"Trishamolson" <trishamolson@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040603073301.13966.00000328@mb-m18.aol.com...
The mailman came. The copy of his article finally got here from the
library.
It is the first thing he published on his own (we had previously
co-authored a
piece on Nietzsche, nobility, and the transitory). I waited seven years to
read
this piece. Of course now he is working on two books, and this little
first
article is not so meaningful of all that happened.
I found my name in two places where he thanks me for insights. That could
of
meant something. It could have been a sad but sweet acknowledgment of
what we
once shared. But it means nothing. I had to force him to do it when I
found
out that he had copied some of my work in the article. I said I would be
satisfied with an acknowledging citation . . . I would not have exposed
him
even if he didn't. That is how bound up I am still in this sorrowful
affair.
He took so much, I can't describe it in a way that would make sens to
anyone
who did not witness it. He sucked on my soul trying to breath in any bit
of
knowledge that might be there about the beatitude, nobility, purpose, as
taught
by the thinkers in our western tradition of thought. I could feel my soul
being chewed upon. He did not study these matters as a distant
intellectual
but because they implicated deep troubling questions he had about the
nature of
law, civlity, conscience . . . he knows he is a sociopath and that he
lacks a
core.
But I needed to get this article for he did the translations of a certain
Roman-canonical jurist, and I needed to go to the right secondary
literature
that exists on it and it is this piece of work. One must be professional
about
these matters . . . I will cite it.
I wonder sometimes if after he and I are long dead, will there be a
student
somewhere interested in the same subjects who comes across our writings
and
sees the cross references, or the way certain ideas overlap, and will that
student piece together the relationship behind the texts?? I can do this
with
Arendt and Hediegger (though I happen to know of their affair too). All
the
years they were separate, they still spoke to each other in a way through
the
work . . .
I am sad. I love a demon. And that is corrupt and will always stand in
the
way of really recovering. Somehow I must let go in my heart. Maria is
the
only sign to me of light and the reality of that light in comparison to
the
darkness I seem to lust after. Thank God for her preciousness existing in
this
world.
Rosena
so ... what's on your flip side ?
.
