| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"CyberDroog" |
| Date: |
19 Nov 2003 11:52:47 AM |
| Object: |
One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
One Jewish Soldier
A large group of Hamas terrorists are moving down a road when they hear a
voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One Jewish soldier is better than ten Hamas terrorists".
The Hamas commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune
whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then
silence.
The voice then calls out "One Jew is better than one hundred Hamas
terrorists."
Furious, the Hamas commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune
and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again
silence.
The Jewish voice calls out again "One Jew is better than one thousand Hamas
terrorists."
The enraged Hamas Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them
across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge
battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Hamas fighter crawls back over the dune and with his
dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap.
There's actually two of them."
---
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are
true and our happiness is assured.
- Ambrose Bierce
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
19 Nov 2003 04:30:47 PM |
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CyberDroog wrote:
Eventually one wounded Hamas fighter crawls back over the dune and
with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men,
its a trap. There's actually two of them."
I love it, sending it on to all my jewish friends......
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
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| User: "Criswell The Psychic Weatherman" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
20 Nov 2003 11:26:04 AM |
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CyberDroog wrote:
One Jewish Soldier
A large group of Hamas terrorists are moving down a road when they hear a
voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One Jewish soldier is better than ten Hamas terrorists".
The Hamas commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune
whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then
silence.
The voice then calls out "One Jew is better than one hundred Hamas
terrorists."
Furious, the Hamas commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune
and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again
silence.
The Jewish voice calls out again "One Jew is better than one thousand Hamas
terrorists."
The enraged Hamas Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them
across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge
battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Hamas fighter crawls back over the dune and with his
dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap.
There's actually two of them."
---
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are
true and our happiness is assured.
- Ambrose Bierce
Every so often this style of joke resurfaces. I remember it from the 6-day war
period. It showed that just a few Israeli soldiers could frequently overwhelm a
battalion of Arabs. While the attempt was to "push Israel into the
Mediterranean Sea", Israel, managed to take the entire Suez triangle land area
from Egypt, which was more than double the size of Israel at that time, as well
as much smaller areas from Syria and Jordan. It's only been through concessions
and negotiations that those countries have gotten some of that land back.
[That's sort of an explanation for harakiri.]
Here's another joke in a similar style from that time period - An army of Arabs
is behind a large sand dune, and the Israeli army is behind another, with just
sand between. From behind the Israeli dune someone yells
"HEY ABDUL!"
Everyone behind the Arab dune stands up, and the Israeli army shoots them all.
The Arab army sends reinforcements, but the next day,
"HEY ABDUL!"
and it happens again. After several days of repeated carnage, someone gets an
idea. "Before they yell, 'HEY ABDUL!', we yell 'HEY MOSHE!' and we kill all of
them."So, the next day, they put the plan into action.
"HEY MOSHE!"
Almost immediately, from behind the Israeli dune someone yells, "THAT YOU,
ABDUL?"
--
"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses;
it is an idea that possesses the mind." Robert Bolton
Criswell The Psychic Weatherman
ssenate@mindless.com
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| User: "SortaLily" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
20 Nov 2003 03:16:49 PM |
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Hi Ya Salt sweetie.....
; )
"Criswell The Psychic Weatherman" <ssenate@mindless.com> wrote in message
news:3FBCF926.40F79FE5@mindless.com...
CyberDroog wrote:
One Jewish Soldier
A large group of Hamas terrorists are moving down a road when they hear
a
voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One Jewish soldier is better than ten Hamas terrorists".
The Hamas commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune
whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then
silence.
The voice then calls out "One Jew is better than one hundred Hamas
terrorists."
Furious, the Hamas commander sends his next best 100 troops over the
dune
and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle,
again
silence.
The Jewish voice calls out again "One Jew is better than one thousand
Hamas
terrorists."
The enraged Hamas Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them
across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge
battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Hamas fighter crawls back over the dune and with
his
dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap.
There's actually two of them."
---
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends
are
true and our happiness is assured.
- Ambrose Bierce
Every so often this style of joke resurfaces. I remember it from the
6-day war
period. It showed that just a few Israeli soldiers could frequently
overwhelm a
battalion of Arabs. While the attempt was to "push Israel into the
Mediterranean Sea", Israel, managed to take the entire Suez triangle land
area
from Egypt, which was more than double the size of Israel at that time, as
well
as much smaller areas from Syria and Jordan. It's only been through
concessions
and negotiations that those countries have gotten some of that land back.
[That's sort of an explanation for harakiri.]
Here's another joke in a similar style from that time period - An army of
Arabs
is behind a large sand dune, and the Israeli army is behind another, with
just
sand between. From behind the Israeli dune someone yells
"HEY ABDUL!"
