| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Alistaire" |
| Date: |
17 Jul 2003 12:32:03 PM |
| Object: |
Negativity |
As I mentioned earlier in the week, a former "friend" of mine has told
me that the reason I have difficulty making friends is that I am too
negative. I personally disagree with this assessment. True, I am not
the most cheerful person in the world. I do not skip about with a
bright smile on my face and always looking at the bright said of any
situation. However I am a far cry from being a person who is
eternally shrouded in shadow, followed by my own personal rain cloud,
dour without fail, and saying "blah" to all of life's opportunities.
I have a great deal of trouble accepting that the only way to make
friends is to be unwaveringly chipper. I would have thought that
variety was the spice of life. Someone had asked me if I would be
friends with me (that is, do I like me.) The answer is yes! I may not
be an eternal ray of sunshine. In fact, I am more like one of those
cloudy yet pleasantly warm days you get towards the end of summer (or
in early spring.)
What do you think? Do I need to brighten up even more so? If I make
friends by doing this, are they really friends? Would I really be me?
I appreciate all of your responses.
.
|
|
| User: "ise" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
17 Jul 2003 06:04:18 PM |
|
|
(Alistaire) wrote in message news:<5d1ebe4.0307170932.34f1cb09@posting.google.com>...
As I mentioned earlier in the week, a former "friend" of mine has told
me that the reason I have difficulty making friends is that I am too
negative. I personally disagree with this assessment. True, I am not
the most cheerful person in the world. I do not skip about with a
bright smile on my face and always looking at the bright said of any
situation. However I am a far cry from being a person who is
eternally shrouded in shadow, followed by my own personal rain cloud,
dour without fail, and saying "blah" to all of life's opportunities.
I have a great deal of trouble accepting that the only way to make
friends is to be unwaveringly chipper. I would have thought that
variety was the spice of life. Someone had asked me if I would be
friends with me (that is, do I like me.) The answer is yes! I may not
be an eternal ray of sunshine. In fact, I am more like one of those
cloudy yet pleasantly warm days you get towards the end of summer (or
in early spring.)
What do you think? Do I need to brighten up even more so? If I make
friends by doing this, are they really friends? Would I really be me?
I appreciate all of your responses.
If it is your opportunity to be that way, then try to change, if not,
dont.
your friend simply meant (if the person is friendly), that most in
society accept not to be treated with the hidden sides that might
shine through. Then one can react and try to give a backup by whatever
a person can to make the shadow leave.
people who experienced me a bit, don t like my way of laughing about
situations and also not, when I feel pity and talk. I remember, that
in my early days my mother said to me I would never make friends, if I
stay "like that". I don t feel capable to be everybody s friend, even
if I wanted to: it s pretty much work, and I have to deal with my
life, too.
On the other hand, I
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "ise" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
17 Jul 2003 06:11:59 PM |
|
|
(Alistaire) wrote in message news:<5d1ebe4.0307170932.34f1cb09@posting.google.com>...
As I mentioned earlier in the week, a former "friend" of mine has told
me that the reason I have difficulty making friends is that I am too
negative. I personally disagree with this assessment. True, I am not
the most cheerful person in the world. I do not skip about with a
bright smile on my face and always looking at the bright said of any
situation. However I am a far cry from being a person who is
eternally shrouded in shadow, followed by my own personal rain cloud,
dour without fail, and saying "blah" to all of life's opportunities.
I have a great deal of trouble accepting that the only way to make
friends is to be unwaveringly chipper. I would have thought that
variety was the spice of life. Someone had asked me if I would be
friends with me (that is, do I like me.) The answer is yes! I may not
be an eternal ray of sunshine. In fact, I am more like one of those
cloudy yet pleasantly warm days you get towards the end of summer (or
in early spring.)
What do you think? Do I need to brighten up even more so? If I make
friends by doing this, are they really friends? Would I really be me?
I appreciate all of your responses.
On the other hand, I find it with some very easy to be sunny.
What you do when yogroupsur are the spring "shower", is it reaction on
ther people or somehow more connected to your will of expression? On
the first situation it might be easier to do something about, without
feeling alienated, on the second you can expect an scenario, in which
one mostly covers him-herself.
My impression, so far.
eli
hopefully the first message was not sent. I m sending over http and
the button click goes fast, now that the mouse runs crazy, it s fast .
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Flatteri" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
18 Jul 2003 10:11:38 AM |
|
|
Alistaire wrote:
As I mentioned earlier in the week, a former "friend" of mine has told
me that the reason I have difficulty making friends is that I am too
negative.
Well not having seen the post earlier in the week, I don't know if you
provided more details of this "negativity," but having driven away lots
of friends and discouraged many new ones myself, I will offer my 2 cents.
If you decide to believe that you don't make friends because to do so
requires being something you're not or putting on a show, that's an easy
way of not looking very hard at other possible reasons.
