| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Wrecking Ball" |
| Date: |
30 Oct 2003 08:30:19 AM |
| Object: |
More information... |
Well I just wrote nearly 3 paragraphs of what is going on with me but I
just erased him. I am embarrased at saying(and you know I usually dont
hold back :) ). I had a strange experience when I walked over a
pedestrian bridge I wanted to jump. I have always had some thoughts like
that going through my *****, but this time it was a very comfortable
thought and I swear it seems something was pushing my body to the edge.
When I got to the end of the bridge I was breathing very heavy, etc. I
was probably scared what just happened. It was the first time for me
that it didnt bother me. I hope it was just a very bad moment and wont
repeat. I also decide I am going to stand up for my rights on what
happened, etc. Anyway, I have been forcing myself to stay offline at
night because that simply will lead to my own "research" on myself which
will spiral me down even more. I made a promise to my new therapist I
would stay off for a week. Anyway I am going to check in tonight and
maybe help a newbie out. If Amy is reading I hope you are doing ok and
getting some help on here--do not become co-dependent on a "friend" or
"friend mom" in such a way to throw your life away for them. I have been
thinking that you exhibit some co-dependency. Read up on it online and
think about it. But I hope you have gotten some help on here ok? :) Ok I
am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
.
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: More information... |
30 Oct 2003 08:51:59 PM |
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Hello, my friend. I've been trying to email you. I wanted to
know if you were ok.
I know that feeling of comfort, that feeling of ease. It would
be so easy. Release. They shoot horses, don't they? I've been
there. Everything would end. Over, done, easy, and out.
The things that held me back:
My little guys. Who would take care of them? My will specifies
that certain people will get certain of my buds and money to
take care of them. Still, not everyone is placed yet. Can't go
until I take care of that.
My folks. Can I do that to my parents? You should not have to
outlive your kids! That's one I know by heart.
When I was here before, someone posted some very graphic links
(pictures etc.) about people finding your body -- and what it
would look like, how it would affect them. These images are
still with me. They influence me.
Wish I had more for you.
Please, take your meds. Please see your pdoc. Please keep
talking to us. Some decisions are irrevocable.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: More information... |
31 Oct 2003 05:12:49 AM |
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I have been trying to email you too. I have not received any email from
you, though I have not checked this morning yet. Yeah this week has been
very damn tough for some reason. I cannot say I was very close to doing
anything stupid---only that the thoughts in my mind didnt bother me this
time which is scary itself. Yeah my parents would be the one thing that
would hold me back I am sure if I ever got to that point. Amazingly I
got up an hour ago to go to the gym(have not been all week) and I
decided instead to do 45 min of yoga at home and I feel great after
that. Dont underestimate the power of Ashtanga! You do not need more for
me---your kind words are enough :) I do not think I thanked Tracy for
his the other day--I hope he is reading this! You stay off ASD for
several days and there are zillions of posts!
One day lets get this email thing straightened out eh :)
sabra wrote:
Hello, my friend. I've been trying to email you. I wanted to
know if you were ok.
I know that feeling of comfort, that feeling of ease. It would
be so easy. Release. They shoot horses, don't they? I've been
there. Everything would end. Over, done, easy, and out.
The things that held me back:
My little guys. Who would take care of them? My will specifies
that certain people will get certain of my buds and money to
take care of them. Still, not everyone is placed yet. Can't go
until I take care of that.
My folks. Can I do that to my parents? You should not have to
outlive your kids! That's one I know by heart.
When I was here before, someone posted some very graphic links
(pictures etc.) about people finding your body -- and what it
would look like, how it would affect them. These images are
still with me. They influence me.
Wish I had more for you.
Please, take your meds. Please see your pdoc. Please keep
talking to us. Some decisions are irrevocable.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: More information... |
30 Oct 2003 11:51:27 AM |
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On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:30:19 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Well I just wrote nearly 3 paragraphs of what is going on with me but I
just erased him. I am embarrased at saying(and you know I usually dont
hold back :) ). I had a strange experience when I walked over a
pedestrian bridge I wanted to jump. I have always had some thoughts like
that going through my *****, but this time it was a very comfortable
thought and I swear it seems something was pushing my body to the edge.
When I got to the end of the bridge I was breathing very heavy, etc. I
was probably scared what just happened. It was the first time for me
that it didnt bother me. I hope it was just a very bad moment and wont
repeat. I also decide I am going to stand up for my rights on what
happened, etc. Anyway, I have been forcing myself to stay offline at
night because that simply will lead to my own "research" on myself which
will spiral me down even more. I made a promise to my new therapist I
would stay off for a week. Anyway I am going to check in tonight and
maybe help a newbie out. If Amy is reading I hope you are doing ok and
getting some help on here--do not become co-dependent on a "friend" or
"friend mom" in such a way to throw your life away for them. I have been
thinking that you exhibit some co-dependency. Read up on it online and
think about it. But I hope you have gotten some help on here ok? :) Ok I
am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
Don't get any on the monitor, 'K? Sheesh! :^P
Tracy Barber
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: More information... |
30 Oct 2003 09:30:06 PM |
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am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
TMI =)
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: More information... |
30 Oct 2003 08:32:40 PM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:30:19 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Well I just wrote nearly 3 paragraphs of what is going on with me but I
just erased him. I am embarrased at saying(and you know I usually dont
hold back :) ). I had a strange experience when I walked over a
pedestrian bridge I wanted to jump. I have always had some thoughts like
that going through my *****, but this time it was a very comfortable
thought and I swear it seems something was pushing my body to the edge.
