tears, in their confessions and prayers; which
they are ready to make very much of, as though they were some
atonement, and had power to move correspondent affections in God too.
Hence they are for a while big with expectation of what God will do
for them; and conceive they grow better apace, and shall soon be
thoroughly converted. But these affections are but short-lived; they
quickly find that they fail, and then they think themselves to be
grown worse again. They do not find such a prospect of being soon
converted, as they thought: instead of being nearer, they seem to be
further off; their hearts they think are grown harder, and by this
means their fears of perishing greatly increase. But though they are
disappointed, they renew their attempts again and again; and still as
their attempts are multiplied, so are their disappointments. All
fails, they see no token of having inclined God's heart to them, they
do not see that He hears their prayers at all, as they expected He
would; and sometimes there have been great temptations arising hence
to leave off seeking, and to yield up the case. But as they are still
more terrified with fears of perishing, and their former hopes of
prevailing on God to be merciful to them in a great measure fail,
sometimes their religious affections have turned into heart risings
against God, because He will not pity them, and seems to have little
regard to their distress, and piteous cries, and to all the pains
they take. They think of the mercy God has shown to others; how soon
and how easily others have obtained comfort, and those too who were
worse than they, and have not labored so much as they have done; and
sometimes they have had even dreadful blasphemous thoughts, in these
circumstances.

But when they reflect on these wicked workings of heart against God-