| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
20 Aug 2007 03:10:22 PM |
| Object: |
Muzzles....another long-winded post |
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 03:15:43 PM |
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<smudgedrose@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
my pleasure
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 10:27:05 PM |
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<smudgedrose@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me.
I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong
and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses.
I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even
ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion.
I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around
me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether
a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took
my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for
myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I
do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every
little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I
have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
You're a beautiful person with a good heart Rose. Despite what you
might be thinking or feeling about yourself at the moment it seems to
me your heart is always in the right place and you try your best to be
fair. No one can ask for more than that. And so what if you don't
always get it right, that's human, but that said, I also respect that
you have to do whatever feels right for you. Hang in there sweetie.
You're gonna be fine. :-)
--
Rhi
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| User: "mighty mouse" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
21 Aug 2007 06:52:49 AM |
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wrote:
(snipped)
I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
(snipped some more)
You're like the person who has been silent all their life, then suddenly
learns to speak. Sometimes you yell, sometimes you whisper. It takes a
while to get the balance right, but after a while you start to sing.
That said, I haven't got my balance anywhere near right, which is why
I'm so quiet here most of the time.
I'm happy to read any of your posts, but I'll be happier to see you post
things that make you happy or help you learn about yourself and get
stronger.
Be well Rose,
Kylie
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 10:32:47 PM |
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wrote:
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
Blah blah. Just *stop* doing it. It's getting excruciatingly tiresome.
Jean
~Rose
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 10:41:30 PM |
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On Aug 20, 11:32 pm, Luna <lunaj...@gmail.com> wrote:
smudgedr...@gmail.com wrote:
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
Blah blah. Just *stop* doing it. It's getting excruciatingly tiresome.
hahaha. I love reading you. Jeanie C. Riley.
I'm playing it cool, cause i haven't been here in awhile, so I'm like
one of those unaffected returnees...."Gee, I'm so much better...you
cats are still here?" I hate those guys.
My life: Full, yet sucky. Mostly my fault.
But I had the pleasure of canceling a fifty person Labor Day (US, sept
3) party here, cause my family blew apart, and my sister said tonight
in email, "You are sooooo not forgiven". This is the one I gave a
grand to 3 weeks ago, cause her girls were having a boring summer.But
Bob just got out of the hospital and is learning to walk again, so F
$@k Labor Day. I gotta work.
Frett...in the rain. feeling pretty good, actually. Just had my
hands in a man's backside. I feel needed. Gonna go pray for 5
minutes. So I can stop hating myself for 15 minutes.
And my hands have been washed. or shall be.
Jean
~Rose
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| User: "Jane" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 06:37:05 PM |
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Stop overly defending, that's about all I can see Rose. I'll honestly say I
have a hard time reading some of your post because your defense does seem to
repeat itself in the same post more then once in every direction, but no
worries, I tend to get long winded myself.
You're learning though and you'll eventually burn out and post less champion
posts. Honestly you'll still pick your battles and you'll still get involved
in flame wars. Hell I'm going on my 10 year anniversary in a couple of
months and I still don't know when to back off :o)
I think you're a bit like me that way and I'll pass on something that said
to me over and over again and I'm still learning, "you can't fix something
that doesn't want to be fixed"
Jane
<smudgedrose@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 10:31:47 PM |
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On Aug 20, 7:37 pm, "Jane" <jarsenal66nos...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Stop overly defending, that's about all I can see Rose. I'll honestly say I
have a hard time reading some of your post because your defense does seem to
repeat itself in the same post more then once in every direction, but no
worries, I tend to get long winded myself.
You're learning though and you'll eventually burn out and post less champion
posts. Honestly you'll still pick your battles and you'll still get involved
in flame wars. Hell I'm going on my 10 year anniversary in a couple of
months and I still don't know when to back off :o)
I think you're a bit like me that way and I'll pass on something that said
to me over and over again and I'm still learning, "you can't fix something
that doesn't want to be fixed"
Jane
<smudgedr...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
" winded "
Ah...the wind. It comes from somewhere and winds up somewhere else. I
don't think it really stops. It bumps into things, and goes around.
But not without whining. I do that a lot. But like the wind, I won't
stop until I am at rest under the wind, where I can still hear it.
But I will kick and scream to make that day as far away as I can.
frett. hey jane.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 10:38:06 PM |
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<Frettbird@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187667107.611461.53440@l22g2000prc.googlegroups.com...
On Aug 20, 7:37 pm, "Jane" <jarsenal66nos...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Stop overly defending, that's about all I can see Rose. I'll
honestly say I
have a hard time reading some of your post because your defense does
seem to
repeat itself in the same post more then once in every direction,
but no
worries, I tend to get long winded myself.
You're learning though and you'll eventually burn out and post less
champion
posts. Honestly you'll still pick your battles and you'll still get
involved
in flame wars. Hell I'm going on my 10 year anniversary in a couple
of
months and I still don't know when to back off :o)
I think you're a bit like me that way and I'll pass on something
that said
to me over and over again and I'm still learning, "you can't fix
something
that doesn't want to be fixed"
Jane
<smudgedr...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me.
