x-no-archive: yes

the relationship that seems to be building has become so intimate and
comfy. how could it not be love. sex is interesting and fun.

the best part is the affection...and the attention. listening and
responding before going into what's on his mind. taking turns
expressing ourselves. it's so easy and relaxed.

can't stop thinking about him, wanting to be with him. sometimes, i
even slip and say i love him in my head when i'm thinking about this
person. i'm trying not to let myself go over the edge on this. trying
to stay centered and focused. losing the battle...thinking of my
sweetcakes.

he's obviously attracted to me and interested in me. why can't that be
enough. why do i want so badly for him to fall in love with me. he's
a playa. he's too desirable to be tied to one person (my words, not
his). why do i want so badly to have him all to myself.