| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"RJ" |
| Date: |
11 Oct 2004 07:59:32 PM |
| Object: |
Maybe "one day" never comes.... |
I've checked in with this group from time to time over the last ten or
so years. Im 25 years old. Ive been on meds since 1994. I've come to
realize recently that I've always had a hope, or a belief even, in the
back of my mind that things won't always be this way. That "one day" I
will look back on this period of my life and be extraordinarily
grateful that I am past it. As the years go by, and nothing seems to
be improving in the least, I am starting to lose this hope or belief.
There aren't always happy endings. The universe owes me absolutely
nothing for the suffering I have experienced. I may very well be just
as miserable, or more so, for another 50 years. What would it take for
there to be any other outcome?? But enough of my unabashed optimism...
RJ
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: please read this please |
14 Oct 2004 02:45:32 PM |
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am just so puzzled and perplexed and disgusted with myself.
had a local non profit newsletter accept an article proposal
this was two weeks ago. I have about 250 lines of maybe
750 done, and did nothing yesterday. Sat/Sun I was kind of
sick actually. I don't know why I don't do anything, much.
I had a clinic appt yesterday. I can't see that taking so
much out of me. Tuesday I remember the big event was putting
the raincoat zipper lining in the coat. I cannot believe how
much pain that caused me. I found the lining much sooner than
I thought I would. Looking at the two items was just awful.
I think that is because I don't do this often.
Yesterday also putting the neighbor's mail inside (the postman
sometimes leaves stuff outside the mailboxes) inside the building
proper, not in the vestibule (we each of us take the left stuff
inside) some of it fell down behind the radiator (with a shelf
on top) I sat on the stairs and just didn't want to do
anything at all.
But I wasn't feeling really down or deeply hopeless.
Maybe if I write some of it tonight I can take what I have
done physically there tomorrow to show I did some. I do
know the deadline is not absolutely fixed.
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| User: "JohnM" |
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| Title: Re: please read this please |
14 Oct 2004 06:41:29 PM |
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Hi Contrarian.....just want to make a quick post here because what you
describe is what I used to feel. It is also something I have seen
desrcribed repeatedly in the book I read almost every day "Mental Health
Through Will Training" by Dr. Abraham Low. I dont want to push his
techniques. but your post was like reading from the book. Many people have
been helped by his self help techniques, including myself. I go to a group
meeting once a week and have for 5 years. There are hundreds of meetings,
listed on the website. You read the book, attend meetings, hear how others
applied the techniques and practice them in your own life. And it all deals
with the very things you talked about. Feel free to ignore this, but I
just felt almost compelled to respond. Hope you feel better and good luck
with the article!
JohnM
http://recovery-inc.org/introduction.html
http://recovery-inc.org/members/forums/
"Contrarian" <adrba@nyct.net> wrote in message
news:wHAbd.4893$Ae.3308@newsread1.dllstx09.us.to.verio.net...
am just so puzzled and perplexed and disgusted with myself.
had a local non profit newsletter accept an article proposal
this was two weeks ago. I have about 250 lines of maybe
750 done, and did nothing yesterday. Sat/Sun I was kind of
sick actually. I don't know why I don't do anything, much.
I had a clinic appt yesterday. I can't see that taking so
much out of me. Tuesday I remember the big event was putting
the raincoat zipper lining in the coat. I cannot believe how
much pain that caused me. I found the lining much sooner than
I thought I would. Looking at the two items was just awful.
I think that is because I don't do this often.
Yesterday also putting the neighbor's mail inside (the postman
sometimes leaves stuff outside the mailboxes) inside the building
proper, not in the vestibule (we each of us take the left stuff
inside) some of it fell down behind the radiator (with a shelf
on top) I sat on the stairs and just didn't want to do
anything at all.
But I wasn't feeling really down or deeply hopeless.
Maybe if I write some of it tonight I can take what I have
done physically there tomorrow to show I did some. I do
know the deadline is not absolutely fixed.
.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: please read this please |
14 Oct 2004 10:55:08 PM |
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JohnM <scoobyru@optonline.net> wrote:
Hi Contrarian.....just want to make a quick post here because what you
describe is what I used to feel. It is also something I have seen
desrcribed repeatedly in the book I read almost every day "Mental Health
Through Will Training" by Dr. Abraham Low.
I've seen that book. I'm not sure where i'd fit another meeting in
my life right now (I'm booked for a weekly peer to peer group for
the next two months, I am trying stuff guys)
http://recovery-inc.org/members/forums/
I'll check it out.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: please read this please |
14 Oct 2004 06:04:08 PM |
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On 2004-10-14, Contrarian <adrba@nyct.net> wrote:
snip
But I wasn't feeling really down or deeply hopeless.
Maybe if I write some of it tonight I can take what I have
done physically there tomorrow to show I did some. I do
know the deadline is not absolutely fixed.
Yes, do show them that you are working on it. If you feel like it, mention
that you are struggling with serious Depression so can't work as quickly as
you'd like.
When I find myself just looking into space, it is not a good sign - the
very lack of feeling is itself part of the warning.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
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| User: "=^.^=" |
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| Title: Re: please read this please |
15 Oct 2004 12:34:00 AM |
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On Fri, 15 Oct 2004 00:04:08 +0100, Whiskers
<catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote:
When I find myself just looking into space, it is not a good sign - the=20
very lack of feeling is itself part of the warning.
hmm, not my symptomology...
when I look into space, I see and hear things. and thyangs
past, present, future, to attach some tag to it...
foax usually like tagged information files...
even in dreams, I know the parts that are from other dreams
ohmiiaow...
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| User: "crysalis" |
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| Title: Re: please read this please |
14 Oct 2004 10:16:43 PM |
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Try and do the best you can. Remember that the big D often makes the
very act of getting through the day exhausting and overwhelming.
I often find it's better to force myself to endure the pain and do
something than to give in to the daze. There are lots of times I am
unsuccessful, though.
I hope you are doing better already.
Bobbie
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