| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
01 Feb 2005 04:18:59 PM |
| Object: |
My plan to a way out... |
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
(plus i don't want to upset god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
deppressed".
i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
just get thin..
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
i'll appreciate every single reply..
Thanks 4 reading
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| User: "Roland Koch" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
02 Feb 2005 12:25:24 PM |
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<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
(plus i don't want to upset god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
deppressed".
i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
just get thin..
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
i'll appreciate every single reply..
Thanks 4 reading
Well, appreciate this:
You've had a large number of replies from
caring people who urge you not to kill yourself.
Does that mean something to you?
Most, if not all, have gone through similar experiences
and they are able to identify with and understand
your suffering, and they urge you not to kill yourself.
Theirs' is advice I would not ignore.
You see,
"death might not end your suffering"
All the best,
GBY
Roland
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
02 Feb 2005 04:32:05 PM |
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i sure appreciate all replies, it felt really nice.. thanks
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 09:22:54 PM |
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<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1107296338.985035.63960@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
(plus i don't want to upset god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
deppressed".
i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
just get thin..
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
i'll appreciate every single reply..
Thanks 4 reading
you have gotten alot of good advice here. i hope you'll take it
(ie...getting help!).
i tried this same approach once myself awhile back. i knew that no one
would forgive my attempting suicide, so i thought i would starve myself
instead. i was already completely uninterested in food, so it wasn't
difficult to just give up eating. trouble is, people start to notice. and
before you can really get good and "unhealthy" they will stick you in a
hospital and put feeding tubes down your nose. also, it's a very painful
process, and i wouldn't recommend it.
please, you are only 20. please just get some help. if you die now, you'll
simply never know how the rest of your life would have turned out. you are
so young. please don't give up now.
~u2b (who understands)
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| User: "Zig" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 10:51:23 PM |
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On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 03:22:54 GMT, "Used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com>
wrote:
<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1107296338.985035.63960@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
(plus i don't want to upset god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
deppressed".
i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
just get thin..
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
i'll appreciate every single reply..
Thanks 4 reading
you have gotten alot of good advice here. i hope you'll take it
(ie...getting help!).
i tried this same approach once myself awhile back. i knew that no one
would forgive my attempting suicide, so i thought i would starve myself
instead. i was already completely uninterested in food, so it wasn't
difficult to just give up eating. trouble is, people start to notice. and
before you can really get good and "unhealthy" they will stick you in a
hospital and put feeding tubes down your nose. also, it's a very painful
process, and i wouldn't recommend it.
Very true that people notice. I had been doing this long ago when I
was 15. Wound up in the hospital b/c of suicidal ideation. Continued
to not eat there and that's when it was noticed big time. I was
finally given the choice of being like the girls in the eating
disorder unit with a tube down my nose and getting hooked up to a
feeding machine a few times a day or eating something. At that point I
knew I had lost and forced myself to start eating a bit, took my
multivitamin like a good kid and let them weigh me every morning as
soon as I got up. They tracked my weight for nearly the entire year I
was there.
-Zig
please, you are only 20. please just get some help. if you die now, you'll
simply never know how the rest of your life would have turned out. you are
so young. please don't give up now.
~u2b (who understands)
I have to agree with this. I know how hard it can be to face each day
not really expecting anything to ever get any better. It's a battle
that you have to fight each day.
But it's a fight worth fighting, even if you just chose to do so on a
day-to-day basis.
As my therapist likes to remind me until I hear her in my sleep, you
can always chose to kill yourself tomorrow...
-Zig
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 10:57:17 PM |
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"Zig" <captain_zig@PLEASEDONOTSPAMMEyahoo.com> wrote
Very true that people notice. I had been doing this long ago when I
was 15. Wound up in the hospital b/c of suicidal ideation. Continued
to not eat there and that's when it was noticed big time. I was
finally given the choice of being like the girls in the eating
disorder unit with a tube down my nose and getting hooked up to a
feeding machine a few times a day or eating something. At that point I
knew I had lost and forced myself to start eating a bit, took my
multivitamin like a good kid and let them weigh me every morning as
soon as I got up. They tracked my weight for nearly the entire year I
was there.
geez zig, a whole freakin YEAR?
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 04:31:42 PM |
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<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:1107296338.985035.63960@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
: i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
:
: life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
:
: So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
: in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
: and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
: (plus i don't want to upset god!).
:
: i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
: other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
: i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
: life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
: intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
: deppressed".
:
: i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
: just get thin..
: so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
: i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
: i'll appreciate every single reply..
: Thanks 4 reading
:
so let me see if i understand ,
you want to hurt yourself ,
because your life is too painfull and it hurts yourself
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 05:15:15 PM |
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yes i want to hurt my self cos inside im in pain.. i don't think that
not eating is hurting.. it's my way to end it.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 05:06:04 PM |
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yes that's right.. i want to die cos im hurting ... and i don't think
that not eating is hurting.. it's my way to finish it.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 11:25:56 PM |
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<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1107298723.473890.93800@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
yes that's right.. i want to die cos im hurting ... and i don't think
that not eating is hurting.. it's my way to finish it.
what if you get stuck in the pain you're in right now, after you kill
yourself, but this time for eternity?
