| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Nutshell" |
| Date: |
10 May 2004 01:23:52 PM |
| Object: |
Lost cause |
"Do me a favor and don't bother coming to see me later"
She hangs up.
I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm no use to anyone. I hurt my
partner's feeling badly this morning, because she thought I was having a go
at her, when I wasn't. I can't seem to do anything right....and whatever I
say is wrong, or taken the wrong way. I hate the person I've become and I
wish my life would come to an end, because I'm tired of living. In a stupid
fit of rage, I punched my head earlier, because I wanted to knock myself
unconscious. I don't want to be awake...I don't want to feel anymore.
It's like I'm in so much pain that I don't know what to do with myself. If
I knew it'd work for sure, I'd OD or something. I can't just sit here in
silence, in this state of emotional turmoil. I went out for a walk earlier,
but that didn't help. I hate silence...I hate it. I hate sitting here,
with my thoughts racing away, doing more and more damage.
I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
I want to die....more than anything. I feel like a lost cause.
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| User: "crysalis" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
10 May 2004 08:25:25 PM |
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"Nutshell" <puregrungerock@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<2g9vlcFcbdrU1@uni-berlin.de>...
"Do me a favor and don't bother coming to see me later"
She hangs up.
I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm no use to anyone. I hurt my
partner's feeling badly this morning, because she thought I was having a go
at her, when I wasn't. I can't seem to do anything right....and whatever I
say is wrong, or taken the wrong way. I hate the person I've become and I
wish my life would come to an end, because I'm tired of living. In a stupid
fit of rage, I punched my head earlier, because I wanted to knock myself
unconscious. I don't want to be awake...I don't want to feel anymore.
I know, sometimes the worst pain is the pain we cause to those we
love, the ones we want to hurt the least.
There have definitely been times I wanted to sleep for a year or more,
just be out cold.
It's like I'm in so much pain that I don't know what to do with myself. If
I knew it'd work for sure, I'd OD or something. I can't just sit here in
silence, in this state of emotional turmoil. I went out for a walk earlier,
but that didn't help. I hate silence...I hate it. I hate sitting here,
with my thoughts racing away, doing more and more damage.
Taking a walk was a good idea, even if it didn't seem to help.
I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
I want to die....more than anything. I feel like a lost cause.
Remember, this disease lies all the time. Perhaps one of the biggest
lies is that the pain will definitely stop when you die. I don't know
why that one's so easy to believe.
And you are NOT a lost cause, as long as you don't give up on
yourself.
You can't be completely without hope. You just moved to a new city for
a reason. And I know for a fact that the weather's been outrageous,
one gorgeous day after another. Maybe you should set an agenda to see
more of the area.
Hang in there, it can get better.
Bobbie
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| User: "Anon" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
10 May 2004 02:40:01 PM |
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I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
Know exactly how you feel. I want this too. It'd put an end to my misery. I
have too much hope for the future when that hope has far too little basis. I
just want something to set me off so bad that I just do it and not care.
"Nutshell" <puregrungerock@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:2g9vlcFcbdrU1@uni-berlin.de...
"Do me a favor and don't bother coming to see me later"
She hangs up.
I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm no use to anyone. I hurt my
partner's feeling badly this morning, because she thought I was having a
go
at her, when I wasn't. I can't seem to do anything right....and whatever
I
say is wrong, or taken the wrong way. I hate the person I've become and I
wish my life would come to an end, because I'm tired of living. In a
stupid
fit of rage, I punched my head earlier, because I wanted to knock myself
unconscious. I don't want to be awake...I don't want to feel anymore.
It's like I'm in so much pain that I don't know what to do with myself.
If
I knew it'd work for sure, I'd OD or something. I can't just sit here in
silence, in this state of emotional turmoil. I went out for a walk
earlier,
but that didn't help. I hate silence...I hate it. I hate sitting here,
with my thoughts racing away, doing more and more damage.
I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
I want to die....more than anything. I feel like a lost cause.
.
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| User: "Nutshell" |
|
| Title: Re: Lost cause |
12 May 2004 11:10:39 AM |
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"Anon" <anon@anon.com> wrote in message
news:409fdad1$0$176$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
Know exactly how you feel. I want this too. It'd put an end to my misery.
I
have too much hope for the future when that hope has far too little basis.
I
just want something to set me off so bad that I just do it and not care.
Me too....I almost want something bad to happen, to give me that oen final
push that I need.
.
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| User: "Anon" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
13 May 2004 03:06:07 AM |
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Me too....I almost want something bad to happen, to give me that oen final
push that I need.
That something bad happened yesterday, I was torn up over it and literally
now I'm not being a depressed pessamist but I have such a little chance of a
happy life but still I didn't want to do anything stupid. I don't know
what's up with me.
"Nutshell" <puregrungerock@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:2gf0juF23greU1@uni-berlin.de...
"Anon" <anon@anon.com> wrote in message
news:409fdad1$0$176$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
Know exactly how you feel. I want this too. It'd put an end to my
misery.
I
have too much hope for the future when that hope has far too little
basis.