When I got to the end of the bridge I was breathing very heavy, etc. I
was probably scared what just happened. It was the first time for me
that it didnt bother me. I hope it was just a very bad moment and wont
repeat. I also decide I am going to stand up for my rights on what
happened, etc. Anyway, I have been forcing myself to stay offline at
night because that simply will lead to my own "research" on myself which
will spiral me down even more. I made a promise to my new therapist I
would stay off for a week. Anyway I am going to check in tonight and
maybe help a newbie out. If Amy is reading I hope you are doing ok and
getting some help on here--do not become co-dependent on a "friend" or
"friend mom" in such a way to throw your life away for them. I have been
thinking that you exhibit some co-dependency. Read up on it online and
think about it. But I hope you have gotten some help on here ok? :) Ok I
am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
Don't get any on the monitor, 'K? Sheesh! :^P
Tracy Barber
haha
.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: More information... |
30 Oct 2003 09:36:24 PM |
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On Fri, 31 Oct 2003 02:32:40 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:30:19 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Well I just wrote nearly 3 paragraphs of what is going on with me but I
just erased him. I am embarrased at saying(and you know I usually dont
hold back :) ). I had a strange experience when I walked over a
pedestrian bridge I wanted to jump. I have always had some thoughts like
that going through my *****, but this time it was a very comfortable
thought and I swear it seems something was pushing my body to the edge.
When I got to the end of the bridge I was breathing very heavy, etc. I
was probably scared what just happened. It was the first time for me
that it didnt bother me. I hope it was just a very bad moment and wont
repeat. I also decide I am going to stand up for my rights on what
happened, etc. Anyway, I have been forcing myself to stay offline at
night because that simply will lead to my own "research" on myself which
will spiral me down even more. I made a promise to my new therapist I
would stay off for a week. Anyway I am going to check in tonight and
maybe help a newbie out. If Amy is reading I hope you are doing ok and
getting some help on here--do not become co-dependent on a "friend" or
"friend mom" in such a way to throw your life away for them. I have been
thinking that you exhibit some co-dependency. Read up on it online and
think about it. But I hope you have gotten some help on here ok? :) Ok I
am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
Don't get any on the monitor, 'K? Sheesh! :^P
Tracy Barber
haha
Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
Tracy Barber
.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: More information... |
31 Oct 2003 05:17:18 AM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Fri, 31 Oct 2003 02:32:40 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:30:19 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Well I just wrote nearly 3 paragraphs of what is going on with me but I
just erased him. I am embarrased at saying(and you know I usually dont
hold back :) ). I had a strange experience when I walked over a
pedestrian bridge I wanted to jump. I have always had some thoughts like
that going through my *****, but this time it was a very comfortable
thought and I swear it seems something was pushing my body to the edge.
When I got to the end of the bridge I was breathing very heavy, etc. I
was probably scared what just happened. It was the first time for me
that it didnt bother me. I hope it was just a very bad moment and wont
repeat. I also decide I am going to stand up for my rights on what
happened, etc. Anyway, I have been forcing myself to stay offline at
night because that simply will lead to my own "research" on myself which
will spiral me down even more. I made a promise to my new therapist I
would stay off for a week. Anyway I am going to check in tonight and
maybe help a newbie out. If Amy is reading I hope you are doing ok and
getting some help on here--do not become co-dependent on a "friend" or
"friend mom" in such a way to throw your life away for them. I have been
thinking that you exhibit some co-dependency. Read up on it online and
think about it. But I hope you have gotten some help on here ok? :) Ok I
am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
Don't get any on the monitor, 'K? Sheesh! :^P
Tracy Barber
haha
Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
Tracy Barber
Yep,,,,for $34.95/month you too can see me read ASD in the buff! The
frightening thing is I know for certain I could put up a webcam and CC
link and someone somewhere will plonk down some cash.
.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: More information... |
31 Oct 2003 12:31:52 PM |
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On Fri, 31 Oct 2003 11:17:18 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Fri, 31 Oct 2003 02:32:40 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:30:19 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Well I just wrote nearly 3 paragraphs of what is going on with me but I
just erased him. I am embarrased at saying(and you know I usually dont
hold back :) ). I had a strange experience when I walked over a
pedestrian bridge I wanted to jump. I have always had some thoughts like
that going through my *****, but this time it was a very comfortable
thought and I swear it seems something was pushing my body to the edge.
When I got to the end of the bridge I was breathing very heavy, etc. I
was probably scared what just happened. It was the first time for me
that it didnt bother me. I hope it was just a very bad moment and wont
repeat. I also decide I am going to stand up for my rights on what
happened, etc. Anyway, I have been forcing myself to stay offline at
night because that simply will lead to my own "research" on myself which
will spiral me down even more. I made a promise to my new therapist I
would stay off for a week. Anyway I am going to check in tonight and
maybe help a newbie out. If Amy is reading I hope you are doing ok and
getting some help on here--do not become co-dependent on a "friend" or
"friend mom" in such a way to throw your life away for them. I have been
thinking that you exhibit some co-dependency. Read up on it online and
think about it. But I hope you have gotten some help on here ok? :) Ok I
am officially late for work now and sitting here naked at the computer!
Time to grab a shower!!
Don't get any on the monitor, 'K? Sheesh! :^P
Tracy Barber
haha
Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
Tracy Barber
Yep,,,,for $34.95/month you too can see me read ASD in the buff! The
frightening thing is I know for certain I could put up a webcam and CC
link and someone somewhere will plonk down some cash.
Thilly Humenz... Sheesh.
Tracy Barber
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