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 05:16:38 PM |
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wrote:
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
(plus i don't want to upset god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
deppressed".
i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
just get thin..
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
i'll appreciate every single reply..
Thanks 4 reading
You've covered a very wide range of things with post. Suicide,
self harm, eating disorder and depression.
Is it possible that it is the depression causing the other three?
Have you sought help for that depression? I don't think people
with an eating disorder are trying to commit suicide but I don't
know much about eating disorders. So if that's the case it seems
the idea of not eating to commit suicide is a result of
depression. Does this sound about right?
If so, please get some professional help. This group is very much
into that and there are other groups that deal exclusively with
suicide ideation. Alt.suicide.holiday is one.
The depression could be causing all these thoughts. Wouldn't it
be nice to find a way to make these thoughts go away? Life can be
very cruel but there are proven ways to grow beyond most of that.
Therapy and/or medication can work real miracles but I'm not
saying it's easy. Or, we can take the quick way out but if you're
worried about a christian God then suicide is suicide no matter
how you do it.
Good luck.
GlennT
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 05:02:54 PM |
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wrote:
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not
in a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed..
and instead get paralysed or brain trouble.
(plus i don't want to upset god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
i want to hurt myself this way.. get distracted a little from my real
life.. cos my life is a pain... btw my family doesn't know about my
intentions at all.. they might be doubting that i'm a "little
deppressed".
i don't think this is an eating disorder.. cos i'm not doing this to
just get thin..
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
i'll appreciate every single reply..
Thanks 4 reading
You've covered a very wide range of things with post. Suicide,
self harm, eating disorder and depression.
Is it possible that it is the depression causing the other three?
Have you sought help for that depression? I don't think people
with an eating disorder are trying to commit suicide but I don't
know much about eating disorders. So if that's the case it seems
the idea of not eating to commit suicide is a result of
depression. Does this sound about right?
If so, please get some professional help. This group is very much
into that and there are other groups that deal exclusively with
suicide ideation. Alt.suicide.holiday is one.
The depression could be causing all these thoughts. Wouldn't it
be nice to find a way to make these thoughts go away? Life can be
very cruel but there are proven ways to grow beyond most of that.
Therapy and/or medication can work real miracles but I'm not
saying it's easy. Or, we can take the quick way out but if you're
worried about a christian God then suicide is suicide no matter
how you do it.
Good luck.
GlennT
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 05:17:58 PM |
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i don't think pros could make me feel better.. i used to think like
this .. read self help books, listen to tapes.. and stuff. i never
sought help though.. i did think about it in the past (=ED'm 20) but i'v
given up now..
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 11:26:50 PM |
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<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1107299878.819460.286250@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
i don't think pros could make me feel better.. i used to think like
this .. read self help books, listen to tapes.. and stuff. i never
sought help though.. i did think about it in the past (í'm 20) but i'v
given up now..
Have you been on medication?
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 05:27:55 PM |
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wrote:
i don't think pros could make me feel better.. i used to think like
this .. read self help books, listen to tapes.. and stuff. i never
sought help though.. i did think about it in the past (í'm 20) but i'v
given up now..
20 is very young. That is not meant to be dismissive but my son
is older than you and if he spoke like this to me I would
probably give him my 'you don't know anything about life' speech.
So often the worst years are the early years when you've got no
real life experience to deal with it. My brother took his life at
a young age which was a real shame because he could have got so
much more out of it.
Don't underestimate the pros because a lot of them are way
smarter than you or I. I certainly needed professional help even
though I struggled to deal with it on my own for years. I was
pretty obstinate about my ignorance. But I was still wrong and
life has proved that to me.
GlennT
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 08:36:27 PM |
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On 1 Feb 2005 15:17:58 -0800, wrote:
<(((*> i don't think pros could make me feel better.. i used to think like
<(((*> this .. read self help books, listen to tapes.. and stuff. i never
<(((*> sought help though.. i did think about it in the past (í'm 20) but i'v
<(((*> given up now..
If you're 20, then you are much too young to be thinking about
dying. I know, because I've been there, done that, swallowed a
damn-near lethal dose of meds, followed by swallowing and
vomiting out the charcoal shake. All this before my 22rd
birthday.
I'm now creeping up on my 52nd birthday. In between, I've had
various kinds of psychotherapy, an assortment of medications, and
30 years of what is, overall, a pretty good life.
Before you dismiss what "the pros" are capable of, I suggest you
seek help and find out first hand what they can do for you. In my
case, a mix of the right meds and the right psychotherapist
worked miracles. Before you write yourself off, you should be
certain that they won't work similar miracles for you.
