snip

Maybe you have the extreme version of the "cold bed syndrome"...

Cold bed syndrome? That's a new one on me. Can you elaborate?

Something my friends and I came up with after I broke up with my beloved
partner of 4 years - I couldn't go to sleep alone, the bed was so big and
cold and empty. Once I described it like that to the friends, they knew
exactly what it was I was talking about. Ended up sleeping in friends' beds
for a couple of weeks - btw, strictly "sleeping". :)

I don't really have the same sleep problems I used to have. For about
6 or 7 years after her death, I couldn't sleep at night at all. I
mean, I could not fall asleep until the sun was up. And several
times, I went as long as 4 days and nights without a minute of sleep.
You start seeing and hearing things that aren't there after the second
night. I think the fact that the car accident occurred in the middle
of the night might have had something to do with it. The night of the
accident, I went to bed rather early, but awoke at 2:03AM (I remember
looking at the clock), and couldn't go back to sleep. I wasn't
notified of the accident until 5:15AM, and didn't eat or sleep for 100
hours straight after that. When I got the accident report a few weeks
later, yep, you guessed it, the accident occurred at 2:03AM.

Wow... I am so sorry about you loss. It must have been unbelievably terrible
for you. I can't even begin to understand you pain....
((((((((((Tim)))))))))

I can understand all too well that sort of connection - when my (current)
partner goes home for a few nights and is upset, I know it. Often have to
take sleeping pills to go to sleep - we feed off each others' feelings, even
across the city! If something happened to him, I'd know it.

Now, I can get to sleep, although it might be 4 or 5 AM. My biggest
problem now is (as confirmed by 2 recent sleep studies) is the
inability to get any deep sleep, as I related before. Just about all
of it is stage 2, which leaves me feeling exhausted all day long.

I can relate to that - especially after the alst 3 months. I couldn't get
any deep sleep, was constantly alert to something happening, even in my
dreams. And of course, that made the depression worse.. I hope i have
snapped out of that vicious cycle now, after a few Valium nights. For some
reason, it relaxes me enough to be able to sleep. I am going to beg my doc
next week for a prescription.

This either is caused by my depression, or contributes to it, or both,
and all of that worsens my GI problems. I also have IBS and GERD.

What do those stand for ... sorry, I don't know.

The doctors keep playing round robin with me. No medications they put
me on for any of my problems seem to do any good, except for rocketing
me to the poor house. The GI doc will say "Let's see if your sleep
doctor can get your sleep problem under control, then we'll see if
your GI problems improve." Then the sleep doctor says, "Let's get
that depression and GI stuff under control, and maybe we can do
something about your sleep." Then my psychiatrist and therapist say
"We may not be able to get your depression under control until the
sleep and GI problems are resolved."

I think you see my frustration.

I think I can. It sounds a bit like dealing with government depatments -
makes me feel like a little football. "No, I can't help you, but I'll put
you through to someone who can... ah, but that person doesn't have the
authority, so I am back to the original person etc etc etc" .