Question about my recovery (new poster)



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Topic: Sociology > Depression
User: "Harper Dean"
Date: 10 Aug 2004 04:51:02 PM
Object: Question about my recovery (new poster)
Hello, group:
Up until May of this year, just three months ago, I had clinical
depression with complicating PMS/PMDD for fifteen years. I am now on
Lexapro, 10 mgs daily, and unbelievably, my depression is gone.
Completely, utterly gone. That is wonderful news, of course, but I'm
beginning to wonder if it might be too good to be true.
Very brief history: from twenty-five to thirty-nine, the worst years of
my depression, I tried virtually every antidepressant available; SSRIs
and all the other types. All were intolerable for one reason or another.
I also tried hormone therapies for endometriosis and PMS/PMDD-related
mood swings; DepoProvera, Lupron, and the Pill, to name three. These
therapies made my depression much, much worse; I'm surprised I lived
through it. All during this time, I was continually in one-on-one
therapy and group therapy, and I read countless self-help books,
dutifully completing all the "homework," filling notebook after notebook
with recollections of my childhood, and tracking my thought-processes
and my moods. I tried Chinese herbs, nutrition, exercise, yoga, prayer,
fasting, alternative medicine--you name it, I did it. Nothing worked at
all until Lexapro. It's truly great stuff! It's almost too wonderful to
be believed.
A new doctor suggested Lexapro to me, explaining that many patients who
hadn't been able to handle other SSRIs were having great success with
this one, so I said I'd give it a try. I anticipated the usual
intolerable side-effects and failure, but this time, I didn't have ANY
side effects, and within three weeks I realized I'd stopped crying
inappropriately, I was stable and happy before and during my periods,
and my anxiety had vanished. I used to obsess about death; I agonized
daily about the uncertainty of the universe, about who the hell we are,
how the heck we got here, and what, since human life is so bizarre and
unlikely anyway, what dreadful thing might happen next. Existential
terrors, you might call it. Obsessions that previously disturbed
virtually my every waking moment, are now a non-issue. I don't think
about them anymore. The dozens of books in my personal library about
existential anxiety/fear of death are of little interest to me now. I
can't begin to tell you how strange that is; these are issues that have
preoccupied my mind for years. How could my personality change so
dramatically in just three months? I shouldn't be so cynical, because
the changes all to the good, but I do find it rather abrupt.
My question: how unusual is all this? Could it be good to be true? Could
I be manic? Euphoric? How would I know? And finally, perhaps the most
crucial question of all, how likely is Lexapro to continue to work for
me? I have no problem taking it for the rest of my life, but are the
therapeutic benefits of SSRIs known to "cut out" after many years of use?
Thanks very much in advance,
Harper
--
To reply by email: harperdean at astound dot net
.

User: "Noon Cat Nick"

Title: Re: Question about my recovery (new poster) 11 Aug 2004 12:03:23 AM
Harper Dean wrote:


<snip snip snip>


My question: how unusual is all this? Could it be good to be true? Could
I be manic? Euphoric? How would I know? And finally, perhaps the most
crucial question of all, how likely is Lexapro to continue to work for
me? I have no problem taking it for the rest of my life, but are the
therapeutic benefits of SSRIs known to "cut out" after many years of use?

When one is manic, the brain doesn't want to stop. Sleep becomes less
and less necessary. Thoughts fly off on tangents endlessly. Ideas can
become grandiose. Often money is copiously spent on unneeded purchases.
In full-blown mania, symptoms of psychosis might start being manifested,
such as delusions and hallucinations.
In my POV, it's natural for you to be wary of feeling well, having been
unwell for so long. You're not used to feeling happy and mentally
healthy, and now you have to come to terms with this unfamiliar
situation. It's certainly not unheard of for people to be suspicious and
anxious of new-found health after years of chronic suffering. As such,
this might be a very good time to go into short-term therapy, if only to
examine and discover what life has to offer--in particular, to offer
you--without the incessant emotional weight of depression.
As far as the medication you're taking, any psychotropic drug can wane
in efficacy over time. It needn't happen, but it's possible. If such
should occur, your pdoc might choose either to increase the dosage,
improve the effects of the drug by adding another AD to your regimen, or
make a trial of a different AD. But don't worry about it unless you feel
your depression reëmerging.
BTW, it's also not unheard of for an AD to have the effects you're
experiencing on Lexapro. Eleven years ago, after trying sundry other
ADs, my pdoc put me on Nardil. For me, it worked like a miracle drug. My
depression was erased, and astonishingly I've suffered none of the side
effects commonly associated with MAOIs. (I've had spells of depression
since then, for diverse reasons, but in all it remains the only AD that
works for me.) So it most definitely can happen.
HTH.
.
User: "Harper Dean"

