| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"audrey in velvet" |
| Date: |
13 Sep 2004 07:06:19 PM |
| Object: |
Ready to end it all |
skubik wrote:
.... because this pain is far too much to take anymore. I can't
function
in my job, my own family ridicules me for the way I am, I feel like I
don't have a single friend in the world, and I'm broke, I can't pay my
rent, much less my car and insurance payments. I was doing just fine
before that F***IN accident that forced me to have to go and buy a new
car. Everything was just dandy until that F***in moment. And my doctor
'prescribed' a week off work for me (unpaid), and I find out that I
*can* get paid for it, but I need my doctor to fill out a set of forms
from my work. Well, he charges $60.00 to fill those out just so I can
get paid a FRACTION of my normal rate of pay while I was away.
Meanwhile, I fear that I'll go back into work tomorrow and they'll
terminate me for missing so much time (I've made up 'excuses' to go
home
early because I hate my job so much that I have panic attacks, which
usually leave me sitting in a bathroom stall, punching myself in the
head (leaving bruises, which no one bothers to ask about... I drop
more
than enough 'emergency' warning signs that something is SERIOUSLY
wrong,
and NO ONE cares).
So the source of my problems now, I would say, are money-related. I
hate
money. It is the source of ALL evil, and DAMN the capitalists for
enslaving us to this unnatural, heart-wrenching way of life. Those
with
money abuse it and make the lives of the poor miserable, because they
can NEVER have enough. Sorry for getting political, and honestly, if
we
lived in an 'open-source' society, I'd probably just find something
else
to complain about anyway... so I should just rid the world of the
emotional stain that is me, and let this world destroy itself.
- Shawn.
__________
dear shawn...
youre having an anxiety attack. but everythings going to be okay. just
remember that your familiy doesnt ricidule you at all but that its all
in your head. your family loves you...these money matters are actually
just symbolic of other problems in your life.
whats 60 bucks eh? think of all that youve got going for you. youre
healthy youre gorgeous youre young youve got everything going for you
except these bouts of depression that just get to you when you need
exterior support in knowing that its perfectly fine to make mistakes
and to know that you dont have to become a millionaire to be loved.
i bet your father went through the same thing. i bet your mother went
through the same thing, and i bet your siblings did too, if you have
any siblings.
just know that when you feel this way....its actually a cry for help.
you know you need it but youre afraid to ask for it. you want someone
to realize that youre not *okay* although youre pretending to be and
trying your hardest to act okay. but youre not and you need to talk to
someone to help you through this.
:-)
audrey
.
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