Hi all,

Many of you may remember me from my frequent attacks on zoe and subsequent
posting of her "dirty messages" (and many probably don't want to remember me).
Well, I have an announcement to make:

This month, all of my dreams have come true.

Picture this: It's August of 2001. A 6'2, 380lb. 18 year old male who has been
overweight his entire life, has a severe underbite, and suffers from horrible
acne sits down in front of a computer. Up until this time, a friend, a
girlfriend, or any type of life in the real world is a totally foreign concept
to him.

His "life" is literally surfing the internet, playing online chess, and phone
sex with people off AOL.

Something happens: Upon subscribing to a separate usenet service, he discovers
a newsgroup called alt.support.shyness. He had been to other groups like
alt.support.depression, alt.angst, and alt.suicide.holiday, but none of these
"other" groups were quite like A.S.S.

A.S.S. had a mind-set all its own. It was a group where its posters had no
problem admitting to what many consider a major conversational "taboo":
Appearances matter to women.

At first, I earnestly did not want to believe that it was true. I wanted to
believe that qualities like confidence, good character, a warm heart, and a
romantic personality were really all a man had to be to get a girlfriend or
wife.

But then - I began to notice something: Most of the men I knew at the time (who
qualified more as acquaintances and co-workers than friends) who had
girlfriends, were really good-looking guys.

Strangers would often fawn over and compliment them. These guys could talk to
whomever they wished, and almost always receive a positive reception.

On the other hand, all of the guys I knew who did not have girlfriends were
either overweight, boney, or facially unattractive.

"No!" I proclaimed - I had to be imagining it. It had to have all been in my
head.

"These are nice guys with intelligence and great personalities.", I thought.
"Some of them even have college degrees! Surely, guys like these would HAVE to
have girlfriends or wives......wouldn't they?"

So, I decided to do some "field research".

I sifted through the 18-25 male pics on hotornot like a mad person to find what
I considered a suitable pic. He was good-looking and masculine. He was tan. He
was muscular, but not "body-builder" muscular. And he was stereotypical. The
perfect test subject.

This pic was saved on a website, because it was me who would be undergoing this
little project first.

I set up four profiles:

1. Hotornot
2. Match.com
3. friendfinder.com
4. Adultfriendfinder.com

I put up all four of my profiles. In them, I stated my hobbies which include
(but are not limited to): Chess, RPGs, coin-collecting, and computer
programming. I also stated that appearances did not matter to me. I was careful
not to contact or try to match with anybody. I simply put up the profile.

Three months later, on all four services, I had not received one message, not
one wink, nada.

Of course, "women don't approach men" and "women aren't like that", as people
have been telling me my whole pathetic life, so technically, this shouldn't
have surprised me.

One week later, I removed all of my real pics and replaced them with my test
subject. If something about the wording in my profile was naturally turning
women off, I assumed that they wouldn't respond to my profile no matter who was
in the pic.

I was wrong.

Within two months, I had received over twenty hotornot meet-me requests under
the new pic. Adultfriendfinder had messages from eight different women.
Friendfinder had ten. Match.com had twelve.

I was in awe. There was no way that these women would want to meet this guy due
to his appearance, women can't really be like that.

Then, later that day, I took a long walk outside and found myself lost in a
never-ending sea of happy, smiling girls - All types of girls: The beautiful,
the ordinary, the overweight - all having one thing in common: A fit,
physically attractive male companion.

The reality of my situation hit me like a train. Suddenly, all of those years
of pent-up misery, the desire to have a girlfriend, the desire to be wanted; it
all came rushing back. I locked myself in my bedroom and downed several valiums
with a large glass of Vodka neither knowing nor caring what would happen, only
knowing how desperately I wanted the pain to go away.

Two days later, I woke up in a hospital and got transfered to the psychiatric
unit.

This was my chance: I told the psychiatrist that I hated myself. I hated being
fat, I hated my acne, I hated being undesireable. I was prescribed medications
for depression, anxiety, social disorders. You name it - I had it.

When I got home and pondered my failed suicide attempt, I thought about the
effect this would have had on my parents and sister and how much I didn't want
to leave this world knowing that I never even made the slighest attempt to
actually DO anything about my numerous problems.

That's when I decided to make a change. My crusade began.

On my 20th birthday, I booked an appointment with a Manhattan dermatologist. I
wasn't being covered under any insurance plan but had saved up some money from
various eBay ventures. Over the next several months, I went to the
dermatologist on a regular basis and was given laser resurfacing treatments. I
was prescribed three medications - two to be applied facially and one orally -
I was very careful not to miss even one day of application.

One day, I woke up, gazing in the mirror in utter amazement: My acne was gone!
The scars were gone! I actually had clear, smooth skin without the slightest
trace of a pimple. The last time I was able to look at my skin and not be
disgusted was before puberty hit. My spirits rose. There was hope. Something
went well for me after all.

Feeling better about myself than I'd probably ever felt in my life, I
meticulously searched the internet for weight loss camps. I had tried diets,
gyms, and aerobics tapes but never really had the will to "go through" with
anything. I decided that if I was going to lose this weight, I would need some
assistance.