Tara J. Ballance
Montreal, Canada
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| User: "The Do" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 06:07:25 PM |
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On 2/1/05 3:17 PM, in article
1107299878.819460.286250@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com,
"chocolatethingie@hotmail.com" <chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote:
i don't think pros could make me feel better.. i used to think like
this .. read self help books, listen to tapes.. and stuff. i never
sought help though.. i did think about it in the past (í'm 20) but i'v
given up now..
Look,
Everyone in here is a testament of strength and persistence.
Each one of us, at one time or another, came to the realization that
something's not right. It's called clinical depression and it stinks.
To varying degrees, we all feel the inner turmoil that can render life
unbearable.
However, because we linger and remain alive, we beat the odds time and
again.
Suicide is what it is, the end. There is nothing noble in it. Once you're
gone, you're gone. You may think it helps you, but in reality, there's just
no "you" anymore. You're left with a body that nobody wants to have. The
church won't recognize it, your family will revile it (out of anger or
sadness) and society simply won't give it any more attention than a 30
second commercial.
I recently looked over journals I wrote when I was 20.
I was amazed how hopeful my words were eventhough I remember the
gut-wrenching experiences that drove my pen across paper back then.
20 is a new time for living. 20 is something to behold. You will never know
how 20 was without perspective. And time will give you that. Do not despair
as you have the rest of your life to die a normal death. If it comes early,
then so be it, but don't sell yourself short before your time.
Try to imagine yourself better...
Paint a picture of this fantasy and surround yourself with images of what
would make your world a sane and rational place. Now take this picture and
dissect it into constituent parts. One by one, I want you to visualize each
separate singular thing and work toward attaining that goal. Along the way,
you'll see that some of these parts don't really matter in the long run. And
you'll learn to let them go.
Just give it a chance
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 11:10:23 PM |
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"(The Do)" <pheidippides44@hotmail.com> wrote
Look,
Everyone in here is a testament of strength and persistence.
Each one of us, at one time or another, came to the realization that
something's not right. It's called clinical depression and it stinks.
To varying degrees, we all feel the inner turmoil that can render life
unbearable.
However, because we linger and remain alive, we beat the odds time and
again.
Suicide is what it is, the end. There is nothing noble in it. Once you're
gone, you're gone. You may think it helps you, but in reality, there's
just
no "you" anymore. You're left with a body that nobody wants to have. The
church won't recognize it, your family will revile it (out of anger or
sadness) and society simply won't give it any more attention than a 30
second commercial.
hear, hear!!!!!!!
~u2b (clapping)
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 07:41:42 PM |
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thanks (The Do)
but i really still want to disappear. i don't know what tomorrow holds
4 me.
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| User: "DaKitty" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... (sp:suicide) |
01 Feb 2005 11:29:54 PM |
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<chocolatethingie@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1107308502.528881.160620@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
thanks (The Do)
but i really still want to disappear. i don't know what tomorrow holds
4 me.
It's okay to feel like that, I know, it hurts...
It's not okay to act on that feeling, that won't make it go away.
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| User: "Bev Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 11:50:26 PM |
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On 2005-02-01, wrote:
so am i right? or do i have an eating disorder?
You have to see a physician and maybe a psychiatrist first. Some people
have eating disorders just from a frustrated need to feel in control of
life, it's not just about weight or being thin.
i'd like to know what ppl think about this as a suicide?
That's how most animals do it.
I don't think any suicide is a good idea for a human. You and everyone
else would be better off if you went to your primary care physician,
your regular doctor, and told everything you wrote here plus anything
you held back. The doctor needs to know as much as possible and as
truthfully as possible in order to determine the best course of
treatment.
--
bevthornton@despammed.com Support: <http://www.aahuk.org/>
Let none through anger or ill-will wish harm upon another.
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| User: "Ivan Marsh" |
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| Title: Re: My plan to a way out... |
01 Feb 2005 05:11:52 PM |
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On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 14:18:59 -0800, chocolatethingie wrote:
i want to deprive my self from food... hurt my self and die...
life has been very mean to me.. and cruel..
So i've been thinking (and fascinating).. about killing my self.. not in
a direct way. i can't overdose.. i'm afraid i might not sucseed.. and
instead get paralysed or brain trouble. (plus i don't want to upset
god!).
i want to do it by starving my self.. i'm too coward of doing it in
other ways.. so i want to get rid of me by not eating much..
Life is cruel... live with it.
Where did you get the idea that starving to death is painless? You have
obviously never watched anyone die from the long, lingering death that is
renal failure. In the end, after a prolonged suffering, it will be your
potassium levels that kill you with... guess what? A massive heart attack.
I won't even bother to tell you of the other disgusting and humiliating
things that will happen to you on the way.
If you're not prepared to kill yourself outright then you don't want to
kill yourself... so go get some help.
There's only one thing worse than life... all the alternatives.
--
Life is short, but wide. -KV
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