Everyone behind the Arab dune stands up, and the Israeli army shoots them
all.
The Arab army sends reinforcements, but the next day,
"HEY ABDUL!"
and it happens again. After several days of repeated carnage, someone
gets an
idea. "Before they yell, 'HEY ABDUL!', we yell 'HEY MOSHE!' and we kill
all of
them."So, the next day, they put the plan into action.
"HEY MOSHE!"
Almost immediately, from behind the Israeli dune someone yells, "THAT YOU,
ABDUL?"
--
"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses;
it is an idea that possesses the mind." Robert Bolton
Criswell The Psychic Weatherman
ssenate@mindless.com
.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
20 Nov 2003 06:14:05 PM |
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In alt.support.depression on Thursday 20 Nov 2003 5:26 pm, Criswell The
Psychic Weatherman <ssenate@mindless.com> wrote:
"HEY MOSHE!"
Almost immediately, from behind the Israeli dune someone yells, "THAT YOU,
ABDUL?"
My Grandfather heard it on the Somme [1]; the names were 'Fritz' and 'Tommy'
and it was mud not sand, but otherwise the same.
There were probably German and English versions at the same time.
[1] He drove an ambulance.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Alan Harding" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
21 Nov 2003 01:14:18 AM |
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In article <gv1091-b7k.ln1@ID-107770.user.uni-berlin.de>, Whiskers
<catwheezel@operamail.com> writes
In alt.support.depression on Thursday 20 Nov 2003 5:26 pm, Criswell The
Psychic Weatherman <ssenate@mindless.com> wrote:
"HEY MOSHE!"
Almost immediately, from behind the Israeli dune someone yells, "THAT YOU,
ABDUL?"
My Grandfather heard it on the Somme [1]; the names were 'Fritz' and 'Tommy'
and it was mud not sand, but otherwise the same.
There were probably German and English versions at the same time.
[1] He drove an ambulance.
They probably said it after the Battle of Hastings, with Wulfstan and
Geoffrey.
--
Alan@harding.demon.co.uk = Alan Harding =
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
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| User: "Flashfire" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
21 Nov 2003 02:12:07 AM |
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Whiskers wrote:
In alt.support.depression on Thursday 20 Nov 2003 5:26 pm, Criswell
The Psychic Weatherman <ssenate@mindless.com> wrote:
"HEY MOSHE!"
Almost immediately, from behind the Israeli dune someone yells,
"THAT YOU, ABDUL?"
My Grandfather heard it on the Somme [1]; the names were 'Fritz' and
'Tommy' and it was mud not sand, but otherwise the same.
There were probably German and English versions at the same time.
[1] He drove an ambulance.
I have heard the version of an Aussie soldier in place of the Israeli.
--
Regards Lee
~~
No one is compelled to serve great causes,
unless he feels fit for it.
Sir Winston Churchill
.
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| User: "harakiri" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
20 Nov 2003 07:25:33 PM |
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thanks for the explain. and i should have know too me dad being the one
that made sure the engines in the planes ran properly. this was in the late
sixties. he learned a lot about superior war strategies from the Israelis.
the abdul/moshe joke was cute!
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| User: "harakiri" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
19 Nov 2003 08:36:10 PM |
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my dark auburn hair is turning blonde. i dont get it
"CyberDroog" <CyberDroog@starfleet.gov> wrote in message
news:kdbnrvo013v3nup1jgb85mq5e1g1fne5t9@4ax.com...
One Jewish Soldier
A large group of Hamas terrorists are moving down a road when they hear a
voice call from behind a sand-dune.
"One Jewish soldier is better than ten Hamas terrorists".
The Hamas commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune
whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then
silence.
The voice then calls out "One Jew is better than one hundred Hamas
terrorists."
Furious, the Hamas commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune
and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again
silence.
The Jewish voice calls out again "One Jew is better than one thousand
Hamas
terrorists."
The enraged Hamas Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them
across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge
battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Hamas fighter crawls back over the dune and with
his
dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap.
There's actually two of them."
---
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends
are
true and our happiness is assured.
- Ambrose Bierce
.
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| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
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| Title: Re: One Jewish Soldier - Marty Should Love This... |
19 Nov 2003 11:10:10 PM |
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Eh? What part don't you get? Like a lot of jokes, it probably isn't
funny if you have to explain it.
I think it's pretty good. It works just as well with al Qaeda (or
Taliban) and American soldiers, too.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
"harakiri" <m.d.wittenberg@att.net> wrote in message
news:uMVub.292934$0v4.18011829@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
my dark auburn hair is turning blonde. i dont get it
.
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