The camp I found catered to teenagers and young adults. It touted lots of daily
exercise and carefully monitored, healthy, and balanced meals. Not having
enough money for this camp, I was able to convince (beg), my mother to loan me
the money for it. We settled on a place in Texas.

I made my reservations, my mother booked the flight, and I was set. The first
two months were the worst. I would quickly became fatigued and needed to take
frequent breaks, but the more accustomed I became to physical activity, the
easier it became.

To my complete and utter amazement, the weight started to drop. From 380lbs, to
350lbs, to 300lbs. I started to think that it had to be a dream. I couldn't
have "really" been losing the weight. At 300lbs, I left this camp and decided
to join a weight loss program with weekly meetings. I soon went from 300lbs to
250lbs to 210lbs.

There were still three problems: A large, double chin, a severe case of
gynecomastia left over from the weight that no amount of excercise was taking
off. (basically, male breasts), and an extremely noticeable underbite that made
my jaw jut out much more than it should have, causing me frequent facial pain
and eating problems.

Under my mother's insurance plan, I was able to get a surgery approved to have
my jaw moved back by an orthognathic surgeon based on the problems I was having
eating. My jaw had to be wired shut for six weeks with an all-liquid diet.
Those were probably the worst six weeks of my life, but I made it through.

After more careful research, I discovered a prominent New York Plastic surgeon.
He did liposuction for my gynocomastia and for fat underneath my neck. I
briefly considered a neck lift, but I was told I didn't need one.

During the time, when my jaws were wired, something else had miraculously
happened: I went from 210lbs to my target, doctor-recommended weight of 195lbs.

I recovered from these procedures, took my pain-killers, and a few weeks after
the intense swelling of my face had gone down, I looked into that mirror again
and gasped in disbelief at what I saw this time:

Standing before me was a tall, muscular, youthful-looking, man with nicely
proportioned features. As if overnight, I had stepped inside some sort of magic
"Looks Box".

My entire life has changed.

Now, people actually smile at me. They listen to what I have to say, I have a
presence, they pay attention to me. They compliment me on my physique. Girls in
my university who once acted like I never existed now walk past me and say
things like "he's cute".

Several people have even told me that I should become a model, but if I did
that (not that I could anyway, too shy), it would go against every single thing
I have ever stood for. I've never wanted to be popular, all I wanted was to
simply feel good about myself. To not feel ugly. This is why I will still be
going for my degree in Computer Technology and intend to become a personal
trainer.

August 5th was the day that brought what was once a nightmarish existence to a
close. On August 1st, I put my pic up on hotornot.com. I checked my Meet-Me
profile the next day to see that none other than a thin, attractive brunette
girl in her late 20s had matched with me. We E-mailed each other several times
and I ended up calling her. We set a date for August 5th and met on that day.
She is unlike ANY woman I ever met. We're both into the same hobbies, she once
had a weight problem, we both have strong religious beliefs about sex and
marriage, Heck, she is even a fan of 80's console systems and adventure games

like me.

Thus, in light of these recent dramatic turn of events, I have decided to
apologize to certain A.S.S.ers who I, shall we say, "went off on":

DudeNe1971 - In one of my posts, I said that it was too bad that you did not
burn down in a nightclub incident. I didn't really mean it, I was just posting
out of anger and jealously over my own inability to have any success in a
nightclub. I would never honestly wish anything like that on anyone.

Pantz - In some of my posts, I've called you inappropriate names, However,
after googling many of your posts from a few years ago, I've come to the
conclusion that everything I thought about you was wrong. You are simply a
normal woman who just happens to be extremely good-looking. I misjudged. I
sincerely hope your daughter is feeling better.

Kitz - Sorry. I basically bashed you because all of the other male posters did,
I don't have anything "real" against you, it was all just a theatrical
newsgroup flamey thing to "fit in". So uhm, I wish your career and Bean well.

Zoe - I hope things are going well for whomever it was that portrayed Zoe.

- The Babaloughesian - You're smart and contributed a lot. I shouldn't have
even started.

- IMandTheBoys/Laura - I don't really know much about you and looking back at
your posts, I realize I took many of your posts as some sort of bizarre
subliminal attack against me. Looking back, I can see you were just trying to
give helpful advice. So, um - I wish you and the boys well.

- Victor - This isn't as much as an apology as it is an "I can relate"
statement. Out of all of the male posters, you were always the person I most
identified with. I know what it's like to feel that way. Often, life has a way
of evening itself out - and your moment WILL come to shine - I ASSURE you.

Since everything I have ever dreamed of has finally come true, I have decided
to take a break from lurking in a.s.s. and the internet altogether. There are
still many more dreams yet to pursue, such as marriage, children, and traveling
the world. I still have "down" moments, take anti-depressants, see a therapist
and have shyness issues, but will take it one step at a time.

Thank you to all - every single one of you who has ever posted to this group
for your words of wisdom and lack of fearing speaking your minds, and good
luck.

-Daniel\Formerly Nonassposter\Nonasslurker