rather than making a unilateral decision.
You and your wife might both get some useful insight into how your
illness affects those around you, and what makes sense as the best
strategy.
I hope you will consider this idea seriously. You are talking about a
very big step with a very big emotional impact on everyone, not
something to be taken lightly (not that you are). It deserves more
careful consideration than you can manage on your own. I can believe
that it isn't just "depression talking" in terms of wanting to do the
best for your family, but there is no guarantee that the approach you
are contemplating is really the best one. Please get some outside
input before making this decision.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D.
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000/
=====
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "John" |
|
| Title: Re: Just letting something out |
13 May 2005 07:02:52 PM |
|
|
Not a good idea.
IMHO.
"Kenster" <kensterbpd@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7ke881h8e84p0f83egqbqv27jpcf370q44@4ax.com...
I'm not looking for advice or anything with this but I just need to
get it out cause I really don't have anywhere else to put it or say
it.
I'm thinking of doing a separation with my wife and I will live alone
so I can concentrate 100% of my time on intense therapy and health. I
could still do the dad stuff and things so that I am still there for
my boys, but I have to do something to get away from here and quit
damaging and fucking up their lives.
I know it seems like its that "depression talking" and all that stuff,
but it is getting so much bigger than that. I started to plant the
seeds of discussion tonight and I'm gonna have to say something to her
soon about my ideas. I'm gonna find out about outpatient support from
my support group in the morning for daily assistance programs.
I don't think she is happy anymore. I think she feels obligated to
stay with me because she thinks I wouldn't survive if she moved on. I
have to learn to survive without her constant help in order to make
our marriage stronger and last. I can't handle the guilt of being a
constant burden on her and my boys any longer. This isn't a mental
disease talking. This is plain old truth. I can't stand the thought
of holding them back in life any longer. If I can't move forward with
them then I can't be so selfish as to hold them back. It's just not
the right thing to do.
I hope she understands why I need to do this. I'm worried that if I
don't do something drastic soon then I won't survive long enough to
worry about it anymore.
I have to make a change.....
.
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