Title: Re: Question about my recovery (new poster) 11 Aug 2004 01:11:26 PM
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
<snip>

When one is manic, the brain doesn't want to stop. Sleep becomes less
and less necessary. Thoughts fly off on tangents endlessly. Ideas can
become grandiose. Often money is copiously spent on unneeded purchases.
In full-blown mania, symptoms of psychosis might start being manifested,
such as delusions and hallucinations.

OK, I feel very much reassured that this is normal well-being, not
mania. I'm sleeping well and regularly, I'm content and relaxed; I am,
indeed, full of optimistic plans (school, volunteer work, auditioning
for a play), but nothing especially grandiose. I'm a more careful
steward of my money now than I was before (no more temporary
"cheer-me-up" purchases like cheap earrings and other junk), and while
I'm having all kinds of happy, hopeful thoughts for the future, I'm
pretty sure they're not delusional; no one has mentioned anything amiss,
at any rate. I don't think I'm God or his holy handmaiden or anything
like that :-D

In my POV, it's natural for you to be wary of feeling well, having been
unwell for so long. You're not used to feeling happy and mentally
healthy, and now you have to come to terms with this unfamiliar
situation.

Yes, exactly. It's new terrain. It's bound to seem strange for awhile.

It's certainly not unheard of for people to be suspicious and
anxious of new-found health after years of chronic suffering. As such,
this might be a very good time to go into short-term therapy, if only to
examine and discover what life has to offer--in particular, to offer
you--without the incessant emotional weight of depression.

That's an excellent thought. Right now I'm kind of in limbo,
support-wise: I'm in the process of moving to another city 100 miles
away. I leave tomorrow. Once I'm settled, I'll need to find a new doc
(my former doctor has given my something like five refills on my
Lexapro, so I'm covered there) and new psychological supports. It's the
first order of business, after unpacking the pots and pans :)

As far as the medication you're taking, any psychotropic drug can wane
in efficacy over time. It needn't happen, but it's possible. If such
should occur, your pdoc might choose either to increase the dosage,
improve the effects of the drug by adding another AD to your regimen, or
make a trial of a different AD. But don't worry about it unless you feel
your depression reëmerging.

OKay, good deal. I'll enjoy my newfound peace, and worry about reversals
when and if they come.

BTW, it's also not unheard of for an AD to have the effects you're
experiencing on Lexapro. Eleven years ago, after trying sundry other
ADs, my pdoc put me on Nardil. For me, it worked like a miracle drug. My
depression was erased, and astonishingly I've suffered none of the side
effects commonly associated with MAOIs. (I've had spells of depression
since then, for diverse reasons, but in all it remains the only AD that
works for me.) So it most definitely can happen.

I couldn't hope for a better testimonial, or a better reply to my post
overall, Noon Cat. I thank you very sincerely. I'm happy to hear you
found your own magic depression-eraser :)
Cheers to you,
Harper
--
To reply by email: harperdean at astound dot net
.
User: "Noon Cat Nick"

Title: Re: Question about my recovery (new poster) 12 Aug 2004 12:26:49 AM
Harper Dean wrote:



I couldn't hope for a better testimonial, or a better reply to my post
overall, Noon Cat. I thank you very sincerely. I'm happy to hear you
found your own magic depression-eraser :)

Glad I could help. Stay well.
.



User: "epicphart"

Title: Re: Question about my recovery (new poster) 13 Aug 2004 03:13:11 AM
Harper Dean wrote:

Hello, group:

good fuckin ' luck buddy....
.


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