How much do you participate in friendships? Never mind whether you're
negative or positve. Do you express interest in people's lives? Do you
HAVE interest in people's lives? Do you listen when they talk? Do you
give them any sign that their company gives you pleasure in some way?
DOES it give you pleasure? Do they always have to call you, or do you
take the initiative in whether you spend time with people? Do you notice
their own moods and how they feel about things or do you focus mostly on
how YOU feel?
If you really don't like people or enjoy their company, then making
friends is a moot point. So I'm assuming you do want to have friends and
do enjoy people to some extent. Friendship does require participation...
It doesn't require sunshine to be streaming out your ***** all the time.
Try to evaluate what kind of friend you are, instead of what kind of
person you are. You can be the most interesting and intelligent person on
earth but a lousy friend. What things do you want to do with a friend,
what kind of activities or conversations do you like to have? And are
these likely to be enjoyable for the other person or are they basically
all about you? When you like people, do you think they can tell? Do you
think you're good at the basic stuff, like listening, not interrupting,
expressing interest in them, giving a compliment now and then? Sometimes
it's easy to be self-absorbed and not really notice how the other person
has to do all the work.
What do you think? Do I need to brighten up even more so? If I make
friends by doing this, are they really friends? Would I really be me?
I'm sure the "real you" has good days, bad days and different moods.
Everybody does. You can be the real you and still make an effort to show
your best side (whatever that is) when you're getting to know new people.
You don't have to make a big point of getting your negativity out there
as much as possible in the first five minutes so as to avoid being
accused of fraud. Know what I mean?
--
Get the kinks out before you email me
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "gnik regrub" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
18 Jul 2003 04:29:29 AM |
|
|
Also....you need to get a job with high customer traffic like at the
mall. If you work at the mall, you may not have financial power but
you'll have very high social power. And it's all about strength in
numbers. The more people you go through in a day, the more likely
you'll meet those with similar dysfunction until finally, you and your
group of mutants are actually the "in crowd" simply out of default
from shear numbers. Friends are like money...you need some to get
some....unless you work at the mall of course.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Whiskers" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
17 Jul 2003 03:18:44 PM |
|
|
In alt.support.depression on Thursday 17 Jul 2003 6:32 pm, Alistaire
<ayabech@yahoo.com> wrote:
snip
What do you think? Do I need to brighten up even more so? If I make
friends by doing this, are they really friends? Would I really be me?
I appreciate all of your responses.
If your friends only like you when you aren't being you, then they aren't
your friends.
It is hard to make friends when one is Depressed - but any we do make, are
likely to be genuine friends.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "gnik regrub" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
18 Jul 2003 04:19:03 AM |
|
|
Well...hmm...first of all, you got a name like that Mike Judge
character "darhia"....your name shouts intellectualizing
*****/librarian. You need a name like Debby or Cindy or Sherry or
Dakitty...something that sounds like a stripper....something cheerful
and perky....something retarded. You also may be confusing optimism
with naivety. HOWEVER...if you got big tits, you should have no
problem making guy "friends"...hehehehehe. ;)...yeah baby...jump up
and down....and stretch.
On 17 Jul 2003 10:32:03 -0700, (Alistaire) wrote:
As I mentioned earlier in the week, a former "friend" of mine has told
me that the reason I have difficulty making friends is that I am too
negative. I personally disagree with this assessment. True, I am not
the most cheerful person in the world. I do not skip about with a
bright smile on my face and always looking at the bright said of any
situation. However I am a far cry from being a person who is
eternally shrouded in shadow, followed by my own personal rain cloud,
dour without fail, and saying "blah" to all of life's opportunities.
I have a great deal of trouble accepting that the only way to make
friends is to be unwaveringly chipper. I would have thought that
variety was the spice of life. Someone had asked me if I would be
friends with me (that is, do I like me.) The answer is yes! I may not
be an eternal ray of sunshine. In fact, I am more like one of those
cloudy yet pleasantly warm days you get towards the end of summer (or
in early spring.)
What do you think? Do I need to brighten up even more so? If I make
friends by doing this, are they really friends? Would I really be me?
I appreciate all of your responses.
.
|
|
|
| User: "gnik regrub" |
|
| Title: Re: Negativity |
19 Jul 2003 02:53:26 AM |
|
|
....amen brother.
On Fri, 18 Jul 2003 13:19:05 GMT, Jamal Chapultapec <you@email.com>
wrote:
gnik regrub wrote in news:3f17b86b.9121813@news.mindspring.com:
Well...hmm...first of all, you got a name like that Mike Judge
character "darhia"....your name shouts intellectualizing
*****/librarian. You need a name like Debby or Cindy or Sherry or
Dakitty...something that sounds like a stripper....something cheerful
and perky....something retarded. You also may be confusing optimism
with naivety. HOWEVER...if you got big tits,
Knockers open doors.
you should have no
problem making guy "friends"...hehehehehe. ;)...yeah baby...jump up
and down....and stretch.
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