I
just want something to set me off so bad that I just do it and not care.
.
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| User: "Pain Devine" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
10 May 2004 01:57:39 PM |
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I wanna die all the time. Being dead wont help though. You're already in
hell... and trust me, depression IS hell. Go to a shrink, trust me, they're
fun. I felt a lot better after my first few therapy sessions. They're smart
people.
.
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
10 May 2004 04:30:45 PM |
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On Mon, 10 May 2004 14:23:52 -0400, "Nutshell"
<puregrungerock@hotmail.com> wrote:
"Do me a favor and don't bother coming to see me later"
She hangs up.
I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm no use to anyone. I hurt my
partner's feeling badly this morning, because she thought I was having a go
at her, when I wasn't. I can't seem to do anything right....and whatever I
say is wrong, or taken the wrong way
hm.. sounds like in this particular instance that the problem is with
*her*, not you.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
.
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| User: "Nutshell" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
12 May 2004 11:12:15 AM |
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"wombn" <wombnhearmeroar@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:j2tv9090pa3g1udfh1n0rrafrh03tsjiav@4ax.com...
On Mon, 10 May 2004 14:23:52 -0400, "Nutshell"
<puregrungerock@hotmail.com> wrote:
"Do me a favor and don't bother coming to see me later"
She hangs up.
I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm no use to anyone. I hurt my
partner's feeling badly this morning, because she thought I was having a
go
at her, when I wasn't. I can't seem to do anything right....and whatever
I
say is wrong, or taken the wrong way
hm.. sounds like in this particular instance that the problem is with
*her*, not you.
We both have problems...not just her :(
.
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| User: "Jeremy" |
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| Title: Re: Lost cause |
10 May 2004 06:57:20 PM |
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i'm sorry you are in so much pain. if it helps, me too. i am
overburdened with it sometimes. i can't kill myself cause i'm too much
of a chicken sh*t for that. i can't make it better by going out and
meeting new girls because i'm too much of a chicken sh*t for that. the
girl i Was dating said it wasn't the right timing for us. i sort of
agree...but now she's dating someone else...and i have noone else to
occupy my time and my mind like she does. knowing what i once with
her...knowing full well that i missed my opportunity with her and hoping
for a second chance somewhere down the road. i don't meet or date many
girls so it's not ehh you can find another one, no prob. i was alone
before i met this girl for 6 years. and now that i have lost her,
loneliness is just eating me alive. i don't know what to do with myself
very often. including this morning on the drive to work. i am there with
you. take care of yourself.
jeremy
Nutshell wrote:
"Do me a favor and don't bother coming to see me later"
She hangs up.
I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm no use to anyone. I hurt my
partner's feeling badly this morning, because she thought I was having a go
at her, when I wasn't. I can't seem to do anything right....and whatever I
say is wrong, or taken the wrong way. I hate the person I've become and I
wish my life would come to an end, because I'm tired of living. In a stupid
fit of rage, I punched my head earlier, because I wanted to knock myself
unconscious. I don't want to be awake...I don't want to feel anymore.
It's like I'm in so much pain that I don't know what to do with myself. If
I knew it'd work for sure, I'd OD or something. I can't just sit here in
silence, in this state of emotional turmoil. I went out for a walk earlier,
but that didn't help. I hate silence...I hate it. I hate sitting here,
with my thoughts racing away, doing more and more damage.
I almost want something to trigger me enough so that I'll kill myself
without thinking about anything else.
I want to die....more than anything. I feel like a lost cause.
.
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| User: "Nutshell" |
|
| Title: Re: Lost cause |
12 May 2004 11:15:25 AM |
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"Jeremy" <everythingafter@NOSPAMmindspring.com> wrote in message
news:AFUnc.1312$zO3.901@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
i'm sorry you are in so much pain. if it helps, me too. i am
overburdened with it sometimes. i can't kill myself cause i'm too much
of a chicken sh*t for that. i can't make it better by going out and
meeting new girls because i'm too much of a chicken sh*t for that. the
girl i Was dating said it wasn't the right timing for us. i sort of
agree...but now she's dating someone else...and i have noone else to
occupy my time and my mind like she does. knowing what i once with
her...knowing full well that i missed my opportunity with her and hoping
for a second chance somewhere down the road. i don't meet or date many
girls so it's not ehh you can find another one, no prob. i was alone
before i met this girl for 6 years. and now that i have lost her,
loneliness is just eating me alive. i don't know what to do with myself
very often. including this morning on the drive to work. i am there with
you. take care of yourself.
jeremy
Hey Jeremy....
I'm in a relationship, and it can be just as lonely...trust me. I used to
think that it wasn't the case, but it is....especially when you're living
with another depressed person...one who goes cold for long periods and won't
even acknowledge your presence.
I've come to the conclusion that I'll always be lonely...even if I'm in a
relationship. No one really understands....I don't think anyone can. I
can't even put my fear into words, and I don't think I'd want to even if I
could, because I hate to dwell on it.
Like the subject header said...I'm a lost cause.
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