| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Filpriros" |
| Date: |
15 Sep 2004 06:37:27 PM |
| Object: |
Only All of You Will Understand |
I get brain freeze again when I taught evidence today -- for a moment I could
not remember facts of case and I stumbled. I picked it up pretty quickly, but
this is all nerves and I am so so so afraid it will hurt my student reviews
("she was terrible, couldn't remember the damn cases!") I really work to
prepare . . .I got to get a grip somehow in classroom and put nerves outside
the door.
It was never like this before. It is like what you dream will happen in a
nightmare. And I worry about exhaustion.
John seems very far a way in the three universes away kind of sense, I feel so
busy trying to swim and keep my head above water that if I pause to think of
him -- I mean really think *of* him -- I get so angry and simultaneously
grieved that it paralyzes me and I can't be paralyzed right now . . . so I push
it away.
I feel as if a strong wind is pushing me here and there and I am falling and
getting back up, trying to cover myself and at the same time keep a clear sight
of what is immediately ahead so I don't stumble, moving quickly, not sure if
cataching all I should and keeping a smile pasted on my face as I say hi to
this student or that professor. Stumbling on words. I have to get a handle on
all this.
Going to work now.
Rosena
.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
|
| Title: Re: Only All of You Will Understand |
20 Sep 2004 07:43:13 AM |
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Filpriros <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
I get brain freeze again when I taught evidence today -- for a moment I could
not remember facts of case and I stumbled. I picked it up pretty quickly, but
this is all nerves and I am so so so afraid it will hurt my student reviews
I remember being a student quite well. I think you are worrying too much.
You can always _ask_ them for the facts anyway!
.
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