jake wrote:
Shucks, I'm all embarrassed now... but don't stop!
Ok. I think you have a wonderful sense of humour.
Same to you!
Just the decision to go back on meds seems to have strengthened
my resolve. That and my mantras of protection that I use to
insulate me against certain realities. I have perfected certain
mental attitudes that I slip into when needed. Like fire
retarding suits for firemen.
Can you reveal one or some? It would be interesting to play with them myself
and see what happens.
Well it is complicated... I use meditation most mornings. I wake
up and as soon as I can I spend a few minutes meditating. Then I
have a series of mantra like statements that I run through my
mind while getting ready for work.
"you're okay"
"you are doing as well as you can"
"things can be made better with persistence"
"today is the day you're going to do better than yesterday"
"this life is short, make the most of it"
That sort of thing. I am now more open to the statements than
when I first started making them because I have proved to myself
that they are all true. I don't think of them as absolutes but
more like signposts to a better state of mind.
I have learnt to give lots of love to those around me even when I
don't feel like it because the rewards far outweigh the
investment. It is hard to feel bad when giving love... I also try
and be positive rather than negative to the situations that
arise. It just becomes a habit after a while and after a lot of
persistence.
I have written a lot on the group about how we have to let
ourselves enjoy life. We need to give ourselves permission to do
so. Feeling bad is unavoidable but letting the badness linger is
just a kind of mental laziness. Self empowerment is something
that takes practice. Nobody can fix me as well as I can fix
myself. "Fix" meaning a betterment not a cure.
I think I know whatyou mean.I have started noticing recently that some
people around me phrase everything negatively.One of them doesn't seem to
suffer from it in any way - she's happy. But the others do seem to get
negative results from it. It is easy for me to say that and pass judgment on
them, but I am glad I manage to be aware of that phenomenon. Rephrasing
things in happier words is making me happier. If only because me new
statements about myself makes me worthier in other people's eyes - they are
treating me better.
Suffering without positive phrasings might just prolong suffering.
The Dutch have a cultural habit of highlighting the negative. It
is a form of protection against bad things happening. Yet I have
a different mindset. I believe that expecting the negative means
that it will more likely happen and the same applies to thinking
more positively. Nothing, except sickness or death can stop you
once you are moving along your track. The trick is to find that
track and get moving in the first place.
A bad position is never acceptable for me. Although I do accept
that bad things have happened and accept the consequences of
those things I don't believe they are always going to happen.
Change is inevitable, you can rely on it. It is only thinking
things will stay the same that corners you into negative
thinking.
I am lucky. I don't know how much that should be admired. In fact
your situation has taken much more guts to come to terms with
than mine ever has. You have made some major life choices
recently and more importantly, followed through with them. So if
you are going to pat anyone on the back, start with yourself.
What do you mean by my situation needing more guts to come to terms with?
What particular situation are you thinking of? I can't think of any reason
why my life would be harder to deal with than yours.
You had an identity crisis. It was bothering you a lot. I can't
imagine how hard that must be because the basis of my 'success'
has been a firm belief in my place in the strata of life. My
identity is my bedrock and without it I would have been totally
lost a long time ago.
Yet you seem to have weathered this crisis and grown. You have
been prepared to forego your apparent place so to be able to
choose another... in my opinion that takes guts.
GlennT
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