I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong
and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far
far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm
losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make
excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me
for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my
life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even
ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that
it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion.
I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around
me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve
whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took
my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I
am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for
myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing.
I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every
little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the
most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I
have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to
suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness
and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading
my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I
greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
" winded "
Ah...the wind. It comes from somewhere and winds up somewhere else. I
don't think it really stops. It bumps into things, and goes around.
But not without whining. I do that a lot. But like the wind, I won't
stop until I am at rest under the wind, where I can still hear it.
But I will kick and scream to make that day as far away as I can.
frett. hey jane.
lol , no wait , yarg and roffle , yea , that's it
.
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| User: "Frett" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
21 Aug 2007 09:30:55 AM |
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On Aug 20, 11:38 pm, "%" <pers...@gmail.com> wrote:
<Frettb...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187667107.611461.53440@l22g2000prc.googlegroups.com...
On Aug 20, 7:37 pm, "Jane" <jarsenal66nos...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Stop overly defending, that's about all I can see Rose. I'll
honestly say I
have a hard time reading some of your post because your defense does
seem to
repeat itself in the same post more then once in every direction,
but no
worries, I tend to get long winded myself.
You're learning though and you'll eventually burn out and post less
champion
posts. Honestly you'll still pick your battles and you'll still get
involved
in flame wars. Hell I'm going on my 10 year anniversary in a couple
of
months and I still don't know when to back off :o)
I think you're a bit like me that way and I'll pass on something
that said
to me over and over again and I'm still learning, "you can't fix
something
that doesn't want to be fixed"
Jane
<smudgedr...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me.
I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong
and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far
far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm
losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make
excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me
for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my
life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even
ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that
it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion.
I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around
me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve
whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took
my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I
am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for
myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing.
I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every
little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the
most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I
have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to
suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness
and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading
my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I
greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
" winded "
Ah...the wind. It comes from somewhere and winds up somewhere else. I
don't think it really stops. It bumps into things, and goes around.
But not without whining. I do that a lot. But like the wind, I won't
stop until I am at rest under the wind, where I can still hear it.
But I will kick and scream to make that day as far away as I can.
frett. hey jane.
lol , no wait , yarg and roffle , yea , that's it
Chortle, snicker....Ok, I apologize. Forgive me.
I read that they are using new giant greenhouses up in your
neighborhood to learn to grow fresh fruits and vegetables. In August,
it's 54 F outside, and a balmy 104 F inside. Actually, this is at the
edge of the arctic circle.
They are also going to tax Mike's Hard Lemonade, down here, as Hard
liquor, which is taxed at least double the tax on beer.
Because it's so fruity and marketed to youngsters.
Well, that's how they described it.
I would like to apologize for their description.
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| User: "electro" |
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| Title: Re: Muzzles....another long-winded post |
20 Aug 2007 04:11:34 PM |
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in my humble opinion, you are such a kind-hearted and transparent person..
...you have nothing to worry about from the people that will really matter in
the end, Rose..
don't worry, be happy
Ty
<smudgedrose@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1187640622.783636.113050@j4g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
I am deeply disturbed over what I've been allowing to happen to me. I
feel like I've taken it upon myself to be the Lone Ranger of asd,
getting on my high horse and saying who is right and who is wrong and
what is good and what is bad. I am *not* a perfect person, far far
from it. I don't like myself right now for the direction my posts
have been going. I don't like debating to the point that I'm losing
the *real* me, which I haven't lost, and I need to return to that
person to keep my self-respect.
Just as I say about others sometimes, I don't want to make excuses. I
will try to explain by saying that I had a muzzle placed upon me for
the first 18 years of my life, and have kept it on most of my life.
Anytime I tried to speak up for myself, defend myself, try to even ask
questions so that I could understand only brought very severe
consequences. I won't get into the extremes, but I'll say that it's
taken my all my life to overcome the fears of speaking my opinion. I
have usually kept them to myself in order to preserve peace around me,
to avoid conflict and confrontation, and trying to preserve whether a
person 'liked me' or not but keeping quiet. Keeping quiet is very
deeply rooted in me.
Opening up on asd has been a huge accomplishment for me, and
especially speaking up against what I have felt was wrong. I took my
muzzle off so to speak, and I haven't been able to stop barking
since. I want to restore some kind of balance...that is to say I am
sure there will be times when I still speak my opinion, but for myself
there are also times when being quiet isn't exactly a bad thing. I do
not want to add to the negative atmosphere that pervades asd
sometimes. I want to feel calmer again, and not jump at every little
injustice that I see.
I am not saying what I am to be liked or disliked, and for the most
part nothing I have posted has been so that I could be liked or
disliked. I am me, but I am a work in progress. To those who I have
unnecessarily offended I am sorry. I wish that no one had to suffer
this nightmare called depression, and I wish whatever happiness and
peace anyone of us can find to everyone here. Thanks for reading my
posts and for the tremendous amount of love, kindness, support,
wisdom, advice, and replies sharing of yourselves to me. I greatly
appreciate it.
~Rose
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